They use a device called a Perry Gordan Measurement Device. Named after the two people who invented it. It looks a little like a bowling bag with a fleshlight stuck in it. A volunteer is provided with the erotic material of their choosing to help them achieve erect state and then the subject inserts themself into the fleshlight part and until they ejaculate within the machine. At which point sensitive photo voltaics and micro lasers are used to measure the speed with military accuracy. Or not. Cheers!
this post was submitted on 28 Jul 2026
-16 points (19.2% liked)
No Stupid Questions
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The real question is how fast Superman's jizz jazzes, or pick omniman if you prefer. Any hyper powerful ejaculating entity, really.
Because, if you think about a bolus of spunk flying at supersonic speeds, you get great death metal song...
Came from an alien star Came to bend you over a bar.
Dna not a factor, balls a nuclear reactor
Taking all your women Filling them with semen
I come, she dies, I come, she dies, I come, she dies, I come!
Super powered jets of white, filling you up with spite
Giant, throbbing cock of might; Slamming your wife all damn night.
Ramming your children too, object and I'll fuck you
You die, I come, you die, I come, you die, I come, you die!
Spreading our race across the galaxy, conquest by spreading seed.
Our weapon lethal ejaculation, Killing by insemination
Superior jizm, final cataclysm!
You die, I come, you die, I come, you die, I come, you die, I come, you die, I come, you die, I come, you die!
They did that with Hancock. He shoots through the roof of a building.
Tiny radar guns.
Just distance divided by time.
By taking Usain Bolts 100m sprint time and computing his speed.
Edit: you probably can just measure velocity easily with a camera. Or by taking the trajectory. Gonna have to do a source search which is a whole lot of work to find out. Or ask claudé