this post was submitted on 09 Mar 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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What's your most anticipated banger?

top 50 comments
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[โ€“] alfonsothemonkey@lemmy.world 1 points 2 minutes ago

Someone died of Sciatica ๐Ÿ˜ตโ€๐Ÿ’ซ

[โ€“] ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 4 points 1 hour ago (2 children)

The fact that infants dying is the highest by far just shows how cruel nature is without modern medicine and birthing practices

[โ€“] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago)

in college, i did a fair amount of number crunching on mortality statistics and the demographic transition. here's some numbers i remember from the 1700s:
life expectancy: 40
life expectancy at age 20: 72
modern medicine has not added much to our longevity, we've just gotten rid of childhood mortality.

[โ€“] eah@programming.dev 1 points 47 minutes ago* (last edited 41 minutes ago)

I've spent more time than I care to admit reading Wikipedia entries on significant people from past centuries. Way too often their life story is full of disease and death. A dozen siblings. All of them suffer the same disease in childhood. Half of them don't make it to adulthood. Mother dies during childbirth. Father struggles making money from their creative work, dies in a duel. Subject cared for by wealthy uncle. Is affected for the remainder of their life by the lingering effects of the childhood disease. Repeat for the next generation.

[โ€“] IamtheMorgz@lemmy.world 4 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

Everyone is caught up on Cancer and Wolf and I'm over here like... Burst and Rupture?!?!!!!

[โ€“] ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 2 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

I think it's like ruptured organs like an appendix bursting or something like that

i was going to suggest it might also be fistula but i see it listed separately

[โ€“] yakko@feddit.uk 1 points 59 minutes ago

You all missed that more people died of grief than were murdered. That's the most English thing I've ever heard.

[โ€“] joan@lemmy.world 3 points 1 hour ago

"dead in the street, and starved"

[โ€“] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 5 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago)

This is specifically a Dethklok track list. Some of these are kinda brutal.

Producer: Okay, but... "Teeth?"

Band: ::complaints and groans of disbelief::

Nathan: They're like... bone knives. In your face. And kids lose their first set with blood and agony, and then you get even more. It's so f---ing brutal. So we made a song about it.

Toki: Plus it's important to teach the kids about brushing.

Swissgar: Yous don't want to be losings your bone face knives.

[โ€“] songwriterallnighter@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

62 people couldnโ€™t wait I see.

[โ€“] Golden@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 2 hours ago

And only 15 proactive folksย 

[โ€“] borQue@lemmy.zip 1 points 2 hours ago

I thought cancer was invented in the '60s

[โ€“] MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world 20 points 7 hours ago (2 children)
[โ€“] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 9 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago)

"Be careful, my relative tried chemo for the first time and died 3 days later to a wolf attack."

[โ€“] rmuk@feddit.uk 5 points 6 hours ago

Hard to say which one finished them off. Better put both.

[โ€“] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 8 points 6 hours ago (2 children)

"King's evil"

Political bars.

[โ€“] hector@lemmy.today 3 points 4 hours ago

The axe, or hanging, or drawing and quartering, etc. Not often old age in prison so much.

[โ€“] WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

How does one die of piles?

blood loss or starvation i'd imagine.

[โ€“] rmuk@feddit.uk 6 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Alright, but I'm only going to show you once.

What an asshole. /s

[โ€“] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 4 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Lunatique - Amazing band name, I call dibs.

Blackened Thrash/Speed? Or Proggy Black/Extreme?

[โ€“] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 18 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

they still use colic to describe severe idiopathic abdominal pain

[โ€“] rozodru@piefed.world 16 points 9 hours ago

Planet.

"Sir how did your wife pass?"

"Planet."

"pardon?"

"Mars got her."

"Mars?"

"yes, The Planet. slings bow over his back and gathers arrows Mars."

[โ€“] jaybone@lemmy.zip 16 points 10 hours ago

I like killed by several accidents.

Also teeth seems like a popular one.

[โ€“] wewbull@feddit.uk 6 points 8 hours ago

Rising of the lights!

Apparently any condition that caused lots of coughing.

[โ€“] laranis@lemmy.zip 7 points 8 hours ago (2 children)

In 400 years our list of conditions will seem similarly naive and simplistic.

Been to a doctor lately? We can't cure shit. We've got a few meds that can help balance systems or mask pain. We can cut shit open and rearrange it. We can zap some shit with radiation. But actually fix anything? Nah. Maybe in another 400 years.

"Oh, look, they treated obesity as a disease. And heart disease? Hahaha that's funny. Hearts are so simple.Cant believe cancer is its own category. Everyone knows what causes that and how to treat it."

I will say the improvement in infant mortality is amazing. At no time in human history have infants had a better chance of survival than now(ish). So maybe I'm just cynical and disillusioned with the current state of my medical care.

we've improved infant mortality and added 6 bad years to the end of life. that's all medicine has done for mortality statistics.

we are able to treat some diseases poorly, some diseases well, we've eradicated a few but some dipshits decided it would be fun to bring them back so that's cool i guess. they've also discovered how to keep people alive while they are in several different parts across the room, which i have doubts about whether they discovered that ethically.

[โ€“] hector@lemmy.today 4 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

If you are truly cynical you would realize that Society will collapse long before 400 years, matter of fact, let me glance at the clock.

[โ€“] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 0 points 3 hours ago

"lol they died of having a pitiful human body"

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