instead of blaming all their problems and all the world’s problems on women and feminists
Sometimes it is their fault. Protests against equal custody laws, for example. Kentucky was the first state to pass one that required the judge in contested custody cases to start from the position that equal custody is best for the child unless there is a reason it might not be. The closest other states had gotten before that were laws that required judges "consider" equal custody as a possibility, as opposed to having to work from it as a starting point.
Ever seen the Big Red angry feminist meme? She's a real person from Toronto and the meme started because she was protesting a talk on suicide in men at the University of Toronto by shouting a Jezebel article at the crowd, and if anyone tried to engage with her yelling "shut up fuckface!" or similar at them. A few different phrasings but she was fond of "fuckface" as an insult in particular. If you check out The Red Pill documentary (it's creator did a Kickstarter to fund finishing it) one of the interviews is of Big Red herself.
The organization behind that talk on suicide in men later went on to found what at the time (and possibly still is though I haven't checked) the only shelter for male victims of abuse in Canada.
Not the first such shelter, as that was Men's Alternative Safe Housing which was founded by Earl Silverman and had to be run entirely on his own resources and private donations because he couldn't get government funding for it because it was a men's shelter and not a women's shelter. Eventually he couldn't afford to keep it going, and when he had to shut it down hung himself in the garage of his now-defunct shelter the day after he sold it.
I'd argue patriarchy is a bad model for the social dynamics regarding sex. It's just another rebranding of Marxist class conflict onto something other than economic class, and as a consequence it works about as well as that something actually resembles (or alternately is a proxy for) economic class. This means it works OK for race in the US (except for Asians, who get to be functionally white in some cases) but it it's a bad fit for sex.
It's why there are so many apologetics around patriarchy for all the myriad cases where reality just doesn't seem to align with what you would expect based on it a priori. "The patriarchy hurts men too" is probably the most common, though you'd be hard pressed to argue "Capitalism hurts billionaires too" or "white supremacy hurts whites too" in the same kind of fashion. Because the moment you stop looking at the fraction of a percent of the top performers the idea that society was created by and for men to benefit men above women first and foremost just doesn't align with observation.
What seems to be a more fitting model to me is malagency, the idea that agency is inappropriately assigned based on the sex of the party in question. Specifically that in general women are assumed to have less agency than they otherwise might while men are assumed to have more agency than they otherwise might. This fits neatly with lots of observations - ideas presented by a man being given extra credit or consideration than the same coming from a woman (because he's seen as more responsible for his ideas than a woman might be), the very highest tiers of things having over-representation by men but also when men are also over-represented at the bottom (for example, rough sleeping homeless) because they are seen as more responsible for their own successes and failures as well, or why the criminal justice system treats men much worse than women (women are seen as less responsible for their transgressions). Etc, etc.