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this post was submitted on 14 Apr 2024
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Well if you stopped buying frivolous items like GROCERIES you'd have plenty to invest. Then you could enjoy your retirement for a comfortable 3 years before going back to work
We were talking to my daughter about this just yesterday. It's not even groceries. People think that if you spend $30 or $40 a month on things that make you and those you love happy, you'll never save enough to make yourself marginally more comfortable in the last 10-20 years of your life (if you're lucky) that will be uncomfortable no matter what.
So I suppose maybe if I denied myself and my child every pleasure in life, sure, I could put money in a 401(k). That is not something I would do and I certainly do not think it's a good lesson to teach a child. I'm sure someone will call that some sort of "live for today" or YOLO attitude rather than not giving your child the most miserable childhood you can.
But that's unproductive hyperbole. Not every pleasure in life costs money, and lots of things you spend money on can be optimized. And even after doing that, if you still feel too squeezed, it might be worth considering a career change and a plan for how to get there.
It might be unproductive hyperbole, but I've been told that exact same thing more than once right here on Lemmy.
Sounds like you have an axe to grind. Sorry life has been hard for you friend. Hope it gets better. Hang in there.
You were telling your daughter that you're spending $30/mo on her to make her happy instead of saving it for your old age? I don't know how you communicated that, but on the surface that does not sound like a healthy thing to tell a child.
If you're worried about providing your daughter a fulfilling childhood, maybe also consider prioritizing time with her? You spend a lot of time on Lemmy dude, is that time you could be spending with her? Or are you on your phone a lot when you're with her?
Do you think that maybe you don't pay attention to what actual times of day I'm on Lemmy vs. when I'm not on Lemmy and think that maybe I spend those times with my family?
I'm here a lot because I'm currently very sick (I recently got back from the Mayo Clinic). I suppose that's my fault?
No, I've never paid attention to when you're online, I just see you average 100 comments and posts per day. I still think telling your daughter that you're spending $30/month on her instead of saving for retirement is not healthy.
I know a lot of people taking care of their elderly parents. I have yet to meet one who says they regretted their parents buying them toys. Do you know any?
Also, as I already said, I am on Lemmy a lot because I am very sick and have nothing else to do most of the time.
You're misunderstanding my point. I'm saying it's not healthy to tell your young child explicitly that you're making this choice between buying them a toy or saving for retirement. This conversation started with you saying you just had that conversation with your daughter yesterday.
Do you think the conversation was literally "I'm making a choice between buying you this toy and saving for retirement?" For one thing, she's almost 14.
Egad man, what is happening in your head
Here is what is happening in my head.
You said:
I agree. But I don't have a young child anyway.
That was not the conversation we had.
I hope this clears things up.
You should probably go up top there and change where you said "I just had this conversation with my daughter yesterday"....
I did not say that. That is false. This is what I said and this is it in context:
In other words, I was talking to my daughter about people who think you should invest money rather than buy groceries.
Once again, I hope this clears things up.
Not even a little 😕 Who exactly is telling you to invest your money instead of buying groceries?
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/may/15/australian-millionaire-millennials-avocado-toast-house
The only person I've seen attempting to make that argument in this thread is you. It's been a really weird strawman thing.
Raises hand
Hello, I'm now paying out the ass for my parents not to starve in their old age. We were poor as shit growing up, but I know my parents never had a written budget and they could have made better financial choices. I'd still be supporting them but it wouldn't be as painful.
Every dollar spent on Christmas gifts that we forgot about a month later could have been a dollar invested in their retirement. I wish we'd decided as a family to not partake in gift exchanges and instead spend more time with each other. I wish my siblings and I had been encouraged to start working as teenagers to contribute to the family budget.
Most of all, I wish we'd had a clear financial plan as a family. I didn't figure out finances until my early 20s. The value of saving is something that should be taught at a young age.
I promise you, if you put that $30/month into your own IRA, you'll make her a lot happier when she doesn't have to support you when she's grown up.
The problem isn't spending a little to make you or your family happy, it's spending for consumable things today, that's going to put you at a huge disadvantage later.
I get it, I have two kids, it's fucking expensive. But you know what's even more expensive? Taking care of old people.
Unfortunately, with all of the price-gouging that's been happening, $30/mo is nothing. It probably is now productive being spent. Even with compounding interest, that is going to result in enough funds to retire as an expat in a developing nation with an exceptional exchange rate and likely next to no end of life care, supposing that the investment firm that is profiting off of pensions being extinct does exceedingly well.
I also like to suggest saving anything that one can but noone is going to be able to realistically be able survive on that, unless there are significant socio-economic changes. It's a "pie in the sky when you die" situation.
"I know you want that doll, honey, but I've put the money for it into an IRA and it will make you a lot happier when you don't have to support me when you're grown up." You do you with your kids, I'm going to get mine things that will make her happy.
And she already knows she has no obligation to support me. I've made that clear to her.
Do you really think she's just going to let you starve and live on the street?
And yes, that's exactly what you say. Funny how it's not things that make kids happy, it's spending time with them. Reading to my daughter her favorite book for the 1000th time is much more enjoyable than just buying her a new doll.
It's also a great lesson in short term happiness vs long term happiness.
You bought her a book? When you could have put that money in a Roth IRA?
You're clearly an abusive parent!
Stop being obtuse. You know what he means.
Also, libraries are great for kids to choose their own books. You just assumed he spent money on a book instead of time taking his kid to the library. It's true, kids don't care about money. They care about time you spend with them.
True, I did assume that someone who claims to have read the same book to their child 1000 times did not get it from the library.
You're saying you only have enough extra money each month for either a children's book, OR that book's value in retirement savings?
And assuming that's their life situation as well?
I'm the one being told that it's either buy a child a toy or invest in retirement.
Not by anyone in this thread.
Me:
You:
Me:
You:
So yeah, you did say either buy a child a toy or invest in retirement.
No I didnt.
Okay, well, you can do the whole "what are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?" thing, but I still quoted what you said.
No you didn't.
Really? This is what you're going with? That I didn't actually copy and paste directly from what you said when anyone can just scroll up and see that I did?
Dude, there are more than just you and me here :)
I didn't say any of those things. That was someone else.
However, in that case, the starting premise appears to have been you saying that there is only $30-40...no, nevermind. This is why I replied with short replies before. I really don't care enough about arguing on the Internet about this. Whatever it was, you're right. I said those things and everyone thinks whatever it was.
You never heard of libraries?
I think that's an excellent lesson to teach a child.
Poverty sucks. Try to get out of it. Deny consumerism, save your money.