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this post was submitted on 20 Jul 2023
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I reported her new boyfriend for installing spyware on her phone without her knowledge so he could spy on our conversations and I have heard him telling people information about me that he had obtained through the spyware. I told her I wouldn’t do it, but I talked to my therapist and they said I had to do something because she leaves her kid with him and he can continue doing this to other women in the future. She won’t press charges though.
You absolutely did the right thing and I understand why you feel like shit about it. It's definitely going to be rough to get through but just make sure you also protect yourself in all of this.
Thanks friend.
You did the right thing.
I mean, I really can't disagree with what you did. I speak as someone who makes my own spyware for adversary emulation purposes.
Abusive relationships can really fuck with judgements and warp what is acceptable. If her head is too clouded to not see the dangers then you needed to step in.
Thank you
What a piece of shit. That guy I mean ofc.
Why in the fuck would she keep fucking with some loser who installs spyware on her phone? Even leaving her kid with him?
Okay.
Okay. Read those again after this next part… she’s probably getting abused. Or is about to be. That level of controlling behavior is insane. It may not be physical yet, it may never get physical. But it’s likely she’s being emotionally abused and controlled.
I would definitely ask your therapist for guidance here. Or at least talk to them about it.
Despite it being awful- it’s still her choice to be in that relationship and it’s extremely unlikely anything you say is going to get her out of it; until she’s ready to leave.
It’s up to you if you want to move on from her, or try to stay “there” for her. Both paths are difficult and hard…
One. More time:
None of this is your fault. At all. There is nothing to feel guilty about.
Thank you friend
I saw your previous post and just wanna weigh in and say you did the right thing.
Yeah I deleted it in case shit hit the fan and I have too much detail, but fuck that guy now I don’t care. I’m just happy to have a place like this where I can ask advice and get peoples real experiences in situations like I’m currently in. I appreciate it.
Think what would happen if you'd stayed silent? It feels bad to talk to the cops, but bit the boyfriend was doing creepy stuff and breaking laws.
You did the right thing. Props.
Thank you.