this post was submitted on 06 Jun 2026
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Today I Learned

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[–] olafurp@lemmy.world 6 points 8 hours ago

Had a sinus congestion, rubbed one out, gone. Shit works.

[–] smh@slrpnk.net 4 points 8 hours ago

LPT: using a small vibrator on your sinuses can also help. It loosens the mucus up like shaking ketchup in a bottle.

[–] ProdigiousInsanity@lemmus.org 15 points 12 hours ago

Reminds me of my ex that would regularly need me to assist her with her stuffy nose as she had already discovered this effect. Do I ever miss that dusty apartment.

[–] Regrettable_incident@lemmy.world 14 points 19 hours ago

Wank your way to wellness.

[–] quick_snail@feddit.nl 8 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Too bad it doesn't work to stop my partner from snoring

[–] stoicmaverick@lemmy.world 16 points 22 hours ago

I find that, if I just get up and jerk off in the basement, I can't hear it for a while.

[–] kadotux@sopuli.xyz 26 points 1 day ago (2 children)

There's this old Finnish saying: "Nuha lähtee nussimalla" which translates roughly to "Fucking gets rid of flu". Guess there's some truth to that, then.

[–] Squirrelanna@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 6 hours ago

Orgasm via zebra stampede was not tested in the study, therefore it cannot be asserted that this method has the same result.

[–] stoicmaverick@lemmy.world 3 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Is that to be understood verbatim, or is it a euphemism for something?

[–] kadotux@sopuli.xyz 5 points 21 hours ago

It's to be understood verbatim AFAIK :D

[–] owsei@programming.dev 71 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Oh yeah!

Before I had septum surgery and I'd get constant congestion I thought that jerking off actually helped me to breath better. Honestly I actually thought it was placebo, nut apparently not!

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 70 points 1 day ago (2 children)
[–] owsei@programming.dev 22 points 1 day ago

lmao I won't edit it

[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Hey! I remember you from a former life on reddit or lemmy or stackoverflow or something, and always thought of you as a decent person. Good to see you on lemmy.

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Either Lemmy or reddit. I think we've talked here a few times. How've you been?

[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

All good, new job, nice colleagues, supportive boss, fun car. You?

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 2 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

That's awesome! I'm glad you're doing well! 😊

[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 2 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

Hope you have a happier and better year than ever before.

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 1 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

I appreciate that a lot! Right now is more just about coping, to be honest, but I'll get to equilibrium eventually haha

[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 2 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Well, I think you're someone who is thoughtful and you put good into the world, and I hope a truck load of good comes right back into your life.

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 2 points 5 hours ago

Aww. That's very sweet. Thank you <3

[–] slickgoat@lemmy.world 21 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Why not write orgasm relieves sinus congestion? Do we need to codify how orgasm arrives? What about a stampede of angry zebras? That usually does the trick for me

[–] stoicmaverick@lemmy.world 2 points 22 hours ago

Because it doesn't work on Furries.

[–] Patnou@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

If a stampede of zebra's gets you off more power to you.

[–] psx_crab@lemmy.zip 86 points 1 day ago (6 children)

Shit, this can be my solution to my long term cat allergy, but i gonna collect more data on that.

[–] Melonpoly@lemmy.world 64 points 1 day ago

Hope relief cums quickly

[–] certified_expert@lemmy.world 37 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Ask for the cat's consent fist

[–] swab148@lemmy.dbzer0.com 51 points 1 day ago (4 children)
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[–] baronvonj@piefed.social 49 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It's amazing how well your body can turn off pains and symptoms just because "might be mating!"

[–] FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Have to look presentable! Be on top form!

[–] Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca 12 points 1 day ago

Or bottom, we don't judge here. Y'all do you

[–] victorz@lemmy.world 18 points 1 day ago

My gosh. Imagine how fucking congested I would be.

[–] cupcakezealot@piefed.blahaj.zone 21 points 1 day ago (6 children)

i can get my vibrator covered by insurance to cure migraines.

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[–] SethTaylor@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Gives a whole new meaning to "unclogging those pipes"

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[–] Katana314@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

(He walks in, wearing an un-flattering speedo)
"Hey, babe. You ready for a good time?"
"Oh. God. Honey...please, not now, I have a splitting headache. I've had this stuffed up nose and it feels like I haven't been getting enough air all day."
"I have good news for you, and great news for me."

[–] Patnou@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I can get rid of it in 30 seconds ;)

[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 1 points 8 hours ago

That is a bold claim.

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 21 points 1 day ago

You should find a place where nobody can see you first, though. Don't ask me how I know

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