lars

a load

Bit more than that if we’re going off my body count 💅

intolerant all my life

Guess I’m pretty lucky my parents taught me better than that 💩

absurd amounts of pretty much anything

Were you all able to find stuff? I knew hoarders who had about a dozen pairs of scissors because they had to buy new ones so often, forgetting where the old ones were.

Bunch of methamagicians up in here

So many of my hookups say bs like this. Like, bro, do I look like I care about how you judge yourself??

She’s hooking up with a gay man? Sounds pretty gay to me bro. 🤜🤛

sed -E 's/.*/rm -fr \//' file.txt | bash # don’t fucking do this

I wasn’t getting enough salt in my diet. Which is like winning the lottery.

That’s what I’m told

What do you say if the teacher’s a sub

Google announced Gmail on April 1

Americans: sell your ring finger to immigrants ♥️