this post was submitted on 04 Jun 2026

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481

Absolute insanity (lemmy.world)

submitted 4 days ago by Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/lemmybewholesome@lemmy.world

43 comments fedilink hide all child comments

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/47733229

top 43 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 70 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Yeah, the whole 'I paid an insane amount of money for a shiny rock' thing is bonkers. Extravagant weddings too. You could have used that money towards the down payment for a house, or repairs, or to get a safer car, bought home solar/batteries, got a nicer bed/chair for comfort and protect your back, or even just stuck it in the bank as an emergency fund.

But no, almost all the people in this world are like 'shiny rock better, ooga booga'.

🐱 > 💍. Don't @ me.

[–] RVGamer06@sh.itjust.works 1 points 12 hours ago

[–] SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Having a cat is a commitment, though, so in the long run it's more expensive than a normal ring ... my engagement ring was very pretty, and IIRC it cost about 70€

I really don't understand spending zillions on one small piece of jewellery

[–] orca@orcas.enjoying.yachts 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)

My wife and I sat with a jeweler and built her ring for like $1200. She loves it and we had fun making it together. The jeweler said she loved making things for couples like us and never tried to push anything. It was a much more fun experience than simply handing her something she might not like.

[–] SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Oh, I picked out the engagement ring I was going to wear and my wife picked out hers - it wasn't just some random ring.

We both work with out hands a lot, so now we have them stashed away, covered in scratches and dents, which represent the years we were engaged.

She actually lost her ring for about a year and a half, and was crestfallen about it ... had it cost more than our car, that would have added insult to injury!

[–] orca@orcas.enjoying.yachts 2 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Stories like this are way better. That’s more memorable than simply buying a thing and handing it over. My wife and I spent very little on everything. I think my suit was the most expensive thing at like $500, and we got married in an arboretum park we love (we just showed up and did the thing with a small handful of folks). My ring was a plain, dirt cheap silver band. I love the scratches on it because they represent the journey.

Did she eventually find it? That just adds to the lore!

[–] SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

She did find it again, she was just randomly walking down the garden and there it was ... after we'd searched that area many many times, lol

And yes, we put more store by memories than monetary value. Our wedding was very cheap, too - we eloped, because coordinating people between 4 different countries to come together for a normal-size wedding would have been a pain

Anywho, I wish you a long and happy marriage, it sounds like it was built on solid foundations :-)

[–] orca@orcas.enjoying.yachts 3 points 3 days ago

Likewise, friend! My wife is my best friend and we spend 99% of our time together. We’re very grateful and have been together since 2015, married since December 2018 ❤️

[–] Bo7a@piefed.ca 29 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I proposed with a borrowed ring because I couldn't even afford a basic dollar store ring at the time.

Part of the added lore is how I faced my anxiety to go ask her great grandmother if I could borrow a ring, and then being lead through the old folks' home to meet a woman who was the mother of one of our country's most famous hockey players and telling her our story. Then borrowing the ring and receiving a letter on our wedding day that sadly the lady could not attend, but she wanted us to keep the ring...

So much better (for us) than something like "Yup here is 6 months of my salary in useless jewelry form".

We just had our 17th anniversary in May.

[–] rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

I didn't want to surprise my girlfriend with a ring she'd be obliged to wear, which may or may not have been something she'd have liked.

I proposed with a small brooch from my collection she liked, and a plain ring shape open on my screen in 3D design software. I suggested we could design our wedding rings together.

She said yes, and we shopped together for a diamond-free ring she liked and that was her engagement ring. She loaned me a cute ring from her collection which happened to fit me, and that was my engagement ring until the wedding.

Our wedding bands are comparatively-inexpensive 3D-printed silver rings which reflect our different tastes in jewelry on the outside and have matching inscriptions on the inside. Her wedding ring fits perfectly together with her engagement ring on the same finger, and that's how she likes wearing them. No expensive blood diamonds were ever involved, which suits us fine. Nobody else will ever have the same ring as us. If either of us lose or damage our ring, we still have the 3D file and can just get a new identical one printed.

We just celebrated our eighth anniversary yesterday.

[–] Bo7a@piefed.ca 6 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Thanks for sharing your story. This is the actual 'stuff of life' that matters.

[–] orca@orcas.enjoying.yachts 4 points 3 days ago

This is amazing. This is way more valuable than an expensive ass ring.

[–] Dettweiler42@lemmy.dbzer0.com 23 points 3 days ago (4 children)

Getting married is a quick, cheap process. Weddings and honeymoons are where people tend to spend more money than they should.

[–] coyootje@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago

The amount of upcharge on anything wedding or funeral related is honestly insane nowadays. Want to rent a space for a party? Sure, that'll be 2000 euros. Renting the same space for a wedding? Sure, that'll be 5000 euros, catering not included. Ridiculous.

[–] mnemonicmonkeys@sh.itjust.works 6 points 3 days ago

The diamon cartel spent years trying to convince everyone that engagement rings should cost X months of salary. Then they raised it to whatever bullshit number it is today.

Diamonds are actually stupid cheap, so all that inflated price goes straight to these assholes' profits. So I disagree, getting married is overpriced

[–] 87Six@lemmy.zip 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Don't you guys make money from weddings?

In my area it's standard practice that people have ro give you so much money at your wedding that you make a profit.

Nevermind how much the restaurant takes ofc...

[–] NightFantom@slrpnk.net 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Then you're just spending your loved ones' money, still a loss for you and yours.

[–] 87Six@lemmy.zip 2 points 3 days ago

Well yea I'm aware but what I'm saying is that it doesn't really cost the wedding couple anything... Not right away anyway, because then they'll have to spend money going to weddings for the people that came for them, I'm aware.

God I hate this practice btw.

[–] Flames5123@sh.itjust.works 1 points 3 days ago

If you’re extroverted, a wedding is worth it. It’s a time where all your extended family can gather and meet the other extended family, and possibly one of the biggest parties of your life. I had a blast. Our wedding planner kept asking if we were ready to go, but we stayed until the DJ left!

Also the honeymoon was a great way to start out our journey. We love traveling, and it was great to just have a week to relax after the stress of planning a wedding.

The one caveat I recognize is that we got lucky and didn’t have to pay from our own pockets for most of this. We also didn’t want to buy a house early on since we were going to move in a few years.

[–] blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 3 days ago

During lockdown, the couple's house we were stuck in proposed.

He used a ring made of foil.

They're still happily married and have started a family.

No need to spunk a few grand on a rock we've been brainwashed to think is valuable

[–] mysticpickle@lemmy.ca 23 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (3 children)

Lol does the dude commenting about debt not know how expensive it can be to raise a pet? I'm terms of pure monetary outlays, the kitten is likely to cost over $10k throughout it's lifespan. Maybe more I'd you build one of those wh40k golden thrones to animate its living corpse a bit longer.

If the guy proposing was truly concerned about money, he should have gotten her a nice mossanite ring. No one except a jeweler is gonna have the expertise or care to check anyways :o

[–] Solumbran@lemmy.world 26 points 4 days ago (2 children)

You can't compare the companionship of a pet, with carrying a rock on your hand. The ring costs money and brings absolutely nothing (and people in awe of the beauty of wedding rings are full of shit), the cat is a life that goes through existence with you for years.

You can't just compare a cost of life, with the cost of a stone, the two don't have the same value.

[–] mysticpickle@lemmy.ca 10 points 4 days ago

Yeah, cat > diamond ring in both emotional utility and actual monetary cost.

I was specifically pointing out that the comment about the ring putting them in more monetary debt than the cat is wrong. A 1-carat diamond ring is going to set you back a couple grand. The costs to raise a cat throughout its lifespan is very likely going to be several times larger than that.

[–] Jack@lemmy.ca 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)

cost of life

Should we save about 1.4 to 3.7 billion wild birds a year, by ending the pet cat industry?

[–] Solumbran@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

Yes because on top of the moral responsibility of humans over the behavior of cats, they are also destructive for the environment and keeping them out causes a lot of problems.

Ideally in a perfect world pets would either not be allowed of extremely limited anyway.

[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

Maybe more I’d you build one of those wh40k golden thrones to animate its living corpse a bit longer.

God Emperor Kitteh? I'm intrigued...

[–] MintyFresh@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Ya but if you get a 40k style throne, then you'll be forever scrounging up phyker kitties to sacrifice it. May as well just embrace the chaos kitties

[–] mysticpickle@lemmy.ca 2 points 3 days ago

It is a mighty sacrifice but the continued dominion of Kittykind demands it

[–] TehBamski@lemmy.world 21 points 4 days ago

Why Engagement Rings Are a Scam - Adam Ruins Everything

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5kWu1ifBGU

[–] z3rOR0ne@lemmy.ml 15 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Holy shit, I'm a standard every day cis dude and I'll be like the upteenth guy to say that is romantic AF. Good job man.

[–] MeatPilot@sh.itjust.works 12 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

I got married in a courthouse. The judge still insisted on doing a ring exchange because some family showed up.

She had a ring with emeralds which was way less expensive but meant something to us, my birth stone. I didn't have a ring at all, so he grabbed a rubber band from his desk and we used that.

We had no wedding, but to satisfy everyone we still had a reception. We rented a building that allowed alcohol for $50. Had some friends bartend for tips only and bought a bunch of booze, beer, wine on our own. We also hired a DJ for like $200-$300. Crock-Pot food. Family friend gave us a deal on cupcakes and a small cake.

All together I think we spent around $1,500 on all this, ring included. We couldn't afford anything else and anyway big showy weddings weren't for us. Still happily married getting close to our 20th anniversary.

[–] ITGuyLevi@programming.dev 2 points 3 days ago

Congratulations on 20 years, my wife and I hit that milestone just last year.

When we got married I had nothing, we had no rings, my nicest shirt (that I was planning on wearing to the courthouse) didn't even have sleeves. My wife's sister insisted on at least slightly better clothes and bought me a short sleeve button up shirt from Walmart.

We got a set of engraved silver rings for like $30 a few months later when we could afford them. Even though we've talked about getting nicer rings, I think I'll be wearing this one forever... Plain and cheap, but means more than any other possession I'll ever have.

[–] Atelopus-zeteki@fedia.io 1 points 3 days ago

Awesome start, AND 20 years together doesn't happen by accident.

[–] Th4tGuyII@fedia.io 15 points 4 days ago

Bottom guy has the right idea. I have never understood the idea of wanting a big and flashy engagement/wedding ring. It's a symbol of commitment you're meant to wear for life, not a fashion piece.

That kitten represents a huge amount of commitment, clearly more than enough for lucky lady, so the vain judgemental asses can STFU.

[–] timestatic@feddit.org 7 points 3 days ago

There are also decent cheap rings with artificial diamonds (that are better quality than the human slave labor ones). You just have to have this agreement with your partner, that overpaying for a bloody rock is in no way sense or form beneficial and you could do much better things with the rest of the money for the two of you.

[–] YeahIgotskills2@lemmy.world 7 points 4 days ago (1 children)

And if she says no...probably best not to think about it 🫣

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 4 days ago

Because of the implication

[–] AwesomeLowlander@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I hope it's not a matter of actually not being able to afford the ring, because there's no way a cat's cheaper when you factor in ongoing costs.

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 3 days ago

It is when you do a cost-benefit analysis including your health and wellbeing rather than just a cost to cost comparison 😁

[–] Melobol@lemmy.ml 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I mean in the past there was a point in expensive rings. But since, times changed and marketing got more insane.
Engagement rings were basically insurance for the ladies - because it actually hurt to have an engagement broken. Damage to reputation could meant literal starvation.

[–] starlinguk@lemmy.world -1 points 4 days ago (2 children)

In the past engagement rings weren't a thing.

[–] Magikjak@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago

Engagement rings have been a thing for almost two thousand years. You’re probably thinking of diamond engagement rings, which have been around since The Renaissance but weren’t widely popularised until De Beers started pushing them in 1938.

[–] Melobol@lemmy.ml 2 points 3 days ago

They were. Just not for the poor. The poor just got married and be done. Worst case: they sold the girl for a goat or so, and that's it.