badposting

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badposting is a comm where you post badly


This is not a !the_dunk_tank@hexbear.net alternative. This is not a !memes@hexbear.net alternative. This is a place for you to post your bad posts.

Ever had a really shitty bit idea? Joke you want to take way past the point of where it was funny? Want to feel like a stand-up comedy guy who's been bombing a set for the past 30 minutes straight and at this point is just saying shit to see if people react to it? Really bad pun? A homemade cringe concoction? A cognitohazard that you have birthed into this world and have an urge to spread like chain mail?


Rules:

  1. Do not post good posts.
    • Unauthorized goodposting is to be punished in the manner of commenting the phrase "GOOD post" followed by an emoji that has not yet been used in the thread
    • Use an emoticon/kaomoji/rule-three-abiding ASCII art if the rations run out
  2. This is not a comm where you direct people to other people's bad posts. This is a comm where you post badly.
  3. This rule intentionally left blank.
  4. If you're struck for rule 3, skill issue, not allowed to complain about it.

Code of Conduct applies just as much here as it does everywhere else. Technically, CoC violations are bad posts. On the other hand: L + ratio + get ~~better~~ worse material bozo

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When metaphysicians wish to persuade a naturalist that the intellectual and emotional life of man unfolds according to “the inherent laws of the Spirit,” the naturalist shrugs his shoulders and continues his patient study of the phenomena of life, of intelligence, and of emotions in order to prove that all can be reduced to physical and chemical phenomena. He seeks to discover their natural laws.

a meme: a tiger roars at a smug anthropromorphized monkey, who has its hand at its own chin, stoically reacting to the tiger's anger

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beanis le-monke

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I turn on the kitchen light in the middle of the night and a cockroach is already there and that fucker just stares at me, isn't even afraid. Being a landlord is a thankless struggle.

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He's going to make TRANS and ANTIFA come into the world and be mean to Mr. President Donald J. Trump on TRUTHSOCIAL.

I need you all to pray to JESUS right now and will away this wicked devil worshiping Spaniard.

Thank you and GOD BLESS

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Is it good marketing to name your food with the most ugly english sounds imaginable?

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Thought came to me while I was stirring a pot. There's so many ways people get into "you don't have to eat vegetables". I assume you start there and work backwards honestly.

Off the top of my head, there's:

  • I'm a rich dipshit showing the poors how to eat cheap (it never includes vegetables)
  • eating vegetables is gay but carbs are fine (the your da diet)
  • eating anything but meat is gay
  • eating carbs of any kind is bad (keto)
  • appeal to ancestral diets (I imagine my forefathers only ate hunted deer and berries)
  • incredibly idosyncretic appeal to ancestral diets (I imagine my specific family ancestors ate only t-bones from wild aurochs)
  • esoteric woo-woo-hippyism about how onions de-align your chakra
  • vegetables are singularily too expensive (excluding food deserts don't @ me)
  • vegetables are too time consuming to eat
  • I'm "allergic" to vegetables (my diet is so out of whack I can't process fiber anymore) (excluding actual medical conditions don't @ me)
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I'm a heap You're a heap They're a heap We're all heaps yeah!

Welcome to HeapBurger home of the HeapBurger, can I take your order?

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this

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I'm thinking... 5000, at most. And a good portion of those will be lefties dunking on it.

Bonus question: what will Charlie Kirk say about it?

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faaaaaaarrrrrrtttttttt

Haha just kidding dude. Pass the doritos!

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I know i know but i hope you can still love me and overcome my sick perversions

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I just thought you should know

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"So why is it when, someone takes a shit in a toilet, nobody cares, but when you shit in a public swimming pool, EVERYONE STARTS LOSING THEIR MINDS?!?!?!"

"Well Joker that's cuz poop is unsanitary and people swim in a pool, nobody swims in a toilet cuz it's designed to remove human waste."

"SOCIETY!"

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I have preteen and early teen niblings. I said 67 and did the hand thing around xmas. The looks I got were VENOMOUS and they said "Uncle Garbodor, never say that again."

Thank you for your attention to this matter

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My wife won't sleep with me anymore.

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