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Having a lil buzzer is fun and games until forever. Saying from a perspective of a guy who swore never to have kids but someday figured that you just have to do something in your life.
But it's so fucking hard to get to that point in your life that you can actually afford having a kid
All those kid-negative comments are true. My 3 kids are noisy, tiring and expensive. But ... now I'm very wary of the time when they'll leave the house. They fill it with life and joy. Yes those laughters are magical.
Both can be true. At the same time
Yeah. It's like nobody wants to acknowledge positive side
I always wanted kids, it seems so sweet.
Unironically I probably will have kids in the next couple years. Just enjoying it while I can.
get your priorities knocked out before you start cuz you become a passenger in the metaphorical ride of life once you bring children onboard
Im in a good spot financially, mentally and physically. I own my property and home. Stable good income job, could support the household on my pay alone. But my girl also has a good gig. Athough we aren't married. Really just nervous about being a kind of selfish person honestly.
I had a kid and suddenly all my money and free time evaporated.
How does something so small make me go from one load of laundry a week to 2 a day??
Where did the money go? I’m not buying much more.
How the fuck is the sink full of dirty dishes? I literally finished the dishes 12 seconds ago.
Why is everything sticky? What the fuck is on the ceiling?!?!
Elementary teacher here. I can corroborate that everything is somehow sticky at school, too.
Kids are little disease vectors that drain your life-force and murder your dreams.
If you enjoy being broke, fat, tired, and boring, you should totally have kids. Come on, do it! Your friends and family just assume you’ll squeeze out one or two, you don’t want to disappoint them , do you?
Tbf, people who talk like this shouldn’t really have kids anyway so it’s an issue that resolves itself.
No it doesn’t. People fuck, kids happen. Recognizing people have human compulsions but don’t want to deal with the consequences requires forethought, whether that’s a condom, birth control, or sterilization. Fuck off with you “an issue that resolves itself” bullshit. Responsibility and self-awareness prevents it.
I have no idea what you are saying, did you reply to the wrong comment?
No. The implication that people who don’t want kids somehow don’t end up in situations where kids are produced is ludicrous. People don’t fuck just to make babies, but since that is a possibility, avoiding that outcome is a responsibility. Not everyone who doesn’t want kids automatically becomes a bad parent when they do occur, and not everyone who intentionally creates kids is a good parent.
No, people who call kids ‘disease vectors’ shouldn’t have kids, silly billy.
Gotta back him up on this point, and I think every parent will agree - from the time they are toddlers until late in high school you WILL catch every disease all the other kids at school had that week. Among most parents it's a running joke.
Mine are grown now but still living at home and I STILL catch shit from them going around their unis.
It is true - two colds in 3 months here. It is what happens when you get 30 kids into a confined space, immediate spread.
Your original reply implied that people who hold such a belief somehow end up not making babies because of that belief. I continue to suggest the onus is on people with that belief to prevent them while knowing that it’s quite likely they’re going to fuck, and frankly, your opinion about their reproductive rights and bodily autonomy is irrelevant. I mean, what’s your proposal, comb people’s post histories for comments like “disease vectors” and take their kids away when condoms fail or a pill is missed, or do we just sterilize/castrate them beforehand?
I said shouldn’t , not don’t. I think you need to work on your comprehension. I don’t know why this has set you off so much, but I sincerely hope you get the help you need.
$20 days they have at least one kid they didn’t want to / weren’t planning on having.
I’ll take your $20. Snipped at 23 because, as I’ve been pointing out, the responsibility of preventing unwanted children is on the potential parent who’s disinterest in reproducing is neither a disinterest in sex nor somehow prevents sex from occurring.
$20 to gurty
Gurty resorted to insults that required disparaging special needs and you won’t honor a bet because you lost. You two deserve one another.
Show me the disparaging comment
👆it’s all in the comments right above this. They even came back when called out on it and did the old “I know someone special needs so it’s not bigoted” defense and are accusing others who called them on it of being abelists.
I’m out.
it’s an issue that resolves itself.
Explain how people not wanting kids “resolves itself”. Do you think they don’t have sex?
People who dislike kids and don’t want kids are less likely to have kids. I’m sorry but is there someone around you that usually helps you when you are talking to people?
I’m sorry but is there someone around you that usually helps you when you are talking to people?
So what if there was? Adding a backhanded jab that relies on treating special needs people like they’re less than capable of handling themselves and need someone else to do their talking as an insult is a real shitbag comment. If you want to resort to name calling don’t use the idea of special needs as making someone else lesser.
It’s also not an “issue”, as if avoiding parenthood is somehow a deviation from the norm or amoral choice. If OPs comment struck a nerve, call them out on the part of the comment that struck the nerve- their description of kids as disgusting. There’s no issue in not having kids and the choice to not make them is resolved when the people who don’t want them take personal responsibility and precautions to prevent it from happening.
Why is needing extra assistance classed as a backhand jab to you? I have a family member who has someone help with forms and phonecalls and I have personally had to interject with their online activity, its more common than you think. Why do you class that as derogatory?
Fuck off with the “I know someone so my comment isn’t bigoted” bullshit. That’s the oldest save face in the book, and it’s even more pathetic when you’re anonymously online because it’s unverifiable. But by all means, explain how your comment wasn’t an attempt to take a jab at my intellect by implying I was a member of vulnerable minority. Seriously though, don’t reply with whatever you think will “win”. There’s zero doubt that you wrote that as an insult in this conversation, we’re clearly bickering and you didn’t suddenly make a U-Turn and use your supposed loved one’s needs as genuine concern, you used it to undercut by implying my response is unintelligent and needs someone smarter to write it for me. You’re smart enough to know “retard” is verboten but savvy enough with words to make the same implication.
You were bickering on your own. Feel free to go through my replies to you and tell me where I was bickering with you. Your reaction to my genuine personal experience tells me all I need to know about you. I hope you find peace. Take care.
If you truly have someone in your life like that but then use your knowledge of their needs to craft better insults you’re worse than a liar trying to save face. It’s bad enough when people treat disability like it’s an insult out of ignorance. You’re not ignorant, you have someone you supposedly love and know what their life is like but choose to take that path anyway. Shame on you.
I’m not reading that. I wish you well.
Well then you’ve either chosen ignorance or are a liar and have run out of excuses and redirects. If you want a safe space where people won’t call you out on your put downs at the expense of vulnerable populations, I’d suggest Facebook or Twitter. They’re filled with MAGAts, Zionists, and Christofascists who turn being held accountable into a persecution complex.
Again, not reading but I genuinely wish you well.
I don't have any kids and no complaints, but something tells me we're going to have to revisit this thought when we're above 80 years of age.
My father's counterargument to my refusing to procreate is exactly this. "Who's going to take care of you when you're old?" What that told me is his main reason for having kids was to have someone do that for him. Funny, because despite having lived under the same roof, he wasn't much in my life, or has made any positive inpact on me. Everything was on mom (and sometimes grandmother). And now listening to him talk like some day I will move back to the country and abandon my entire life to take care of him/them, while right at this moment he's being extremely financially irresponsible? Cool cool cool. My partner's mother expects the same, all the while she doesn't work at all because it's beneath her.
With that said, I find having children for the sole purpose of them taking care of me in my old age not only selfish (especially with the imminent climate collapse), it's also risky (and I'm not even talking cases where the child has disabilities and can't take care of their own needs). And that's in the case I even live that long.
Your dad is indeed quite selfish.
But I think we will start to go back to the multigenerational housing. Young folks can't afford a house, so live with their folks, have kids, who help with the kinds ...and then their folks need care as they age.
Could be a virtuous circle or a vicious one depending on your family/situation.
I bet you're right. Im dreading when my parents get Old and need assistance. I am in no way prepared for that.
And then I'll be alone when I get old. No kids to help me then.
So umm... Not to be a downer but,
depressing stuff incoming. Don't read if you just wanna shitpost.
my mom is currently in need of assistance for basically everything rn. She has something with no cure and that will only get worse.
I'm not assisting all the time but I do get a day or two every week or two weeks. I usually tell her stories and sometimes sing to her. She's still somewhat there.. You can tell she's listening to your story because her eyes show attention on the interesting parts. She sometimes mumbles/hums to songs she knew as a kid... But she isn't fully there. She sometimes doesn't respond to any external stimuli at all, sometimes with grimaces of pain. It can get ugly... And there's also the part of her needing help with everything... Yes, everything.
I'm just gonna say, the problem isn't the ugly stuff or the gross stuff. You get past those the first few shocks. The problem is It's a battle of endurance. You have to face the death of someone you love, but they haven't died yet... So you can't really grieve, but they're not really there either so you can't really be happy. It's emotionally exhausting beyond anything I could imagine.
I only do it a few days every week or other week and come back a complete wreck.
So why do I mention this? Because after going through this for a few months, I talked about it with a friend and umm.. we made a pact. I think it might be for the benefit of both of us and those we love. The inuit / 'eskimos' had the right idea, you know? All I'm gonna say. You get the picture.
I've thought about that, because I have zero interest in putting myself or my family through that. But the hardest thing, as far as I can tell, is figuring out the point to make that decision while still having the capacity to do so. It's like playing the stock market and watching number go up, and knowing when to sell before it tanks. I don't want to miss out on valuable time, but I also don't to go too long and miss out on the opportunity to end on my own terms.