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this post was submitted on 11 Jun 2024
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parenting
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I've been gentle parenting and not disciplining and all the bad millennial parent stuff. I never once instructed my kid to say please and thank you and yet since I set an example of doing those things and I conduct myself in a manner that is prosocial my kid also does those things and has never been described as a little monster. They're almost 3 and I've not experienced this "terrible twos" thing.
Not that they'd deserve to be called a monster or anything similar if they were the most misbehaved little kid ever since, you know, they're a kid.
People say you can't reason with a toddler but they (all toddlers not just mine) understand a lot more than people give them credit for. They understand when you're talking about them as if they aren't there and will respond accordingly. They are people with a different set of priorities to yours that's it.
100%. They're just little people.
I think it comes down to kids often being a reflection of their parent (socially) and a lot of people not being conscious of how what their actual behavior is (or in particular the social behavior of the media figures they passively consume) is. In my experience, people whose kids misbehave in public (which oh no, they are getting a little loud and maybe breaking something accidentally or on purpose, who cares) are a lot more playfully sarcastic or misbehaving in public than they think they are.
It comes down to a level of conscious consistency that pretty much everyone I know does not follow. Those I know that do follow it seem to have very well behaved kids, even with no disciplinary measures.
If I'm sarcastic in public i try to say "daddy's pretending" or something similar. I am a bit of a silly guy but I'm aware of the eyes that see everything i do