dannoffs

joined 2 years ago
[–] dannoffs@hexbear.net 3 points 3 days ago

The craziest political surprise in the last 20 years is still that Corn Pop was real.

[–] dannoffs@hexbear.net 25 points 4 days ago

Saccharomyces cerevisiae consuming sugars: Amazing, remove any guidance on restriction of that.

Xanthomonas campestris consuming sugars: Woke, possibly also gay.

[–] dannoffs@hexbear.net 1 points 4 days ago

It's hard to find competitive eating results for anything other than the Nathan's hotdog contest from before 2000 but everything I can find points to the pickle thing being true. He verifiably came in 3rd in the 1994 Nathan's hot dog contest, and emceed the 2002 pickle contest as a "former champion." The story about the deli guy telling him to compete is almost certainly made up though, since it changes every time he tells it.

The mafia hit also seems real, Gotti was tried 4 times on it and it was pretty much accepted during those that he had ordered the hit but was able to convince enough jurors that he had left the mafia before 1999 making the 2004 trial past the statute of limitation.

Also this lmao:

[–] dannoffs@hexbear.net 58 points 5 days ago (4 children)

Imagine getting dunked on by a dumb robot

[–] dannoffs@hexbear.net 34 points 5 days ago (1 children)
 

He also wears a little red beret everywhere and has been divorce 4 times lmao

[–] dannoffs@hexbear.net 11 points 5 days ago

I can't believe he turned that kid from Newsies into Tom Hanks and can still be mayor.

[–] dannoffs@hexbear.net 10 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Playing Mambo Italiano by Gérard Darmon

https://youtu.be/QGnh0q4RuQ8

[–] dannoffs@hexbear.net 34 points 6 days ago (4 children)

He's gaba'd his last gool.

[–] dannoffs@hexbear.net 14 points 6 days ago (3 children)

It's the Democratic primary, the general still has to happen. It was basically assumed that the Democratic nominee would win the general.

[–] dannoffs@hexbear.net 22 points 6 days ago

It's at 85% reporting now and the numbers are pretty much the same.

[–] dannoffs@hexbear.net 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'm house/dog sitting for my sister in Las Vegas all week and I didn't want to bring a bunch of stuff with me so I set up ps2 emulation on my phone and it's a complete game changer. I'm switching between Lord of the Rings: The Third Age, Black, and Legend of Kay.

Bonus old dog picture:

 
 

https://archive.is/tpP1m

Finally we can tackle the menace of the wokest organ, the liver.

 

https://xcancel.com/TaylorLorenz/status/1934661884046921876

Every day we stray further from the light of Allah

 
 
 
 
 

Ding dang ding and a ding dong

 
 
 

A rat done bit my sister Nell

With whitey on the moon

Her face and arms began to swell

And whitey's on the moon

I can't pay no doctor bills

But whitey's on the moon

Ten years from now I'll be payin' still

While whitey's on the moon

The man just upped my rent last night

Cause whitey's on the moon

No hot water, no toilets, no lights

But whitey's on the moon

I wonder why he's upping me?

Cause whitey's on the moon?

Well I was already giving him fifty a week

With whitey on the moon

Taxes taking my whole damn check

Junkies making me a nervous wreck

The price of food is going up

And as if all that shit wasn't enough:

A rat done bit my sister Nell

With whitey on the moon

Her face and arm began to swell

And whitey's on the moon

Was all that money I made last year

For whitey on the moon?

How come I ain't got no money here?

Hmm! Whitey's on the moon

Y'know I just 'bout had my fill

Of whitey on the moon

I think I'll send these doctor bills

Airmail special

To whitey on the moon

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