bourgeoisie will make you depressed and they will profit off from it. I've been into same thoughts comrade. You can retreat, be defeated, exhausted. Instead of searching happiness or trying to be act in a way search for a struggle than you can defeat.
We all wants to live a simple life like all others do but we have a historical duty to prepare these material conditions for all of us.
We don't have an other option than organizing. Find, comrades like yourself and struggle for overthrowing this child murderer billionaire class.