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When my daughters were young the older one taught the younger one to say “my stomach hurts” when they didn’t like the food. I would show them videos of starving African kids, have them write a donation letter, and then they had to sit back at the table with cold food and eat what was served an hour ago.
They learned to be grateful QUICK. Some of those videos are BRUTAL.
I like how proud you are of being mildly abusive to your children.
How?
Found the participation trophy kid
lol
As though the topics are even remotely related.
Not a parent, eh?
If I don’t do it, someone who doesn’t love them will.
At least now they know what to look for and are incredibly well adjusted after 20 years. Good kids and they still call me ✅😁
If I don’t do it, someone who doesn’t love them will.
Actually, no. But it's clearly too late to matter, so you go ahead and comfort yourself with that thought.
How are you doing today? If you need someone to talk to, please reach out.
This is great advice for parents of children who literally get sick from eating broccoli
Before that I even tried to put them in the car, drive them to the hospital, and (kindly)threaten them with needles and surgery. I got all the way to the hospital before they quickly called my bluff… but magically their stomach didn’t hurt and they asked for McDonalds on the way home. Little shits 🙃
These kids literally get sick from eating broccoli, but fries and bacon are all good. Truly a miracle of science.
OK? Those don't literally taste like feces.
If your broccoli tastes like feces you're doing something terribly wrong along the way
No, it all tastes like that. Everybody's. Without exception.
Boiled ❎
Steamed ❎
Wok hey ❎
Tossed in 2tbs oil, paprika, garlic whatever, and Parmesan. Place on sheet tray and roast at 425F/218C° for 12-16 minutes and shake half way through. When dark spots start showing pull tray from the roaster and let rest for 1-2 minutes ✅
Ok so broccoli still sucks? This recipe works great with asparagus but I also add sliced almonds to the oil mix and toss it all together to roast.
Waste of garlic and parmesan.
It's hilarious how there's always someone who insists that I simply haven't had the right turd-tasting asshole trees.
Asparagus too?
Not quite as nasty as broccoli, and less of a problem since people don't try to stick it in everything and make it taste like feces.
Totally get it. The asparagus is excellent next to chicken or potatos. I’d highly recommend it as a replacement (nutritionally) for broccoli which is why I mention it here.
I can’t eat mushrooms unless they’re enoki or creamed. Otherwise the texture is awful. Won’t eat them and it’s hard for me to experiment.
My wife likes it when I marinate it in seasoned olive oil and vinegar, then grill it until it's crispy. I generously let her have it all.
I’m weird. I enjoy the raw broccoli and shitty ranch dressing veggie tray. You and I may never agree on these things, but that doesn’t mean we can’t agree on somethings. Just not shit, stop eating shit. No one should know what shit tastes like. Does not spark joy. Dangerous.