Like a Renaissance fair, but earlier

I was at a zoo at a guided feeding of chimpanzees. The wuide showed us by example, that the apes were way better at aiming than him, and If you give them a food they don't like, you should wear a helmet, AS they Hit your face with a cabbage from 30m away.

Because for the standard conservative there are only two genders, Penis and Baby-Machine

Wir lernen heute, wie man einen Brief schreibt:

"Sehr geehrte Herren,"

Damen darf man nicht mehr anschreiben bei den Katholiban

You spelled assassinate wrong, dude

and because of an attitude like this, my family wil never buy anything from nintendo again.

But the rich can avoid the tap water...

"Stop forbidding us to poison poor people!"

Here is a comprehensive Guide how to do [x]:

{20 paragraphs of Background Story}

[x] is Impossible to do, you dumbfuck

Time for the monkey defense force...

Get that dart towers ready

"Thieve's Guild calls for homeowners to take actions against door lock rollout"

TIL that a yearly Ticket for NY costs over 1500$ whereas a yearly Ticket for the whole of Germany costs 588€... Seems legit...