this post was submitted on 16 Feb 2026
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Pattern: Death
Try dying
We noticed when people die they consume significantly less to no calories
The fat comes right off.
the maggots eat it. yum.
The calories don't count if I pass out before I log them.
I hear meth is also good at suppressing your appetite.
Or you could get aides
A nutritionist and a personal chef? I don't have that kind of money.
cancer definitely makes you lose calories, I am a diet app and very smart
AI dietologist 🔥
LLM-fueled?
Are they counting with the calories from the alcohol itself?
Hey, if you eat nothing while bing drinking you can keep calories low :)
Calories and thiamine both!
This feels illegal
I assure you it's perfectly legal, as long as you are of drinking age.
It kinda works for me. Sipping on a whiskey works to shift the craving for chips after I've already eaten dinner. Of course, that goes out the window if I don't keep it to the one drink.
Could it be that you forget to write down calories after a sufficient amount of alcohol?
Sowreee ofeesir, I'm on diet
I’m charging you with Diet Under the Influence!
Ah yes, the College Sophomore technique: Don’t eat all day, so the party beer gets you absolutely wasted when you’re drinking on an empty stomach. That’s just efficient use of resources.
Alcohol makes me eat more
You could also try losing a leg. Those are pretty heavy.
This idea brought to you by ChatGPT
Isn't alcohol digested as sugar?
- Pure alcohol has 7 calories per gram
- Sugar has 3 calories per gram
- Carbs has 3 calories per gram
- Fat has 9 calories per gram
So you're saying alcohol is healthier than fat...
Actually fat can help you feel full quicker and then eat less overall
Also, the whole myelin sheath thing.
“Have you considered cocaine?”
lol. You should get rid of this app.
Whiskey, the social laxative hero we all wanted, but didn’t know we needed.
Big brain. Huuuge brain. Big ol' bulbous throbbing pulsating brain time.
...I mean, this isn't automatically bad advice. Kinda depends on the quantity and frequency of the alcohol vs calories. If you're having a glass of wine at the end of an otherwise nutritionally well-executed day; vs going apeshit with candy, soda, chips, etc - but not drinking; the former is definitely the better of the two. Recognizing and leveraging those kinds of patterns are key to making some new change into a habit.
Especially if you treat this as a stepping stone to develop some good habits while weening off of bad ones - for that to work you need to tolerate some degree of bad ones as you dial them closer and closer to zero.
Perfect is the enemy of good.
"You should my calorie intake on the days I smoke crack!"
when your nutrition app has a contract with Suntory
Yes. Ok. Let's do that.