I'd be sold by the last three.
this post was submitted on 11 Jul 2026
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okmatewanker
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No foul language - i.e. French ๐คฎ
Obviously satire, dozy wankers
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TIL Adele knows sign language
Well, yeah. I mean, how else is she going to sell albums to deaf people?
"Cut your taxes, raise everyone else's"
Surely better to make it so that each time you are caught breaking the highway code, the number of wheels you are allowed to have reduces by 1.
The demand for pogo sticks is going to skyrocket
Once you're down to 1, just reduce the allowed size of the wheel. If you're capable of breaking the highway code significantly on a 1" diameter unicycle, I'd be more impressed than annoyed.
Reliant Robin about to have a major comeback.
He started writing a joke manifesto and got more serious the further he went.
Punishing public speakerphone users and getting trains that work? Heโd win in Germany.
Iโd vote for him!
Though Germans do have some questionable taste in their candidates.
Half the country has forgotten how bad it was living in the GDR. The rest are just racists, like apparently most of the rest of the world.
Pattern recognition ain't racism
Build at least one affordable house.
See this is why his crazy campaign will never work.
No no, he said at least, so you never know, he might even build two! Itโs all the fun of gambling!
I don't know that might be too many.
Lmao I read "the binance manifesto" and read along and was like "that sounds a lot like count binface... Oh wait"
What about that hand dryer? Did he drop his most important point? Bloody sell-out!
He actually signed a treaty with the pub agreeing to move it if he gets elected.ย
Not in office yet, and he's already done more than Farage.
Count Binface for PM!
The pub lobby got to him. Sad to see, really.
What a waste.
I present to you, the 2026 Count Binface Manifesto as presented in Ceefax style teletext:
Word of warning: including the parameter at the end (?is=...) identifies your YouTube account and pops up a "Shared by 4am" thing when opened in YouTube. You might not care, just letting you know.
The popup is not the only effect, if you open it while logged into your account they are able to update your social graph
Idk why it's so small, but I can't find a bigger version. If you click on it, it should expand
Nice example link.
More reasonable and less damaging than Farage's politics of abject hate and corruption.
Can military conscription apply to apps that force you to use speakerphone, not the people forced to use speakerphone?
There are apps that force you to use speakerphone? O.O
indirectly, yes. Whatsapp, for example. You either use speakerphone or you have separate headphones. You can't just use it like a normal phone.
What? What a ludicrous thing to say.
I don't know what Ceefax is, but the rest sounds good.
It was like browsing a plain text internet through a television. Data was quite literally received through the same antenna as the TV programmes.
Not just through the antenna, it was literally a part of the video signal. Was in the 13 (I think) lines after the sync but before any image. If you have a VHS recorded from British Tele, you can actually use that to view it (depending on the quality of the tape.)
Huh. Neat.
Also, Adele isn't a signer, as far as I know.
She fucken will be under the rule of Count Binface
Perhaps a sinner?
She doesnโt look like a Pet Shop Boy, but who knows?
I'm pretty sure he meant seiner.
Okay, pretty based for the most part.
What, no pony?
Points are living breathing creatures deserving of respect and proper care. If you want to see animals abused, it's a Farage vote for you.
It's a reference to Vermin Supreme who made a satirical bid for US president in multiple elections.
One of his main promises was to give every american a pony, and when asked about it he said something to the effect of "It won't require that many ponies, because I'll just kill most americans first"
I agree though that he's closer to a Farage, especially since he called himself a self-proclaimed fascist. His satire was in being such a bad candidate that it highlighted the general buffoonery of US elections.
So yeah, Binface is different because while he's still satirical, his satire is more in line with things people would generally want but taking them to an absurd degree. So I guess Vermin Supreme wasn't really that comparable...
My reply was meant as a semi satirical one. Rereading it, it might have been harsher than intended. ๐
Nah, I didn't take it personally. Times are tense and I wouldn't hesitate to be harsh with someone I thought was a supporter of Farage or any other fascist politician or party