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As a cyclist, I desperately need the drivers who try to intimidate me to step out of their big white vans. (hexbear.net)

submitted 4 months ago by ProfessorOwl_PhD@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net

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Please commit to your words and actions. Commit to the fucking turn you were going to make right in front of me, before stamping on the brakes at the last second. Commit to a fight after challenging me on not risking my life around your shitty driving.

Do I "want to fucking go"? You have no idea how much I want to fucking go. I have to cycle around idiots like you all day, if you step out of your armoured wankmobile i am going to sink my teeth into your flesh and not let go. I will bite your flabby fucking tits off. I will beat you with my fists and helmet and entire fucking bike until a kind samaritan pulls over to drag me away from your limp body.

Anyway, if I ever mysteriously stop posting you should be able to dox me by googling "cyclist eats driver UK".

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[-] HotAtForty@hexbear.net 32 points 4 months ago

You know how cowboys have those little star shaped things on their shoes to kick their horse to go faster?

Those but side mounted to ruin a cars paint job.

A bike but it was made by Q at Q-lab with retractable side blades that come out of the wheel.

Like, really car driver? Just to retouch your paint job on a single panel is worth more than my bike and I’m definitely fitter than you.