this post was submitted on 15 May 2026
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[–] Allero@lemmy.today 11 points 6 days ago (2 children)

This is why I open up earlier. Not at the first date or something, but at most a few months in.

You will eventually open up, and if it grosses your partner out to the point of ruining your relationship, you better know now rather than later, when you've spent so much time together and have more to lose.

[–] caseyweederman@lemmy.ca 5 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Heck, start even earlier. Open a few months prior to the relationship!

[–] lb_o@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

Good idea! When I was a kid I almost drown in the river. That made me silent for two years from age five to seven, and when I was seven my voice slowly came back to me and I begun speaking again gradually.

[–] caseyweederman@lemmy.ca 1 points 5 days ago

!remindme three months bring flowers

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world -1 points 6 days ago

that's why you do it back to them when they do it to you. taste of their own medicine.

[–] Arcane2077@sh.itjust.works 4 points 5 days ago

The childhood trauma: The dumbest shit you ever heard

[–] Psionicsickness@reddthat.com 8 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Anon fell victim to one of the classic blunders!

[–] fckreddit@lemmy.ml -1 points 6 days ago

Being in a relatonship is a pretty big blunder. /s

[–] rbos@lemmy.ca 2 points 6 days ago

Trauma-dumping everything at once seems like a bad strategy. Trickle out the crazy.

[–] alexquiniou@lemmy.zip 1 points 6 days ago (1 children)

What have you said ? What is you trauma ?

Because trauma doesn't mean you are the victim.

[–] herrvogel@lemmy.world 5 points 6 days ago

OP has PTSD from when he was a mafia hitman specializing in murdering the families of small business owners who didn't pay protection money.

[–] SwingingTheLamp@piefed.zip 1 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I've heard variations on this basic story in men's spaces online so, so many times. He made the classic mistake of opening up about his fears and vulnerabilities.

[–] Kimjongtooill@sh.itjust.works 2 points 6 days ago

If you open up to someone and they get weirded out this bad, they probably weren't worth having in your life anyway, or at least aren't right now.

Granted, if you have actual past trauma, you should work on it with a therapist instead of your partner. And if your partner hasn't gone through something similar and can't relate at all, you shouldn't go into great detail about it. I disclose what the general trauma was about and leave it at that.

Fuck all that "Gary Cooper" John Wayne build walls bullshit.

https://youtu.be/psN1DORYYV0