this post was submitted on 30 Jul 2026
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I just got home from a REALLY long road trip that went kind of sideways and discovered a bunch of dudes in my house claiming I was dead so they could try and get with my wife. (hexbear.net)
submitted 1 day ago by ConcreteHalloween@hexbear.net to c/chat@hexbear.net
25 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

They also totally cleaned out my fridge and drank all my beer.

I am SO pissed right now, I'm thinking about doing something kind of dramatic.

top 25 comments
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[–] homhom9000@hexbear.net 15 points 22 hours ago

Since ancient times its been noble to make moves on your buddys wife when he goes off to war.

[–] CloutAtlas@hexbear.net 13 points 21 hours ago

[–] theperfidiousOrbweaver@hexbear.net 12 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 22 hours ago)

It would be really, really interesting if you got lots of action on the trip while your wife couldn't even dream of moving on.

feral-hog oh, how did this get here?

[–] buckykat@hexbear.net 21 points 1 day ago (1 children)

This you?

[–] SchillMenaker@hexbear.net 4 points 22 hours ago

I wish(bone)

[–] Carl@hexbear.net 9 points 21 hours ago

just walk in the front door expecting a hero's welcome. I'm sure they will respect the fact that you've returned and go back to their homes peacefully.

[–] Big@hexbear.net 18 points 1 day ago

Bro I told you it would be better to just stay with that hot weird girl named after the lemonade punch.

[–] abc@hexbear.net 21 points 1 day ago

PLEASE check on your pets!!!

[–] HarryLime@hexbear.net 26 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Hey, on your trip did you see or hear anything about some peoples going across the sea, raiding and fighting and collapsing of our age of bronze?

[–] ConcreteHalloween@hexbear.net 20 points 1 day ago

UHHHHH, I definitely did NOT see and raiding and pillaging. If you have any other questions I should call my lawyer.

[–] Le_Wokisme@hexbear.net 5 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

did you hear any good music on the trip?

[–] ConcreteHalloween@hexbear.net 3 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Yeah actually have you heard of a band called Sirens?

[–] Le_Wokisme@hexbear.net 3 points 19 hours ago

i asked around and nobody has heard them

[–] robot_dog_with_gun@hexbear.net 22 points 1 day ago (1 children)

how useless is your son?

[–] ConcreteHalloween@hexbear.net 18 points 1 day ago

Well... he's a good kid but...

[–] Dort_Owl@hexbear.net 17 points 1 day ago

For the love of god don't dry fire your bow in front of them to look cool. That shit will ruin your bow.

[–] Kefla@hexbear.net 13 points 1 day ago

YTA kings get the guillotine gui

[–] GenderIsOpSec@hexbear.net 19 points 1 day ago (1 children)

have you tried stringing the bow and shooting an arrow through some axeheads? kbity

[–] ConcreteHalloween@hexbear.net 19 points 1 day ago

Oh shit yeah I got a bow and some axes in my garage, that will show these assholes!

[–] peeonyou@hexbear.net 15 points 1 day ago

ngl i thought this was badpost or something.. wasn't expecting this to be for real

[–] LaughingLion@hexbear.net 3 points 21 hours ago

this shit always be happenin

[–] raspberry_confetti@lemmy.ml 12 points 1 day ago

Sounds like it would make for a dope movie

[–] TheLastHero@hexbear.net 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

multiple dudes??? Were they calling for backup or something?

[–] raspberry_confetti@lemmy.ml 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It was a train, and we all know trains are based and cool, unlike cars

[–] Pentacat@hexbear.net 8 points 1 day ago

Lots of respectable people’ve been hit by trains.