this post was submitted on 16 Feb 2026
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top 38 comments
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[–] Sarcasmo@piefed.social 122 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] frog@feddit.uk 71 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Pattern: Death

Try dying

We noticed when people die they consume significantly less to no calories

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 16 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] umbrella@lemmy.ml 9 points 2 weeks ago

the maggots eat it. yum.

[–] betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 73 points 2 weeks ago

The calories don't count if I pass out before I log them.

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 61 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I hear meth is also good at suppressing your appetite.

[–] mike_hunt@sh.itjust.works 12 points 2 weeks ago

Perhaps, but I hear it may have certain side effects...

[–] skisnow@lemmy.ca 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] SwingingTheLamp@piefed.zip 6 points 2 weeks ago

A nutritionist and a personal chef? I don't have that kind of money.

[–] amino@lemmy.blahaj.zone 40 points 2 weeks ago

cancer definitely makes you lose calories, I am a diet app and very smart

[–] kilgore_trout@feddit.it 36 points 2 weeks ago

AI dietologist 🔥

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 26 points 2 weeks ago

LLM-fueled?

[–] First_Thunder@lemmy.zip 21 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Are they counting with the calories from the alcohol itself?

[–] FartMaster69@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Hey, if you eat nothing while bing drinking you can keep calories low :)

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

Calories and thiamine both!

[–] m4xie@lemmy.ca 18 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] mike_hunt@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 weeks ago

I assure you it's perfectly legal, as long as you are of drinking age.

[–] IrateAnteater@sh.itjust.works 18 points 2 weeks ago

It kinda works for me. Sipping on a whiskey works to shift the craving for chips after I've already eaten dinner. Of course, that goes out the window if I don't keep it to the one drink.

[–] 18107@aussie.zone 17 points 2 weeks ago

Could it be that you forget to write down calories after a sufficient amount of alcohol?

[–] BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works 16 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Sowreee ofeesir, I'm on diet

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 4 points 2 weeks ago

I’m charging you with Diet Under the Influence!

Ah yes, the College Sophomore technique: Don’t eat all day, so the party beer gets you absolutely wasted when you’re drinking on an empty stomach. That’s just efficient use of resources.

[–] usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca 9 points 2 weeks ago

Alcohol makes me eat more

[–] SethTaylor@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago

You could also try losing a leg. Those are pretty heavy.

This idea brought to you by ChatGPT

[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Isn't alcohol digested as sugar?

[–] CubitOom@infosec.pub 7 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)
  • Pure alcohol has 7 calories per gram
  • Sugar has 3 calories per gram
  • Carbs has 3 calories per gram
  • Fat has 9 calories per gram
[–] mike_hunt@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

So you're saying alcohol is healthier than fat...

[–] CubitOom@infosec.pub 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Actually fat can help you feel full quicker and then eat less overall

[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 2 points 1 week ago

Also, the whole myelin sheath thing.

[–] Aeao@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

“Have you considered cocaine?”

[–] heiligerbimbam@lemmy.wtf 5 points 2 weeks ago

lol. You should get rid of this app.

[–] wildncrazyguy138@fedia.io 5 points 2 weeks ago

Whiskey, the social laxative hero we all wanted, but didn’t know we needed.

[–] lolola@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 2 weeks ago

Big brain. Huuuge brain. Big ol' bulbous throbbing pulsating brain time.

[–] Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

...I mean, this isn't automatically bad advice. Kinda depends on the quantity and frequency of the alcohol vs calories. If you're having a glass of wine at the end of an otherwise nutritionally well-executed day; vs going apeshit with candy, soda, chips, etc - but not drinking; the former is definitely the better of the two. Recognizing and leveraging those kinds of patterns are key to making some new change into a habit.

Especially if you treat this as a stepping stone to develop some good habits while weening off of bad ones - for that to work you need to tolerate some degree of bad ones as you dial them closer and closer to zero.

Perfect is the enemy of good.

[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

"You should my calorie intake on the days I smoke crack!"

[–] londos@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

https://youtu.be/WM273cwMuQI

Classic so old I don't even think it does the rounds anymore

[–] AppleTea@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 weeks ago

when your nutrition app has a contract with Suntory

[–] dbtng@eviltoast.org 2 points 2 weeks ago

Yes. Ok. Let's do that.