298
I always knew Karl Marx and Freddy Pringles were fake communists.
It makes my heart glad that all the innocent lambs were able to come together to shank the big bad wolf.
Honestly that's a pretty decent visual joke, but from a re-election standpoint he probably shouldn't be drawing attention to how he's old as fuck.
If your nihilism doesn't make you happy, you're doing it wrong. The absence of meaning should be a liberating factor, not a limiting one. It's actually dope as fuck that there's no greater purpose to your life, you can never fail as a person when there's no standard you feel you have to meet.
A lot of bougies are building their doomsday bunkers in New Zealand, so based on that alone I'd guess NZ is safe. Then again, if the wealthy are good at anything it's being very confidently wrong, so maybe not.
The overwhelming majority of car accidents are caused by people with driver's licenses, so having one obviously makes you a worse driver.
A sugary tortilla is not a pancake, it doesn't matter if you give it a goofy French name. Cakes have girth.
The alternative is admitting that they had a complete meltdown over a balloon. People can force themselves to believe basically anything if it can save them the embarrassment of admitting they were enthusiastically wrong.
Thankfully it was only a warship, if it was a balloon things might have gotten serious.
You can see the dino-ancestry of birds if you look at a chicken's feet.
38
A tragedy of Hexbear being a product of the modern era
(hexbear.net)
When we get popular enough to start inspiring feature-length porn parodies, we'll get stuck with a bullshit title like 'Hexbear: A XXX Parody' when 'Sexbear' or 'Hexxxbear' are right there.
1
How do I incorporate hair ribbons into my look without looking like I'm doing Founding Fathers' cosplay?
(hexbear.net)
I've got long, wavy hair that I'm trying to figure out what to do with. I already had my manbun phase nearly a decade ago, and settling for a plain, unadorned ponytail is more than a bit gauche. I've been thinking of putting a nice silk ribbon in there, but I'm worried that instead of looking like a modern man who doesn't feel threatened by wearing traditionally feminine accessories, that I'll instead just look like some sort of colonial re-enactor. I'm trying to find examples of manly men with hair ribbons and I'm coming up with absolutely nothing. Does anyone have suggestions for what I should be going for?
21
A meditation on the proliferation of Mommy Dommes
(hexbear.net)
I've been thinking about the steady increase of porno involving siblings, parents, or some sort of parental substitute (sexy teacher, lascivious nanny, etc). I'm convinced that this is the result of further atomization under capitalism. As social relations and active participation in community continue to degrade, essentially the only people you will have any sort of meaningful connection to will be your immediate family.
If you're lucky you picked up some friends at school and got along well with your co-workers, but it's very likely that you have no emotional ties or experienced any sort of physicality with anybody outside of who you grew up with. Of course you're going to end up horny for Daddy when everyone outside of the nuclear family is basically an alien that you're incapable of feeling any sort of connection to.
Somebody's probably thought about this more than I have, but I don't feel like I'm off-base in saying that incest increases in popularity as everyone's social circles continue to contract. Or maybe Freud was right and people have always wanted to fuck their moms, I don't know.
1
Is there any way to leave Heaven?
(hexbear.net)
I'm not trying to be an asshole here. I'm sure I would love to gaze upon the Presence and Glory of God for, say, 1,000,000 years or so, but nothing stays exciting forever. How do I politely tell God that I want to go for that Buddhist final death thing?
0
I'm pretty sure I'd make a pretty bang-up pet psychic. I'm good with reading the body language of most legal house pets, and telling people what they want to hear. I think I could offer genuinely good advice enough times that I could justify what I'm doing and how much I'm charging for it.
AssaultRifle15
joined 4 years ago
The biggest warcrime on display here is that hair, am I right, ladies?