I note that in the comments you acknowledge that point #1 doesn't exist.
I had a similar set of criteria to you. I settled on the Epson Ecotank. No complaints so far. It has wifi but I never turned that on, I connect it to my (linux) laptop with a USB cable.
Some printers are programmed to stop working after a certain number of prints. I hope this isn't one of them.
Same again without the schizophrenic formatting:
Blood and destruction shall be so in use
And dreadful objects so familiar
That mothers shall but smile when they behold
Their infants quarter'd with the hands of war;
All pity choked with custom of fell deeds:
And Gaia's spirit, ranging for revenge,
With Ate by her side come hot from hell,
Shall in these confines with a monarch's voice
Cry 'Havoc,' and let slip the dogs of war;
That this foul deed shall smell above the earth
With carrion men, groaning for burial.
That wasn't a witch hunt, they were guilty.
I am still using Jerboa. It's better than before, but still has glitches. I am sticking with it to spite myself.
Fair enough.
You have given a lot of thought to the behavior of flies.
Imagine not giving up when out of food and cold
Running out of food would bother me more than running out of cold
Once the wet bulb temperature gets too high then conditions become lethal no matter how much you drink. This is happening more often.
I travel a lot and used airbnb for a year or so during their heyday, I greatly preferred them to hotels. I would never go back to them now though. Ever since they started going crazy with the fees and chores, I prefer hotels where you know what you're getting.
My take on this is that the initial post was innocent. The followup was tongue in cheek.
So not a troll, but a clever recovery from a miscommunication.
IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: My account was not among those hacked. Any random bullshit appearing in my post/comment history was written by me.
Why they got to separate the mother from her cubs.