this post was submitted on 12 Jul 2026
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Breaking News: LIVE. Due to a decrease in cookie sales, the Girl Scouts switch to a more aggressive sales campaign. TVN Exclusive

e: real news report, they mixed up the chyron

top 22 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 18 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

That’s their lesser-known offshoot, Girl Special Forces

[–] Dpek@lemmy.zip 10 points 5 days ago

Ive heared they are planning for a even more agressive sales campaign

Something about "long range ,high speed air to ground cookie delivery"

[–] OwOarchist@pawb.social 10 points 5 days ago (3 children)

They don't even go door-to-door anymore, not in my area at least.

They always just set up camp in the parking lot outside some store ... usually a store that also sells cookies, cheaper ones with more variety.

[–] hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Probably a safety related change

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 1 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Yeah they haven’t gone door to door in decades where I live. I can’t remember is they ever did actually.

Sometimes at work a Girl Scout parent will ask you to buy some. I remember buying cans of nuts though, not cookies. And yeah they set up a little table by the entrance to a grocery store. Some people say they like certain types of their cookies, which they apparently can’t get at the grocery store which also sells many cookies. I don’t like cookies and so I don’t know shit about cookies. But that’s where they sell them.

[–] proudblond@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago (2 children)

My brother sold nuts through Boy Scouts, and they now call themselves Scouting America so that girls can be involved, so maybe that’s where the nuts came from? I don’t think I’ve heard of any Girl Scout troop not selling cookies; it’s a big deal and the main fundraising for activities. Unfortunately.

[–] OwOarchist@pawb.social 3 points 4 days ago

Yay child labor?

[–] deo@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 4 days ago

My mom is an accountant, used to do auditing for the state. The leader of my girl scout troop asked her to be the treasurer of the troop one year. Turn out, the leader had been embezzling our cookie money, like, the whole time. It wasn't even well covered-up. Took my mom all of two seconds to figure it out.

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 4 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

I saw a flyer with a QR code on it to order girl scout cookies.

[–] OwOarchist@pawb.social 4 points 4 days ago

At this point, I think the girls are kind of unnecessary in their whole cookie-selling business and could probably be replaced by AI agents.

[–] helpImTrappedOnline@lemmy.world 4 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Yeah, I wouldn't want to send a bunch of girls door to door in America these days.

Beside the whole free labor issue, it only takes 1 sicko to ruin everything.....

[–] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 6 points 4 days ago

Can confirm. My daughter just got her M4A1 badge and a "broom" badge for learning how to sweep the perimeter.

[–] Rivermoonwolf@lemmy.world 7 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Christ, I'll buy the cookies already. Ya got Thin Mints?

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 9 points 4 days ago

Nah, miss me with that. Call me when they turn into Women Scouts and got those Thicc Mints. Mmm...

[–] hakunawazo@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago
[–] robocall@lemmy.world 4 points 4 days ago

I support supporting girl scouts and their fundraising, but I don't want high calorie, unhealthy cookies. The cookies make me feel sugar sick.

[–] 5wim@infosec.pub 4 points 4 days ago (2 children)

"aggressive" is missing a "g." News makes spelling mistakes, memers make more, dunno

[–] xav@programming.dev 3 points 4 days ago

Did you see it also misses an "s" ?

[–] LillyPip@lemmy.ca 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

You may be right.it was in a collection of headline mistakes, and this is shitpost, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[–] 5wim@infosec.pub 3 points 4 days ago

You're a real one o7

[–] save_the_humans@leminal.space 3 points 4 days ago

No one wants to be a girl scout anymore. They aren't willing to put on their boots and go door to door with an m16 and threaten people anymore. This ain't no socialist cookie. You have to be willing to do the hard work.

[–] Truscape@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 4 days ago

FPV cookie delivery when?