Which will be struck down almost unanimously because the US government is a cesspool of liches and ghouls.

People aren’t laughing at you because you’re Christian in Texas you morons, they’re laughing at you because you think you’re being persecuted for your religion when you live somewhere where 80 percent of the population is Christian.

Imma just be pissed if her tiddies ain’t triangles.

I think a lot of profiles like this are combinations of fake accounts for jokes and mean personalized prank attacks on people.

Taking some girl from your schools Facebook picture with her dad and putting it on tinder to make it look like you’re fucking your dad sounds exactly like something a mean high school kid would do to someone else.

I hate to break it to you but your homies were already fucking weirdos for having a waifu, had nothing to do with you son.

How disappointed we will all be when all the boomers are dead and it doesn’t solve any of our problems.

No ethical billionaires. Nobody comes by that much money honestly.

I don’t give a fuck about being remembered. I just wanna enjoy my time while I’m here.

So far, it’s not going great.

My wife is very superstitious and I have never believed in ghosts or anything like that. Aliens, ghosts, magic, religions, totally confident that they aren’t real. When she told me she heard a weird voice calling her name one night I was incredibly skeptical and told her she was definitely dreaming because we live nowhere near anybody and it was -30 that night.

I am never gonna tell her I heard the voice too.

We are entering dark fucking times when Mitt Fucking Romney is becoming the voice of reason in the American political landscape.

As someone who lives in red deer, yup, sounds about right.

My fellow Red Deerians are political illiterates. My one friend works in admin for schools here. Or at least, she used to, but she lost her job after the party she furiously badgered everyone to vote for got in and cut the funding at her school, targeting administrators. Which they ran on.

It was the most Red Deer thing I ever saw.

Dude flirts like a 12 year old who just got killed on modern warfare.