I'm not going to waste time give you the introduction. If you don't know who Jimmy is, I suggest you check my post history.

So, the lad striked again. You might remember the app he tried to vibe code. The other day he tried to have me put it in the server I have set up when I tried to explain it wouldn't do what he thought he would.

Copilot basically gave him a one page HTML that saved data in cache and it was major thousand line slop that I could barely make sense of. Today he insisted I set it up once more. Today he asked again. I warned him that I was already doing my own version. He got pissed and said he had already told about it to the bosses and this was HIS idea and HE was doing this one. I shrugged. The way I saw it, if he actually managed to do a better job, more power to him, we would've earn it, and some humbling wouldn't hurt me either. I'd still finish my own version, though I didn't told him that. I actually finished the first working version today though it needs some polishing and admin interfaces (I can still set permissions directly on the database). I'd still give him a fair chance.

"OK, how did you set up the database then"

"Never mind that, it's working. Just do it"

"Dude, I need to know what you used to make sure the server is supporting it"

(obviously, he has no clue, he can't even read the code...at this level of slop neither can I)

"Uh...it's...uh...it's in...PHP"

"Database? Dude...is it like...SQL?"

"Yeah, that's it"

(me, knowing he has no clue how to set up an SQL database, and assuming it was working at home) "You sure...maybe it's SQLite? In a single file?"

"Yeah, that's it"

I shrugged and said sure, I'll do it. He hands me over a USB pen. At this point, I don't even care. I'll just throw the code in ChatGPT to have a clue on what it does. So I sit in my computer and open the USB pen. Of course, it's a HTML file again (probably some JS there) and the thing is so huge even ChatGPT can't make sense of it. This, I expected.

This is what I didn't expect...

In the middle of the files there's a saved webpage. The name of the webpage? https://dev-server.spirinolas.com/ (not the real name, obviously). This lazy POS found my Laravel version open in the browser of the computer (not my work laptop, that is always locked) and tried to save it to steal my code. Of course, nothing of value was there. But the fact he actually tried it...I saw red.

I called him and confronted him. First he denied it. When I confronted him with the facts he got pissed and started gaslighting me.

"That file was already on the computer, I know nothing about it"

"It was already saved on the computer? Who saved it then"

"I have no idea. It was already there. When I got here it was wide open"

It's a browser with a webpage...top secret indeed. The actual code is in VSCode and isn't even stored on my work laptop. I use SSH to access it on my home server.

"Then explain to me how it was on your USB pen?"

As he got stuck against the wall and couldn't gaslight me anymore he lost his cool. He said I left it open because I know nothing about security and I'm a fucking idiot. The moment he insulted me I stopped the conversation immediately. I told him he had no right to insult me and we were DONE. I removed the USB and gave it back to him and told him to figure it out, I was not helping him.

Now I'm actually considering talking with the bosses about this. I know they like him but this was serious. He was trying to steal my work and pass it as his own though he's too stupid to realize how out of his depth he is.

It wasn't my purpose at first but I think Jimmy's stories might actually become an ongoing series.

You might rembember me from the first one:

https://lemmy.world/post/36801269

Well, so basically he's doing good with the leadership for other non-IT related reasons. But, as I could always tell, he tries to be competitive with me regarding IT subjects and doesn't realize how much he makes a fool of himself.

Like I said, I usually develop small apps to help our day-to-way workflow. He always downplayed what I did like it was the easiest thing ever. That LLM's can do all that in a second. At first I thought he was just playfully messing with me. Now I realize not.

So, we have a section where our coworkers have to deliver and receive a specific type of equipment. The records where basically sheets of paper that people put the time and signature. It was all very confusing since the sheets got often mixed up.

Jimmy basically asked chatGPT to make him a solution for that. So he came up to me, all proud, showing me an HTML file with some Javascript. It had authentication (lol) by way of using a pin code hardcoded in the JS code itself. The data was saved in Chrome itself. When I tried to show interest on what he did and ask him to explain the code to me he was suddenly very busy. The higher-ups were very impressed how it looked, not realized it didn't work. And he never used it...because it wouldn't work for obvious reasons. Eventually I started developing something using Laravel and he actually warned me not to steal his code.

My Laravel version took more time than expected since I was busy with other things. Eventually I had to postpone it for later. The other day he came to me and told me he wanted me to put his version on the server. The server is basically a Debian machine I use for some of my stuff on nginx, that doubles as a info screen kiosk. Knowing how "his" app worked (better than he did) I tried to understand what is it he wanted. He already knew it could work locally on a single PC (not in the safest manner, but whatever). He told me he wanted it to be available on the network on any computer by using the machine IP (the way my Laravel apps work). I tried to explain to him that his version stored the data locally and he would have to find another solution for network access to the data. I offered to help him know what he needed but, as usual, as soon as it was obvious how little he knew he rolled his eyes and just said "I'll solve it".

The other day I was passing by the TV that has my info screen/server connected and found he was messing with it. He had closed the full screen browser and was messing with some of the settings on the DE (he doesn't have the sudo password though). I scolded him and immediately put things the way they were. I knew, as I expected, he probably asked chatGPT for a solution and was trying to implement it on that server, not knowing nginx doesn't even have a GUI there (I always connect with SSH). He had no clue what he was doing.

Later, when I calmed down, I tried to understand what it was he was doing. He was being vague and avoiding any details. The more he talks the more obvious it is he has no clue what he's doing. He doesn't know how a server work. He doesn't know what PHP is or the difference between server-side and client-side. After a bit of prodding he told me he was installing this program called (and he spelled it) X-A-M-P, like it was this super-advanced software I wouldn't know anything about. XAMP on a server...for outside access...yeah. Jimmy and ChatGPT strike again.

This pisses me off because one of these days he's going to actually break something. And until that happens, the bosses actually think he has a clue.

My first job in IT still haunts me for all the stupid shit we did while bragging about how great we were. Most of that coming from the boss who you could easily convince me invented narcissism himself.

Any way to bodge a job but still call it working was a success story. The boss would boast about finding little tricks to get around Microsoft best practice guides and saying you don't need all that fancy shit that's just a way for MCSEs to overcharge for support.

He had absolutely no interest in IT, it just happened to be the business he got into. He never kept up with anything and I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he's still running XP for everything today.

A community center approached us for a job with two requests. Install Windows on about 20 PCs, all ancient beige towers with room for four optical drives. The second was to come up with a way to stop people stealing the RAM from them as they would pull off the blanking plates and reach inside.

They'd already tried hot melt glue but that's nothing a light kick won't solve. Our solution was to brick it up with a load of dead optical or CD-ROM only drives that were worthless, and when we ran out of those we had drive bay adaptors to fit those 3.5" card reader hubs that were partially blanked at the front. They looked so fucking bad, but being a charity with no funding to spare they went for it.

As for Windows, the boss approaches it within the limits of his knowledge. In goes the torrented XP CD with the license key I still remember off by heart.

Boss: "Fuck 'em they're a charity right? Do they have license money? No"

We get it up and running and then next comes the also torrented disk imaging software CD. We make a clone and image the rest.

We get a call a bit after the computers are collected. There's a problem getting them on the domain because they're all named "Computer01".

Boss: "So? Just rename them?"

They call back again, same problem still.

Boss: "We did what you asked, must be an issue with your domain"

As far as he's concerned he's been paid for work done, not his problem.

I, actually having an interest in an IT career do a bit of research. It's the only time I've ever had to know anything about it so it's hazy now all these years later but I think I figured out the PID (a unique identifier unrelated to the hostname) had been cloned so the domain would reject multiple computers claiming to be the same device.

I tell boss this. He does not call the community center to offer further support or solutions.

But narcissist that he is, he knows he's fudged the job. Rather than make things right with A FUCKING CHARITY he instead moans and whines for days about how Microsoft are money grubbing bastards and overcomplicating everything just so you have to do everything "their way" and rake in money through certification training and exams.

I noped out of the place after far too long there. I'm still in IT and been successful enough to learn just how BAAAAAD that business was, now I know enough to reflect. Still literally keeps me up at night sometimes.

I'm glad he went bankrupt.

And no it wasn't FCKGW or whichever one everybody asks.

Where i used to work we had a lot of Chinese students in the city, with varying degrees of skill with English. No problem, English is my main but also not my first language. This story is from about 20 years ago.

A customer comes in for help with their computer. I ask my troubleshooting questions to triage the problem.

"My computer can't connect to the Internet"

OK what happens when you try?

"Nothing"

At home, at work?

"At home"

Have you checked all the connections?

"Yes"

Restarted everything? PC, router?

"Yes"

Have you contacted your ISP?

"Yes"

And?

"No problem"

OK do you see link lights on the network socket?

"Yes"

Is it just websites? Are you having problems with email, MSN messenger or Skype or any other chat clients?

"Yes"

(We are at this for a good 10 minutes but I'll skip the unnecessary bits)

Have you tried a new network cable?

"Yes"

OK bring it in, we can test it here for you.

"Oh but it works in Starbucks"

What? You mean its a laptop? Wireless?

"Yes"

And you connect wirelessly at home too?

"Yes"

But you said.. the cable, the link lights?

"Yes"

And then it hits me. Waves of memories wash over me. My Japanese father talking to clients, head bobbing up and down constantly nodding and bowing.

"Hai, hai, hai, haaaa, hai, hai, kashikomarimashita"

Yes. Yes. Yes. Oh yes. Yes. Yes. I understand.

Yes in japanese doesn't necessarily mean "correct". We say it to show we're listening and being attentive, following the conversation. Yes doesn't always mean "yes that's right", it can means "yes please continue". And now I assume its similar in Chinese too. Like in English you might say "aw yeah! Aw hell yeah!" while listening to a story.

Right. Forget everything we've just said and start from the beginning.

Can you see your SSID in the list at home?

"Yes"

(Fuck. Thats on me)

And what name is your SSID in the list when you connect at home?

"[ISP]-XYZ123"

OK good and...

In our IT store had a few repeat timewaster customers. One in particular though I completely lost patience with. This young man just did not get things. No matter how many times or different ways we explained it. He would keep asking the same question over and over again, I believe some people do this deliberately, it's a tactic to wear people down until they just give you what you want to get you to go away. Or they don't like or won't take no for an answer on principle. This kid did not have that spark, whether the problem was technical or procedural or policy we could explain endlessly why he couldn't have what he wanted and the only thing he could comprehend was that.. he didn't have what he wanted. It wasn't even being offended that he was told "no", it was simply he had a problem, which was very much his problem, and it still wasn't solved.

So naturally it becomes my responsibility to help with his brilliant new business idea. From our previous interactions he had already lost Customer Service Voice privileges and it was straight to barely restrained disdain.

Kid: "Can you show me how to download movies and burn them to DVD without getting viruses?"

Me, already familiar with him yet still stunned by the audacity: "What? No?"

Kid: "But I don't know how to do it and I need you to show me how"

Me: "I.. you mean obtain copyrighted material through illegal channels to also illegally redistribute? For PROFIT?"

Kid: "Yes"

Me: "I'm not helping you break the law, no"

Kid: "But I don't know how to do it"

Me: "This isn't something I'm going to help you with, I'm not going to be complicit in this"

Kid: "But you're a computer shop I thought you would know how to do this"

Me, stupidly: "Yeah but I'm not going to show you"

As I type this I wonder how much shorter this story could have been if I'd just said none of us knew how. But this kid would absolutely have asked us to find out, in order to teach him.

Kid: "But that means I can't sell my DVDs"

Me: "Yes I guess it does, so is there anything ELSE you need?"

Kid: "Yeah"

Me: "..."

Kid: "I want you to help me burn movies to DVD"

I won't bore you with the half an hour we spent going round in circles with this. You've all had this conversation with someone in your life. You get the idea.

Eventually he leaves. For like an hour. Then he comes back.

Kid: "I still don't know how to burn my DVDs and I need you to help me"

Me: "I'm not going to do that for you, I told you all this earlier"

Kid: "But that means I don't know how to do it"

Me: "Yes that's right"

In my career I've found answering repeated "so won't you do this for me" questions by agreeing with them surprisingly effective. No apology, no customer service deflection or never say no to a customer approach after the third or fourth orbit on the merry go round. "So I can't have what I want?" Yes you are correct, I'm glad we are in agreement and we have arrived at this conclusion together.

Kid: "How am I going to sell DVDs then?"

Goddamnit. That usually works.

Me: "I don't know how many times I have to say this. I'm not helping you break the law"

Kid: "What if you just show me the burning DVDs bit?"

Me: "You've already told me what you plan to do with it. I'm not getting involved"

Kid: "I thought you'd know how to do this"

I honestly don't think he's bright enough to question my expertise to manipulate me into giving him what he wants. He's just stumbled dumbly into insulting me.

Me: "Look we are a computer sales and repair shop. We're not a training center. We sell IT equipment. If you have a problem with your computer you pay us to fix it. We do not teach people how to use their computer, it is not a service we provide"

Kid: "Oh I can pay you!"

MOTHERFU.... of god...

Me: "NOT. A. Service. We. Provide."

Eventually he leaves again. Half an hour later he's back again?!

Kid: "The guys in the shop nearby (our competitor) says I won't get viruses if I install linus"

Me: "You mean Linux"

WHY, WHY DID I ADMIT TO KNOWING WHAT HE MEANT?

Kid: "He said you don't get viruses on linus"

Me: "Ok"

Kid: "So can you show me how to do it on linus?"

Me: "Lin.. No, I've already told you countless times I'm not going to teach you how to break the law"

Kid: "But they said it would be better to do it on linus because you get loads of viruses from porn sites"

Me: "P.. PORN?? The movies you want to sell are PORN??"

Kid: "Yeah so I can sell them.."

Me: "I AM NOT TEACHING YOU TO BREAK THE LAW AND I AM NOT DISCUSSING PORNOGRAPHY WITH YOU"

Skip several more repetitions of this argument I won't bore you with verbatim.

Me, finally: "Look we're going round in circles. The answer is NO. You've wasted nearly two hours of my time and I'm not entertaining this any more"

Kid: "But the other guys said.."

Me: "THEN GO BACK TO THEM. I AM NOT GOING TO HELP YOU WITH THIS, OR NOW WITH ANYTHING ELSE. IF THEY SAID THEY KNOW "linus" GET THEM TO DO IT FOR YOU. GET OUT OF HERE, I'M REFUSING YOU SERVICE" x3 rounds of raised voices.

Finally he leaves, crossing the road looking back over his shoulder at me with a nasty scowl. After all these years still I remember looking away when I considered if I didn't break eye contact, he might actually get hit by a bus and blame me for it.

He came back the next day. I simply called the boss over and went on break.

I begged the boss to ban him but he said he didn't want to get into legal trouble for refusing to serve someone with a "mental illness".

What is?

"We need all the display screens on site to show channel XYZ immediately"

Holy shit why what happened?

"It's the England match!!"

.....what?

"It's the World Cup match England vs (I don't care)!!"

You want me to set every single display to tune in to a television station, in a commercial setting without the required license to do so, in place of the stat counters and statistics information they were installed for?

"Yes!!"

Sorry can't help you...

"You don't understand! If we don't display it everyone just watches on their phones secretly under their desk and productivity tanks! This is a morale booster and encourages (corporate newspeak for "we're a family"), we need you to do this HIGHEST PRIORITY!!!!!"

....I can't help you even if i wanted to. Try the Estates team, it's nothing to do with IT.

Fuck you you made me think something important had happened. I thought we'd declared war. Or the queen had died and we'd be getting another bank holiday.

Also at https://github.com/morriscox/Rules-of-Tech-Support/blob/master/Rules%20of%20Tech%20Support%20-%20management.md

The other sections of the Rules of Tech Support are available at https://github.com/morriscox/Rules-of-Tech-Support

Credits are listed there. The requirements for being listed here is that the main Rule must have to do with management.

Dealing with Management

---

Rule M1 - Management might find these rules. Plead ignorance.

Rule M2 - Never believe anything management tells you.

Rule M2A - Especially if a merger or bad news is involved.

Rule M3 - Management will order stuff they have no clue about.

Rule M3A - Management will expect the thing they bought to work perfectly out of the box.

Rule M3B - You will be blamed when it doesn't work.

Rule M3C - Especially when this is the first you are learning of this item even existing.

Rule M4 - Management will be puzzled as to why you have no clue about the thing they have no clue about...

Rule M5 - Management will expect you to be up to speed on their under the table projects, with decisions based only on what the salesman says, without consulting IT.

Rule M6 - Your boss will not have a tech background or a degree in your field.

Rule M7 - Management will present impossible tasks to be done.

Rule M7A - Management will then become outraged that said tasks were not completed.

Rule M8 - Management will blame you when things do not work.

Rule M8A - Even if the equipment is not IT related.

Rule M8B - Even if the equipment is IT related but is property of a third-party and thus their responsibility.

Rule M9 - Management will blame you if anything that was completed does not meet their expectations (they won't), no matter how difficult they were.

Rule M10 - If a project makes sense, something is wrong.

Rule M11 - If it's free or very cheap, management will think that it cannot be as good as the commercial stuff.

Rule M12 - Not all management is bad. Seriously.

Rule M13 - Do not, in any circumstances, send private anything via email. Especially if you're the CEO.

Rule M14 - You will never get interviewed by anyone who will actually understand your answers.

Rule M15 - Management will give you a budget of zero dollars and expect you to work miracles.

Rule M15A - “Boss paralysis” happens when they ask you a question that needs a numeric answer, and they become catatonic until you say a number. Failing to recognize the nature of this condition may result in you having a budget of $911.

Rule M16 - Management never wants to pay to upgrade anything.

Rule M16A - Unless it's for management.

Rule M17 - Managers might fire you for going outside the scope of your job.

Rule M17A - Managers will tell you to go outside the scope of your job, even if you don't report to them.

Rule M17B - Users will insist on you going outside the scope of your job and threaten to have you fired if you don't.

Rule M18 - Better tools and solutions exist. You just either don't know about them or you can't afford them. Even if you can, management won't let you get them.

Rule M19 - Management only cares about productivity that is reported.

Rule M19A - Find out what figure they think is the most important and focus your efforts on that.

Rule M20 - Management will have you do their job for them.

Rule M21 - Management will take away your tools and expect you to use the same equipment as every one else and yet expect you to do your job anyway.

Rule M22 - Being a tech in management doesn't make you exempt from the Rules, even Rule M1 (when it comes to dealing with upper management).

Rule M23 - Management will tell you to do someone else's job but only give credit to them.

Rule M24 - Management (and coworkers) will treat the help better than they treat you.

Rule M25 - The OSI model has layer 8 (user) and layer 9 (management).

Rule M26 - Managers often have a checklist, which no one else will care about.

Rule M27 - Managers will ask you to do something that is stupid/expensive/won’t work.

Rule M27A - When they do, always ask for it in writing to CYA.

Rule M27B - If they give it in writing, send a copy to your personal e-mail address.

Rule M28 - Buzzwords rule all decisions.

Rule MAN - Who your manager is likely to be.

This happened just now. It’s not serious but, God I wanted to bang my head in a wall.

So, I work in a government non-specialized job. I have some education in IT and I’m trying to get back into the industry after a hiatus (long story). While my job is non-specialized, the bosses realized I’m a somewhat competent programmer and developer (in a tech-illiterate environment I’m basically a God) and basically put me in a position to develop content for the institution I’m at. They get nice whistles and bell and I get to develop my portfolio while avoiding the most boring jobs. You can probably guess some coworkers don’t like it and think I’m lazy because I’m “always on the computer”, but I digress. It’s definitely not the case with Jimmy he at least understands what I do.

Jimmy joined the staff not long ago. He used to be a security guard supervisor and is a competent computer user. In that place that is a lot better than most people. But he knows nothing of programming or development or even intermediate tech support. But he is resourceful and knows how to figure some things out. We get along fine but he is older than me and can be a bit condescending. The moment he arrived I was glad I, at least, had someone else tech-literate. While talking to him I found out he had been enrolled in a Computer Engineering degree but quit on the first semester because “he had no time to go to classes”. I was very optimistic until I saw him do some dumb things. One was using a random charger for a laptop because “it is all the same and I know better, kid” (I stopped him just in time). The other was seeing me working on a disassembled machine trying to troubleshoot and he basically banged on a hard drive because “all this needs is a little slap”. I almost had a heart attack and managed to stop him as he was about to unknowingly destroy a hard drive.

He used to see me programming and I use LLM’s to help me speed some things up. He would, half-joking (or not), say it was easy and he did the same at home and I just tried to make it look harder. After a while he came with a small web app he did to help in his post. It was visually nice, and I applauded his initiative, but I quickly realized it was vibe coded 100%. It was basically HTML and JS all in a single *.htm file. I don’t like to put people down or be arrogant so I just complimented the aesthetics of it. It was never usable. I tried to lure him to try to fix it with my help but he was never interested.

Recently we changed posts and I got his old post since it would leave me more free to develop and give tech support. I decided to make something more usable to “replace” his app. I didn’t want him to feel I was trying to make him look bad so I decided I’d try to fit his code in the project I started in Laravel. The aesthetics would still be there so he would still be recognized for his initiative. But I soon realized nothing short of the layout would be usable (he had a harcoded pin code in JS, I shit you not) and even that I eventually left out since the interface wouldn’t be practical.

Well, sorry for the long context, story time:

Today as we’re leaving work he comes to me with a very condescending tone telling me that app was sure to get me in trouble. I had 2 QR codes in my desk. One with my local hotspot with restrictions that runs on the local network, and another with one of my projects ip (that runs in a machine inside the network only I have access to). Everything developed using MVC in Laravel and proper authentication. He actually took a picture of it and showed it to me saying it was the most unsafe thing ever (and probably to other people, but whatever). He was holding that picture like it was the most damning thing ever, like it was the thing that could make me be disciplined for. At first I was dumbfounded because I wasn’t truly understanding what was wrong. For a moment I even got worried I had missed something obvious. So I kept asking him what was the problem because I was probably missing it. At first he was saying the local hotspot was a security risk and I should use the local network only (uh). Then he was saying the app I already developed was unsafe to be there and should be on the Internet (I didn’t laugh in his face, I’m proud of my composure). Then he told me, in his majestic tone to this lowly pleb, there were rules about data protection and privacy, like any half-competent developer wouldn’t know about it. In between some vague concerns and contradictions and insinuations I was getting in trouble with the bosses (that 100% trust me when IT is concerned). I basically insisted he explained himself properly. Always while he was keeping that annoying condescending smirk. I kept my composure and forced him to explain himself properly. Until he eventually realized how blatantly he exposed his ignorance and was making a fool of himself. And he started avoiding the conversation saying stuff like “oh, I don’t care, don’t say I didn’t warn you”.

I know what you’re thinking. He’s trying to scare me into stopping improving that post, since he can see how much of a major improvement it will be. I’m used to it, so I don’t care. I’ll be leaving that job as soon as I can jump ship anyway. But the more he talks the more I realize that he isn’t as capable as I think. Even in other contexts he does everything to look smart but fails. But it was so frustrating trying to explain to me he had no clue what he was talking about and, until today, I hadn’t realized how threatened he felt by me. I know he wants to be the go-to IT guy and try to stand out from the rest of us, but he has no chance while I’m around. And after the ignorance I heard today…I wouldn’t even trust him with a laptop administrator account.

Years ago we replaced our wireless network. It was.. fine, I guess. As a team we worked with the vendor to rip out the existing installation and install something much more comprehensive. I was asked to take on the BYOD part.

There's always going to be some bumps in the road with any project but you hope to work through with the supplier, as if you're travelling in the same direction to your goal.

I hit a roadblock.

We want to introduce shared tablets in one area. So we have a pool of devices people will use their domain logins for. In trialling this I come across a scenario that will become an issue. So I call their support.

Hi. We have these shared tablets for BYOD. We need to log off the previous user's wireless connection to prevent user2 from logging into the device without being authenticated for connection by user1.

"Yes no problem, user1 can just log out of the network"

Yes I understand that but user2 will not be able to.

"Anyone can log off"

The device locks after inactivity. The next person to use the device needs a way to authenticate to the network without using the previous user's network connection.

"Yes, they can log off"

But you have to log into the device to do that.

"Yes, then log off"

But then user2 is using user1's wireless authenticationed session.

"Yes you can log in to the device and disconnect from wireless, by logging off"

Which is a security risk. Users are not going to do that. Every user will log into the device and carry on with user1's wireless session.

"And they can log off any time"

(Are you fucking kidding me?) That is unacceptable. That is terrible security practice and is not an option. We need a way to force users to use their own credentials for both the device and the network.

"Yes they can log in to the device and log off the wireless"

No you don't understand the problem I'm describing.

"I understand completely. You want to log off user1's wireless session. Any user can log off"

But they will be using user1's network session to log into the device. It is not acceptable for any user to use another user's credentials for any purpose at any time.

(Repeat that last part three or four times in your head, to save having to read it)

I'm telling you, you don't understand the problem I'm describing.

"I understand perfectly, you simply need to log off..."

HOW? Without using user1's wireless session to log in? There is no way from the lock screen to disconnect or reauthenticate to the wireless network? How does user2 use their credentials to login without using user1's connected session??

"Well then user1 must log off the wireless"

And where (THE BASTARDING BASTARDING BASTARDING CUNTING FUCK) is user1, please?

"I'm sorry I don't understand"

Yes. I said as much several times. User1 returns the device to the pool without logging off. Lets assume they have gone home for the day and are unavailable. The next user must log into the wireless network with their own login before logging into the device.

"If user1 cannot log off wireless how can user2 connect without using user1's wireless session?"

That is exactly what I've been asking you this entire call.

"....OH!"

Well we got there in the end. By which I mean he finally figured out what I was saying. It's that long ago I don't remember the solution or if there even was one.

ronswansoniknowmorethanyou.gif

In a company run by absolute villains there was one team that seemed to treat incompetence as a goal. It was such a god awful place they couldn't keep staff and were constantly hiring, training and losing personnel. Someone told me their attrition rate was >100%. It broke my brain, they tried explaining that for every 10 people they hired 11 or more quit. I still don't understand how that is possible.

They are of course absolutely useless with their relationship with IT.

I set up a bunch of desks for them and test every single one. Each logs me in without any issue. Job done, signed off, and forgotten. Later a ticket comes in complaining none of them work. They've all fallen off the domain. Ok, annoying but it happens. I get them all rejoined, done, forgotten.

Later they complain it's happened again. The whole bunch. Weird. Fix, done, forget.

And yet another ticket comes in along with a complaint about how these computers never work and how IT can never get anything right and costing the company business and all the usual jabs designed to get the attention of higher ups. So I investigate.

"Windows needs to communicate with the servers once in a while or for security reasons they will lose their ability to connect with the network. This can be prevented by making sure they are in use at least once a month" or however I phrased it, through gritted teeth.

Yeah, no. They're losing their trust relationship because you can't retain staff long enough to seat them in the newer area. You want to keep the team together so the desks at one end of the room churn through new hires while the other end of the room don't get touched for months.

"Nothing ever works" well not without someone to operate them, no.

Many years ago as you will soon see, we did a PC build for this customer. Nice guy, early 20s doing a minimum wage job and saving up for his first gaming rig. It wasn't absolute top of the line but it was more than I would have needed myself, definitely above mid tier.

The thing was he wanted to buy the parts one by one, as he could afford them. We tried HARD to talk him out of this, explaining he'd waste money that way as he bought each component at the current market cost when he could get it all cheaper buying everything at once once the prices had fallen, or use that money to get a higher spec for the same budget. But he was adamant, "no it's just not how I work, I can't save that much money without being tempted to spend a bit of it here and there. I know what I'm like, I can save enough for a part at a time but I'm just not going to save a large amount of money like that". Ok fair enough, we're all different and it's good to have self awareness.

So over the course of at least four months he comes in and pays for everything bit by bit. Might have been even longer. We put his parts aside in a slowly rising pile until it's finally all there. For the cost and time he's been waiting it's even worse than you are imagining. He wants the brand new Vista OS but he's also read up on it being flakey so he wants to dual boot with XP for stability, on separate disks. So he's saving up and paying for the second disk and second license, and a second labour charge for the work. If I remember right he wanted Vista Ultimate Edition too, not the cheaper Home version.

It's finally all there, he's giddy with a massive grin on his face with that final purchase. All we need to do is build it. On the bench it goes, XP on the first disk, Vista on the second. Drivers, Updates, etc etc and our QC. Computer goes back in the box for the case, and his peripherals go in a bag. Off he goes just delighted the day has finally come. In an hour he's going to enjoy the most powerful gaming experience hitherto of his life.

Annnnnnnd NOPE. In an hour he's on the phone with us. "I can't get it to work. It turns on but the mouse and keyboard don't do anything". Derp. He's being cool about it but we all knew how much he was looking forward to this. We suggest the obvious stuff to no avail. We're going to have to see this for ourselves and ask him to bring it in.

He's back the next day. We get it back on the bench and.. it works perfectly fine. Absolutely no issues at all. He's relieved, we double check he knows where to plug everything in, off he goes.

Only to call back the next day. It doesn't work again. But this time he's got news. It's working in XP, but not Vista. Ummmm..... I say we're really sorry but can he bring it back, but with his keyboard and mouse?

It's exactly as he describes. Totally fine in XP. Unresponsive with Vista. We plug in our cheap unbranded bench keyboard and mouse as well to investigate and see the yellow "!" triangles for his in device manager. His Microsoft keyboard and mouse. Identical hardware, proved functional by the dual boot, his Microsoft keyboard and mouse don't work with the premium shiny new Microsoft OS. Outstanding work, round of applause for them.

We try all we can do, which is essentially nothing. It's not a special keyboard, no extra function buttons or RGB lights or anything so there's no software or driver to try. It really is just a basic USB HID. It doesn't get more simple than this, it is how you computer, it is how you Operate the System. Precisely zero mention or help online can be found.

Sad and unsatisfactory, but we have nothing to try. We apologise and say we'll happily take it back in at some point in the future and see if any windows updates help or something. I don't remember what came of it in the end. He could still use XP and he accepted it, it was he himself who said he wanted to dual boot exactly because of the reputation Vista had. But none of us expected, like, the most fundamental requirement of using a computer to be a show stopper.

I think he ended up using his old peripherals from his other computer at least temporarily. But wow, Microsoft. You really outdid yourself raining on that kid's parade.

I've been meaning to ask, possibly its my lemmy app. I see the about for this community but no rules. I had some stories rejected from r/talesfromtechsupport. For example just mentioning NSFW requests from customers. Are we going by the reddit sub rules or are we OK for that here? Thank you.

I get a job for a department I've never visited before. I'm mostly access all areas so my card being rejected on the door tells me I'm in a specialist area. I explain I'm IT and get shown through to the right room by one of the staff there and I'm left to get on with it.

As I'm looking around I see one of those brainwave sensing hair nets. I know better than to touch anything but inside I am geeking tf out, giddy just being in the presence of tech I've only seen in Back To The Future and Ghostbusters. And what's this? An EM shielded room with a huge heavy metal door and frame? Soooooooo cooooooool!

Whatever it was I came to do I get done pretty quickly. But I notice the mouse cursor is shimmying and drifting to one side. I check the mouse, blow on it to clear anything that might be confusing the optics. Chase some cables, nothing fixes it.

It couldn't be, could it?

I don't quite go as far as closing my eyes and putting my fingertips to my temples like an X-Men character but I admit to staring at that brain mesh cap and thinking at it, REALLY HARD.

Nothing. I'm unworthy.

Eventually I find the real culprit. Some more wires pass through the wall into the EM shielded room where a second keyboard, mouse and monitor control the same PC. The mouse is resting on the keyboard in such a way the optics is hovering slightly above the flat surface of the table. Of course that's the problem.

But for a fleeting moment though, a fantasy came to life.

One day I'm introduced to the new Networks guy. He seems.. fine? But I get a vibe from him I can't shake. He's sort of vague and noncommittal about everything. Which I empathise with, its his first day and I get the impression he's a recent graduate. I've been doing this job for decades and I still don't have the confidence to talk in absolutes when there's even a .01% chance of outliers or being caught wrong. Benefit of doubt is given.

It's quickly withdrawn. I was projecting my low self esteem onto him. He like me has a level of confidence mismatched to his abilities, but in the polar opposite to mine. We're all the new kid at some point in our careers, we all start somewhere. I'm more than happy to support him. But it soon becomes clear we don't share the same understanding of what support means.

"Hey, I need your help with something"

Sure what's up?

"A switch needs moving"

...yeah? And how can I help?

"...can you move it?"

..........I can help you move it, sure.

"Oh. Thank you"

So he's never installed rack equipment? Neither had I, until my first time. No worries, I'm still learning stuff all the time.

Grab yourself some ladders and I'll meet you with the toolkit.

"I'm sorry?"

You'll need ladders.

I may have put slight emphasis on "you". After a silent moment of mutual blank stares passes I think he hasn't quite understood what is happening but has chosen to go one step at a time. He goes off for ladders and we meet in the server room. I find the switch and I hand him a screwdriver. He holds this like a curious relic for a moment, and after quiet contemplation his gaze turns back to me.

Two screws on either side, undo those so we can move it please.

"Here and here?"

Yes, just those.

It's only going up a few Us in the rack, we don't even need to unplug anything. He looks to me for next steps. I talk him through the rack mount clip nuts and hold the switch for him while he screws the bolts back in.

"Oh so it's actually very simple!"

Yes, if you need a second pair of hands again next time I'm happy to help. But you got this now yeah?

"Yeah!"

Over the next months I get the odd message asking me to check or patch something. I feed this back to my line management. Job roles are reaffirmed. He is to ask for my support only in times where it is physically not a one person job. I hear much less from him until...

"Can you help me installing this firewall?"

Of course, where?

"Here, just above this router"

...I'm not sure what you need me for. It just rests on top of the existing kit. You don't need a second person for this.

A couple of days go by. Firewall is still sat on a desk. I mind my own business.

"Can you help me with this firewall?"

How so?

"I don't know how to mount it"

Same as last time, four nuts four bolts.

"It isn't that way in the instructions"

Fair enough, it isn't. They have steps to attach a sliding mount and he can't figure it out.

"I can't see how this attaches"

Looks like you have instructions that don't match the parts provided. This is a fixed bracket, not a sliding one.

"How can I install it then?"

Just attach the bracket and ignore the sliders and the runners.

"But that isn't in the instructions?"

I don't have what isn't in the box, dude.

"Then what would I do?"

I'm sure there is documentation on the manufacturers website.

I try my very best to maintain my neutral face long enough for him to click that I'm not offering to research this for him. I am not at all comfortable with this. For a friend or a colleague with a better mutually supportive relationship I would be there for anything he asked. I feel unkind, honestly. But management have made clear to him and to me where our responsibility lies and ends. Plus enabling helplessness is no favour to him as a professional. It's not his lack of experience at fault. It's an attitude that someone else is going to be far less gentle about challenging. We don't have the same line management but his role is above mine, I have no place to say more. All I do is make mention of it and forget about it.

"Can you help me with another job?"

What is it you need from me?

"Can you do xyz for me?"

I'm available to support you to do this yes.

"I'm just not really a hands on guy, can you do this for me?"

This is communicated up several levels of both lines of management. Last I heard it was explained to him in no uncertain terms that his role was not limited to what could be accomplished via SSH from his desk, and if he wanted a career as a network engineer he better step beyond his days in a university classroom network lab and join the world of skills being actually practised.

I still have mixed feelings about letting him learn the hard way. It's not how I would approach someone I was responsible for or senior to. The reality is at this company I would have been told to know my place at the very bottom rung on the ladder and not presume to interfere. I will never, ever take a management role.

I get a job to install some hardware on all the PCs in an office. It should be the easiest bread and butter task I could be asked to perform. I haven't touched this particular device but its just some USB kit, simple right? We even have our own documentation as well as the manufacturers.

I get down there and start from the beginning of our internal instructions. And immediately hit the first hurdle installing some software. "Do you want to modify or remove this application?". So it's already been installed? Confused, I skip this and move on until something actually starts behaving as expected. Eventually I figure it out. A colleague must have made a start before the hardware arrived, so I'm picking it up halfway through on a separate ticket that hasn't referenced the old one.

OK, so I carry on with the device installs. There's a driver, and a custom firmware, as well as the software. I run the install batch file for the driver, move to the next desk and repeat for each. Back on the first machine I go to install the firmware. "Device could not be found".

Ummkay? I open up device manager and devices and printers, unplug and reconnect and watch as both windows do their twitching and burbling as they recognise the hardware being reattached. Two distinct devices appear, as expected for this type of kit. But one of them is not as it appears in the documentation. I confirm with another dis/reconnect its definitely this device that dis/reappears.

So I raise a ticket with the hardware provider. They send documentation that confirms this should work, but no troubleshooting guide. They say this is what the software provider sent them, so I raise a ticket with software company as well. They too provide basically the same instructions.

The only difference between theirs and mine is the current firmware is later than the version in their screenshot. So I try the older version. Same result. I dig online and if I understand correctly the software and hardware come from different suppliers and the firmware is made by another entity altogether. The stuff I'm reading gives vibes that its more of a project than a company. No wonder the two suppliers are unable to help and refer me to the other.

Between some health issues, closing times and waiting for responses I've had to give up and make another trip about 5 times now. It's getting on my nerves. I've also been out to an existing installation to try and compare, but nothing obvious came to mind. I've been banging my head against the wall with the firmware so I work backwards. I know SOMETHING is installed from device manager, even if its not what I expect to see from the documentation screenshot. I try installing the driver again with the batch file and.. cmd pops up for a fraction of a second and closes.

Arse. That's way too fast. There's my problem. This time I open a command prompt and paste in from copy as path. ".....could not be run". Obviously the firmware updater isn't going to see a device that hasn't got a driver for the OS to recognise it. I open the batch file in notepad.

Now I can write very basic batch files but that's it. I take a look and there's something along the lines of:

If xyz x86, run install32, with parameters

If xyz x64, run install64, with parameters

I get it, but I have no idea how to fix it if its not working. So I find the 64bit version and use copy as path to paste in the full path, and add the switches (just to make it silent, nothing special). This takes a good minute, so progress. I try the firmware again, and it "just works".

Sigh. Thankfully this whole job is for a yearly seasonal cycle so "as long as its working by the end of next month is fine" is the time frame, no impact other than the time I've wasted. If I had sat down for just one computer I would have noticed straight away, but my setting one off running and moving on to the next desk plan means I missed the command window closing suspiciously fast.

To solve the problem for the future I create my own batch file and document it, noting not to use the provided batch file. As I'm working on it, something catches my eye.

If xyz x64 run install64

Versus

\path\to\install64.exe

It cannot be, right? I've already finished the rest of the installs so I'm not wasting further time undoing one to test. But is that truly it? The firmware people just forgot a file extension?? I run the batch file again and paying more attention this time it does say "Install64 was not recognised as an application" or whatever the exact wording is. I can't be bothered to contact the firmware people but I close the tickets with hardware and software with my findings, "hope this helps".

When we reimage for Windows 11, I'm going to keep my eye out for this request for this office. I need to know.

We were preparing for clients to be permanently onsite who required Internet access. We don't want them on our network and they don't want to be on ours either for security reasons, so we provide a simple consumer grade broadband line. It's just the ISP router to a dumb unmanaged switch wired up to each desk, plain and simple. I test each socket myself, every single one is fine.

Someone from the client comes in, they spend the day doing whatever and nothing is brought up. They proceed with their plans to get their staff come in, equipment is delivered, they set up their own desks. We're literally providing furniture and a basic home network style basic ISP line. Everything else is theirs.

They complain that they can't get online, and fall back to whatever previous arrangement they had so they're not in the office. I test each port with my laptop, again working perfectly. Report this and suggest to discuss in person if they can replicate it.

Someone comes back in. No fault found. Cool. They get their people to come back in.

"It's not working again". Test with my laptop, demonstrate Internet is working immediately. I explain how there's nothing special about this network whatsoever. No firewall no proxy no filter no nothing. It's just connect and go, there's nothing to configure or enable or log into. It just works, for me. I suggest contacting their own IT for support.

In the background on our side there's some grumbling and "you said you tested this" and "the client are unhappy and raising it to our management". Shrug. WorksOnMyMachine.jpg

Client falls back to previous working arrangements again, WFH I assume. Their IT comes in, we meet and demonstrate both our laptops "just work". We have a brief polite, ultra professional conversation about next steps. You know the type. Neutral tone, customer service voice, and the unspoken communication that this is either a you problem or an us problem, and it's not us.

Client has been updated that their IT confirms Internet is working. Client returns to site. Internet not working. Louder and stronger grumblings from our managers. Shrug. WorksOnTheirMachineToo.jpg

Nonetheless this is obviously all my fault so I go to meet the client. They're all back in the office, again none of them can get online. I take my laptop, plug it in. INTERNET, yaaaaaaaay. Client team manager remains absolutely professional, but is strong in their desire to "get to the bottom of this so we can proceed as agreed in The Contract, obviously we can't work here if none of us can get online"

"Well. Except Bob"

Huh?

"Bob's the only one who's been getting online"

Oh well good for Bob. Well done Bob. Bob's actually piqued my interest. This is no longer a you problem, this is now a puzzle. Now I'm actually personally invested.

I drop all assumptions about their equipment, which again they installed and set up themselves. Their hardware, them wiring it all up, so it's my first time actually looking properly. I Ask Permission to Investigate Their Equipment, express that I will do my best but I am limited by not having any account on their systems, let alone admin. This is agreed and reinforces that I would never have touched their gear without their authorisation.

I do some basic tests on Bob's laptop under his account. All working fine as reported. Move onto the next desk, not working. I go to check the obvious, physical connection, and wtf is this?

This isn't that long ago but it's the first time I've seen one of those USB-C laptop charger/docks. The ones with HDMI, extra USB, network adapter, 3.5mm audio etc. My brain halts for a moment. It calls back to the 2000s when a friend had a PCI card, he had no end of intermittent problems with this multiple function gigabit network card, USB and Firewire device.

It's New. And it's trying to Do More Than One Thing At A Time. I immediately hate it.

"Everyone please disconnect your docks, except for this desk I am at now"

Client staff disconnect, including Bob. The laptop I'm sitting at can all of a sudden pull up a Google search for asdfghjkl.

"I'll disconnect this one, the person on the next desk please connect and try your internet"

asdfghjkl, immediate search results displayed. I tell client manager I believe I know what next steps are and I'll email their IT. She's obviously tech literate enough to know I've proved something and seems confident in me now, some of the business language tone softens.

I email. "Hey client IT. I think it's your docks and their network adapter. They do work, but only one at a time. As its your kit I'll leave it with you to confirm but that's my suspicion. Honestly I don't want to be right about this but hope this helps"

A little while later I hear back client IT updated firmware on all the desks and the problems disappear. Management scoff, obviously it was a them issue all along. I get exactly the amount of apologies and congratulations I've come to expect.

I did get one thank you though. From the client manager. A sincere one, even through the professional mask.

So we're having a meeting with a software vendor about a new ERP solution. Representatives of every department and the boss himself present.

Since all they know is some ancient piece of shit software that had the worst search imaginable, they keep yapping and asking about the search features.

Vendor's representative demonstrates and explains the different search options in depth and mentions the possibility of using wildcard search, the wildcard being an asterisk, as in pretty much any search tool anywhere.

This launches a salesman (who was specifically selected to be on this meeting for being the most IT competent in that department) into a tirade, wildly gesticulating and waving his open and running laptop all about the place while pressing random keys on the keyboard, about how unusable that is, because his keyboard doesn't even have an asterisk. (it does) Anyone who actually knows a thing about computers or two sinks into the ground in embarrassment. Boss keeps nodding in agreement and making supporting interjections on behalf of the salesman.

The end.

These stories are originally posted over the past decade on Reddits TalesfromTechSupport so I am copying over to Lemmy to help bring some life into this /c/

---

Some of you know I work for an ISP in a land down under. This incident took place a few ~~months~~ years ago when Apple ios 7.1 came out

---

Just got back from lunch one day and one of our layer 2 wholesalers call up to log a "fault"

Me: G'day slazer speaking
ResellerIT: Hi mate, I am wanting to log a speed fault with one of our private schools.
Me: no worries mate. What school?
ResellerIT: RegionalPrivateSchool. Your favourite one, they are only getting really high latency and between 5 to 10mb/s

damn it not those guys again

Back story. When this school went live their hardware firewall had a bug where after x amount of data was pushed, it could only do about 20mb/s in either direction.

Me: Considering previous problems with that school have they rebooted their firewall?
ResellerIT: Yes, odd thing happened though, when the firewall came up it ran at the 100mb/s for about 10 - 15 min before dropping back again.
Me: Odd, let me check it out.

I log onto the radio and see the school usage is bouncing between 80 to 100mb/s.

Me: Mate, have you looked at their current usage?
ResellerIT: No, why would I?
Me: Just look. You will work it out.
ResellerIT: Bugger me, that's quite a but of usage. I'll take it from here, sorry to call you mate.

/call

I kept the radio screen open in the background in case he called back and went back to my "active internet monitoring" AKA Reddit while listening to LRRLive on Twitch.

A few hours later I get an email from my boss asking what is happening at RegionalPrivateSchool, he got a call from the account manager. The only time the account manager gets involved is when he isn't getting in info out of his IT team (ResellerIT).

I flicked him an email back recapping my chat with ResellerIT and look at the radio it is still flatlining 80mb/s both ways.

I decided to take a look as to why a school with no students in it is still using 80% of their bandwidth in both directions. So I run the SuperSecretSexySpecial command on the radio that shows the top 20 source and destination IPs along with packets per second in real time.

When looking at the SuperSecretSexySpecial output I do some reverse look ups on the addresses. The school seemed to be pulling an arse tone of traffic from the local Akamai cache and pushing just as much up to addresses that map back to dsl services.

I start thinking, why is the school doing so much data? First thought, second Wednesday of the month Windows updates. But then I thought surely a school should run WSUS in case a bad patch comes out. As for the upload maybe some of the staff have discovered torrents aren't blocked on the firewall and let them run overnight.

I shoot my findings though to my boss, the account manager and ResellerIT. I include in the email that this is all speculation as well as some pointers for fixing it they can pass onto the schools IT guys. I get an email back from the account manager with some comments from the schools IT people saying they don't run windows, it is an Apple school and they are already running the apple version of WSUS. They also boasted that their school was one of the ipad trial schools. 1,300 students all with ipads, my second worse nightmare.

Then I remembered what my work iphone did this morning and an article I was reading at lunch, ios 7.1 for iphone, ipad and ipod came out a few days ago and we all know what happens next. The flood of app updates.

I decided to call the school and talk with their IT guys about running some tests for me. First step was to remove the apple update server network cable. When he did, the traffic dropped back from 80mb/s both ways to about 15mb/s. I asked them to plug the server back in and surely when it came back online the usage started again.

At that point I speculated that the student devices are calling back to the school to get the ios7.1 update and any apps that also require updates.

---

The following Friday I get an email from the account manager, thanking me for helping with the issue at the school. It turns out I was spot on with the student devices calling back to the school for app updates. After the schools IT guy reconfigured the apple server their speed tests were back up to 100mb/s both ways and sub 15ms response times.

The boss was so happy with my work he let me off early on Friday with a bottle of something special.

Another tale from the the land downunder. This time for all you RF geeks. I apologise in advance if I use dB, dBm, and dBi incorrectly, I tend to use them interchangeably at work.

---

One of those random things I have to do is support wireless gear that our ISP sells on the side to system integrators for point to point wireless between buildings.
It is fairly easy work, we over engineer the links to perform better than the system integrators expect. This is a story about how the original engineer over engineered the link too much.
The link was installed about 6 years ago and from what I understand hasn't performed as expected.

---

In the office, at my desk working on how one of our transit providers fudged up their route map and was advertising our address space back to us, a story for another time maybe.

phone rings

Me: G'day slazer speaking.
Customer: Hi, its Customer from [redacted], we bought a wireless link from your firm few years ago and it has been working mostly well till last week when it fell over and we haven't been able to get it back.
Me: Ooooookk, let me grab your details and I will give it a crack.
Customer: The box in the rack says Redline AN50E and the link light is off.
Me: all right, do you still have management access to the radio?
Customer: I do on this side, not the remote site obviously.
Me: Makes sense. on the status page what are the RSSI and SNR values
Customer: RSSI says -86 dbm for all 3 values and SNR is 0 dBm
Me: Is the other end powered on?
Customer: Yes, the guys in the other office can login to the management as well.
Me: That's good, can they tell you the values on that side too?

hold music starts

Customer: They are seeing the same values.

damn

Me: Do you mind if we come down and have a look?
Customer: No worries mate, just ask for me at reception.

I make a list of kit we will need for the job and "delegate" it to my minion to load into the van and we head out.

---

We get to site and Customer shows us around the master end of the link. I spot the first of many problems. The ethernet is running in half duplex mode (may account for their poor performance.) and the radio is running at 20dB transmit power.

I turn to Customer.

Me: have you played with any of these settings?
Customer: When it was originally installed the tech said if we have any problems with the link we should turn the transmit power up to 20.

I stare blankly at him for a few seconds before double checking I'm not going insane. I make note of the usual misconfiguration suspects, frequency, channel size, encryption enabled, correct encryption key and drop the transmit power down to 1 dB. We head over to the slave end.
Most of the settings are correct, with the exception of transmit power, again it is running at 20dB. I drop it back to 1dB and see the SNR come up above zero for a few seconds before disappearing.

We do a test on the indoor coax cable going to the roof and see no RF coming back down the cable. Damn a faulty outdoor unit. So we head up to the roof and see what we can do about the outdoor unit.

I let my minion and Customer go up the ladder first and as I pop my head out of the roof access hole I see a disaster.

The original tech installed a 60cm panel for a rf link which is no more than 50M. Rf geeks will know why this is a disaster. 20dB of transmit power along with a 28dBi antenna, no way that is legal in Australia.

We swap out the outdoor unit on the slave site, because we were on that side, and as soon as we plugged in the new outdoor unit it started chirping away with its alignment buzzer saying it has the maximum modulation.

Me: That's not good.
Minion: What do you mean? The link is working with this new outdoor unit, so we found the faulty part.
Me: Yea, but where is the antenna connected at the moment?
Minion: In the faulty unit.
Me: Yes, so with 1 dB transmit power on both end and only one 30cm panel on the master side we are forming a link.
Minion: So?
Me: What do you think will happen when we attach the 60 cm panel and put the transmit power back to 20dB?
Minion: It will get saturated and the link will fail.
Me: Yes, so all the drop outs they are talking about is because the link was overengineered too much.

We reattached the panel and looked at the management RSSI -36dB, SNR 30dB.

Me: That has sorted it.

phone rings, Customer comes up on caller ID

Me: Hi mate, we got it back up, how is it looking?
Customer: The link light is on, but I cant ping across the link.

damn it Rf is up and talking but no traffic is passing, the encryption key must be wrong. I get him to correct the encryption key and his traffic starts flowing again.

I confirm the modulation and transmit power are ok and head back over to the master end to talk with Customer.

---

Me: The outdoor unit is most likely to have burnt out because the RF levels were too strong.
Customer: I notice now when I put the transmit power to 20dB the link goes offline.
Me: Never change that value to above 1 ever
Customer: Ok then. The speeds are better, before it was running between 6 and 12 Mb/s now it is saying 54Mb/s
Me: Yes, because of RF magic we turned the signal power down to get a better signal.
Customer: I'll accept that.

And with that done, Minion and I went back to the office.

---

Context for those who aren't in the RF world. Imagine having a conversation with someone across an alleyway with one person shouting at the top of their lungs and the other using a megaphone. At some point hearing damage kicks in.

When using new wireless kit, never assume the vendor knows what they are doing, most of the time they do not know what the local laws regarding wireless equipment even are. We have some vendors ignore standards while others follow the standard so closely the kit becomes unusable.

---

We installed a new 900Mhz radio to a customer who was in a particular bad spot. All seem well, the customer was getting the speed over the wireless and the latency was rather good.

A few weeks after install I get a call from the customer.

ring ring

Me: G'day slazer speaking.
Cus: Hi, this is [manager] calling from [customer] we have a guy here saying the radio on our roof is interfering with [national mobile carrier] in the area.
Me: Ooook, that doesn't sound good. Can I talk with him?
Cus: Sure. I'll shoot the call down to reception where he is.

call transfer

Me: G'day this is Slazer, we run the kit on the roof, what is the issue?
CarrierTech: This is CarrierTech from [contracting firm] we have been sent out by [national carrier] to find out why their customers are experiencing call problems in this area.
Me: I see, is [Cus] still hanging around?
CarrierTech: Yes,
Me: Sweet, I need to have a quick word with him and we can sort this out.

Phone passed back to Cus

Me: Hi mate, Thanks for calling us. We will handle everything from here and you wont have to do anything.
Cus: Ok, sounds good, I will pass you back to CarrierTech

Phone ping pong finishes.

Me: Right mate, lets get this sorted. What are you seeing and how can we resolve it.
CarrierTech: I noticed the radio on this roof and our kit is saying it is running in the 900Mhz band. What brand and model is the radio?
Me: It is a Ubiquiti Nanobridge M900.
CarrierTech: Is the firmware up to date and you are running in the Australian country code?
Me: Yes.
CarrierTech: Ok, so it looks like it currently isn't complying with Aussie rules because it is sitting in the middle of the 900Mhz band assigned to [national carrier].
Me: Not good, What is there band?
CarrierTech: [freq band]
Me: Yea, we are sitting in the middle of that, luckily this is a backup link so I can mess with it during business hours. Let me lock out those frequencies and reboot the unit.

few min later

Me: Ok, I have gone as far away as I can from their band, how is it looking?
CarrierTech: I will have to check from outside. Can I have a number I can call you back on?
Me: sure, [insert company number]
CarrierTech: OK, I will call back a little later.

---

About 20 min later he calls back.

CarrierTech: It looks like that has cleared up the problem. Where does this link go back to?
Me: [insert address from city 10Km away]
CarrierTech: sigh I spent the entire day there yesterday chasing down the same problem and narrowed it down to that street. I should of started at this end.
Me: Well, my apologies mate, I will have to get in touch with the vendor and get this fixed for the next firmware release.
CarrierTech: Yes. I am sure [National Carrier] will also push them and the ACMA about it.
Me: On that note. I assume because the problem is fixed we won't be getting a call from them?
CarrierTech: No, if they complained to the ACMA it would be 6 months before they could do anything about it.
Me: Sounds about right for a government department, just out of curiously how many sites were affected by this?
CarrierTech: About 20 to 30 sites.
Me: wow, now I am really glad you called us first.

insert ending formalities

/End call

---

I let the boss know what happened and he was glad how it worked out.

Last time we had a run in with the ACMA it ended badly for them, but that is another tale for another time.

This story is a few tears old, but I'll try to remember all the fun parts.

Back then I was working with a company that among other stuff also outsourced telephone services to customers. So they would get their phones from us, all the infrastructure, we did all the technical stuff with the ISP, got everyone their extension and call groups etc.

We had only a hand full of customer who used this service from us, but or company itself of course also relied on it.

Most parts of the infrastructure were customer specific except one. The main entrance/exit server (+backup) into/out of our datacenter. But for our cause, they were so oversized, that no amount of traffic would even be closely able to bring them down. (Or were they)

On usual days we would handle maybe 50-100 external calls simultaneously. Cause remember, those servers were to the outside. All other traffic would not touch them. The servers were (according to the specs) able to do 4000 simultaneous calls.

To the day of the incident. It began around 8 in the morning. We would get a few incidents reporting calls not being established, which we brushed off at first, cause it was more probable that the other site was at fault.

Later one of our customers also opened up incidents reporting this in mass. At this point, we were getting a little worried and looked into the logs. What we found was not fun. Much to our dismay, we saw that we had around 7000 simultaneous calls trying to bomb our system. Most of which were trying to reach one specific customers call center.

After a while we found out that this customer had a countrywide mandatory survey they didn't tell us about. For this survey an external call center was hired to handle all the calls.

We hopped into a call with them and found out a few things: They were expecting about 15-20k calls a day, and their contract said something about "up to 2k" and when questioned, how that would work, they told us about a specific rule in their contract with their ISP. This rule meant that all calls above the 2k limit would get a "number is busy" kinda answer and had to wait or hang up.

We called the ISP. They just told us (and the customer in the same call): "Yeah, we sell that feature, but that doesn't really work and mostly isn't even used..."

So the ISP broke their contract but were to big to fail and the customer didn't tell us enough, but was angry our stuff didn't work.

End of the story was, that we rerouted all the calls directly to the call center and then the call numbers dropped back to a few hundred.

Edit: Survey was mandatory.

My incident over ~~2~~ 9 years ago involves the federal regulator making impossible claims.

---

Working in the wonderful world of Wireless Internet Service Provider (WISPs), you get those calls once in a blue moon that makes you question everything.

phone rings

Me: G'day, this is slazer.
Caller: Hi, this is Fred calling from the ACMA (the Aussie version of the FCC). Can I talk to your senior radio engineer please.
Me: We don't have one, but I am the senior network engineer. I will do what I can do help.
Fred: Ok, I am at [site] and we are detecting some interference on the local council 80Mhz band and we believe your equipment is responsible.
Me: I am sorry, run that by me again.
Fred: We believe the equipment operated by your company on [site] is interfering with the local councils 80Mhz emergency push to talk system.
Me: Ooook. That sounds impossible our equipment is running at 5Ghz. How did you get to that conclusion?
Fred: Well, we have shut down all the other wireless operators on the tower but the interference is still there. In your cabinet there is what looks like an amp which takes up about the bottom 6RU. Would you be able to turn that off?
Me: We don't have an amp in our cabinet. That is our UPS in case there is a power outage.
Fred: A UPS? That explains why your equipment didn't go down when we turned off your breaker.
Me: It also kept beeping at you till you turned the power back on didn't it?
Fred: Yes. So is there a way we can turn your kit off so we can finish our tests?
Me: Not at this time of the day. We have clients actively using the service.
Fred: Ok, I will run some more tests and get back to you.

/call

I take down his number in case he calls back and let my minions know that if he calls put him directly though to me. I call our vendor rep, just to make sure I am correct.

Vendor: Hello this is (dude) from (vendor)
Me: G'day , it is slazer from (WISP). Do you have some time to chat, I just got off the phone with the ACMA.
Vendor: Oh boy, whats up?
Me: Well one of the ACMA "engineers" have said the kit we have installed is interfering with an 80Mhz push to talk system.
Vendor: That doesn't sound possible. If it were possible, we would have people all over the world complaining.
me: I know, just doing a sanity check. I will let you know if it turns out to be your stuff, which I doubt.
Vendor: No worries mate, thanks.

/call

I also call the boss and let him know what is going on. He has the same mind set as the vendor, impossible for us to interfere with an 80Mhz system.

A couple hours pass and he calls back.

Me: g'day mate, how did you go?
Fred: You have a radio pointed between 50 and 60 degrees off the tower, I think that is responsible for the problem.

I look up the radio in question and it is a 5.4Ghz radio.

Me: That can't be. It is a 5Ghz radio.
Fred: can you turn it off so see if the interference goes away?
Me: Like I said before I can't turn off any of our radios unexpectedly during the day, that particular radio goes to the school in [suburb].
Fred: Hmm, when can we turn it off to test?
Me: provided the school is OK with the outage, 2 weeks from now at 3AM.
Fred: Your shitting me?
Me: No, part of the contact we have with the school says we have to give 2 weeks notice for any planed maintenance that could impact their service.
Fred: But why 3AM?
Me: Because that is the time when it will disrupt the schools service the least.
Fred: There has to be a better time then 3AM.
Me: Not really, the schools nightly backup goes from 8PM till 2AM.
Fred: Seriously?
Me: Yes. I will call the school now and organise the outage. I will give you a call back when I have confirmed everything.

/call

---

I organised the outage with the customer and kept everyone in the loop.

---

Outage window came along and I got a call from Fred.

Fred: How far off are you?
Me: I am ready to go.
Fred: Eh? Aren't you meeting us here?
Me: No, why spend 2 hours travelling up there at night when I can do it from the comfort of my home?
Fred: OK, well lets get started.
I turn off all the radios except the the one I am using to log into the site via.
Me: They are all off except one, how is it looking?
Fred: Still seeing the interference. When you say they are off, I am still seeing the same amount of lights on your gear in the hut.
Me: I have turned off the radio unit on the outdoor unit. So at the moment all our radios bar one are not transmitting.
Fred: Which one is on?
Me: Our backhaul, if I turn it off I wont be able to turn it back on remotely. What I can do is bounce it. Have are you looking at your kit?
Fred: Yes.

I reboot the final backhaul radio.

Me: OK, you have about 2 min before it comes back online. How is it looking?
Fred: No different...... What in the world is causing this interference.
Me: No clue mate, we operate in the 5Ghz band. Seeing as you haven't found anything I am going to turn our kit back on now.
Fred: but we haven't finished testing yet.
Me: Yes we have, all our kit was off and you said there was no difference in the interference.
Fred: It must be your kit. It is the only unlicensed kit in the area. Everyone else is using licensed spectrum.
Me: ............. I would ask how you came to the conclusion of they don't use licensed spectrum so they must be the problem, but it is 3AM and I would like to go back to bed.
Fred: But we aren't done yet.
Me: Yes, we are. Good night.

/call

I turn on our equipment again and write up a report for the boss, then return to bed.

---

A couple days later, we received a warning notice from the ACMA about the events that transpired. Sadly, this is where my part in the story ends and the boss picks it up.

After several back and forth between the boss, our lawyers, and the ACMA rep. The warning is withdrawn and the 80Mhz kit gets moved to another tower a couple hundred meters down the road only to run into the same interference problem.

I don't know if they ever fixed the problem, it has been a few years and it doesn't bother me.

These stories are originally posted over the past decade on Reddits TalesfromTechSupport so I am copying over to Lemmy to help bring some life into this /c/

---

Sigh, I had one of those Mondays. As per the rules all names are replaced to protect the identity of the stupid and ill informed.

Some auzzie slang/humour may come off as offensive, I apologise, its just how we roll in the land down under

Back story, I work for a fixed wireless ISP. I deal anywhere between integration firms and the onsite IT bloke. This particular incident took place at the HQ of a multi site medical center group

---

Get a call at 6:30AM

Me: G'day slazer speaking.
Customer IT guy (Lets call him Steve): Hi mate, its Steve from Medical Group our head office is offline at the moment. We had a really bad storm go though last night, it may just be power but can you guys be on stand by just in case?
Me: nyaaa, all right. I'll do my usual morning stuff and get into the office asap. Can you check out HQ and let me know?
Steve: no worries mate.

2 min later

imessage from the boss: slazer, the HQ of Medical Group is down. whats going on.
imessage to the boss: Just got off the phone with their IT bloke and he is going in to checking power. I'll get to the office early and prep our spare radios.

no reply from the boss.
[insert usual morning stuff of shower, shave, and shi....]
While driving to the office I get another call from Steve

Me: G'day Steve, how is it looking on your end?
Steve: Well, we have lost a UPS and a switch to last nights storm, you may of lost your radio though, there is no up-link light on your Cisco NTU.
Me: bugger, I guess you have tried power cycling it?
Steve: Yea, the light is on the power injector but no light on the NTU. Our sparkie (aussie slang for an electrician) is coming in to check everything else is OK, I'll get him to check your cable too.
Me: Cheers mate, I'll get a spare radio configured and head straight up to you.

3 accidents on the motorway D: a normal 45 min trip takes 2 hours but I get there eventually.

CIT: You took your time mate.
Me: Traffics a female dog.
CIT: Fair call, the sparkie had a look at the run from the server room to the radio on the roof, he said everything is fine. where do you want to start?
Me: Well lets make sure the POE injector is OK first.

We head to the server room and I notice there is no light on the POE injector. I do the usual troubleshooting and the light on the POE will only stay on while the cable to the radio is not plugged in. I check the injector by plugging in the replacement radio, lights stays on and the radio turns on and starts squawking while it searches for a base station to connect to. The port on the NTU also comes on ruling out the POE and NTU as the cause of the fault.

Me: Well the problem is not down here. Lets go for a sticky beak on the roof.
just as i finish saying the sentence, the sparkie appears out of nowhere.
Sparkie: Everything is fine on the roof, I have checked the cable and the radio is powered up
Me: ......... its not that I don't believe you, its just that..... no bugger it, I don't believe you.
Sparkie: hmmf

the sparkie walks off.

Steve: Little rude there mate? Me: Only because he lied.

Stevelooks confused

Me: By how the light was behaving on the injector, there is no way everything is fine.
Steve: Fair enough mate, let me know what you find.

He goes back to checking the servers and I head up to the roof alone. Once I get onto the roof I notice there is no light on the bottom of the radio...

I remove the waterproof bung and saw the rj45 head had been...... I don't have a word that will get passed the profanity filter for how the head looked.

Now, I have seen RJ45 heads shorted before from either over voltage (doing 54v to a 24v device) or water getting into the bung but nothing this bad.

It takes me a moment to collect myself and I begin repairing the cable. YAY for service loops!!! I install the replacement radio and get off the roof to make sure the customer is back online.

---

Warning: PUT YOUR DRINKS DOWN BEFORE OPENING THE PICTURE

---

I find the Steve in his "office" (read cubby hole)

Steve: back online are we? Good, What was the problem.
Me: May wana get the sparkie in for this.

Stevelooks confused, but pages him to his "office".

Sparkie: Whats up?
Me: When you said you checked the cable, what did you do?
Sparkie: I put a RJ45 tester on both ends and it tested OK.
Me: Again, I do not believe you. Tell me, how did you "test" this?

I gave both Steve and the sparkie a moment to collect their jaws from the table.

Steve: You can go slazer, thanks for getting the connection working. May I keep that head?
Me: Sure mate, I have a pic, that is all we require.

---

I am not sure if I will find out what happens with that sparkie, but I doubt I want to. On the bright side, because I had to travel before 7AM the company paid for my breakfast :D

To those of you who saw the pic before my warning of putting your drinks down, I am sorry. For those of you who blandly ignored it.... well, I am still sorry, but you were warned.

---

Update Time

So it turns out the sparkie vocabulary is smaller than both myself and Steve thought most sparkies have. When he was told to check the cable going to the radio on the roof he thought they were talking about the Wifi Access Point on the 3th floor.

His reasoning: Because ground, 1st and 2nd have floors above them they have ceilings. 3rd floor is the top floor so it is not a ceiling, it is a roof...... I'll let that logic sink in for the rest of you too.

Some background, I work full stack while we also man the support email from users. I'm manning the support email this week, but today I was also tech support for a fellow developer.

We use HP docks to connect everything from screens to keyboards. But today a dock would not do anything when my colleague attempted to use it.

Being the nosy kind, I went and asked the usual

• Did you reboot?
• Did you remove the power to the dock?
• Try messing with the drivers?
• lock the screen before unplugging?
• Tried another dock?

All yes, none worked. Our IT support hadn't opened for the day yet and he was looking into updating the specific dock driver.

So I asked, did you try the other USB-C port? And what do you know, that worked. Then he just plugged right back into the first USB-C port and everything was back to normal. I don't know who made the drivers, but it's pretty danning when they can brick a specific USB port until it's forced to redo whatever config that messes it up, by using another USB port...

If anyone wonders, the docks have a magnetically joined charging and USB plug, so it's fairly natural to plug them in together side by side. It's also almost uniquely a dock issue and not a dead USB port, so it's funny that the enite thing uncloggs from just using another port for a second. But a reboot does not...

This is a more recent story while working for an MSP in Europe compared to my time working for an ISP in Australia

the cast:
Me: Slazer
OT: Other Tech

---

I get a message on slack

OT: Hey, I am seeing something weird in the French office for customer, can you help me look into it?
Me: Sure

Queue the Teams call.

OT: So all the Access Points in that office are reported as offline in cloud.vendor.com portal but the customer is not reporting an issue.
Me: Ok, that is odd. What is the monitoring system saying?
OT: Monitoring says everything is OK, I can ping them and do SNMP calls to all the AP, they are just reporting as offline in the portal.
OT: The other thing is the firewall says the AP are trying to access cloud.vendor.com but the local in policy is denying the traffic.
Me: That is rather strange.

I log into the firewall and check the logs and see the APs are in fact trying to access cloud.vendor.com but the destination is 255.255.255.255. Not the expected IP from the vendors documentation.

Me: Well I want to say it's a DNS issue what happens when you reboot the AP?
OT: Rebooting from the portal doesn't work but I rebooted on from the switchport and the same thing happens.
Me: Is the on prem DNS server working?
OT: Yea, the domain controller is the DHCP/DNS server and it has no issue with access, the customer hasn't reported connection issues. It looks to be just the APs.
Me: Ok then, are they being allocated the right DNS servers?

OT logs into the domain controller and everything is looking good.

Me: dafuq?..... Wait, do these even use the DNS server from DHCP or do we set one via the device template?
OT: Not sure, never had this happen before. When we provision these they are plug and play.

I log into the vendor portal and start poking around and notice all the APs have the same DNS server of 208.67.222.222 (OpenDNS)

Me: Ok, well the AP aren't using the local DNS server they are using openDNS. Lets start a packet capture to see what is going on.

I setup a packet capture on the firewall and limit it to the IP of the AP we are looking at and let it run for a bit and crack open the capture in Wireshark.
I just start laughing at the error

OT: I know that laugh, what did you find?
Me: what do you make of this error?

Every single DNS query had this as the response.

The OpenDNS service is currently unavailable in France and some French territories due to a court order under Article L.333-10 of the French Sport code. See https://support.opendns.com/hc/en-us/

OT: Wha????
Me: Yea.... Now for the hard part.
OT: Hard part?
Me: How do we fix this? There is no ssh logins to the AP, we can't push config because the devices are offline according to the portal, and there is no way we are getting console to each of those units.
OT: I see.

Then the dumb idea occurred to me.

Me: I have a dumb idea. We DNAT any traffic destined for OpenDNS to Googles DNS so we can reconfigure the units to use the local DNS servers.
OT: Would that work?
Me: It should.... I hope.

We then setup DNAT for the AP specifically to rewrite the DNS request destined for OpenDNS and forward it to Googles DNS.
After activating the config we start seeing the devices come online in the portal as if nothing happened to them.

OT: Hey, it worked.
Me: omg, it actually worked...

I am somewhat sill shocked it worked.

At some point I will get some time to clean up that DNAT and finish reconfiguring the APs.