this post was submitted on 21 Aug 2024
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Lobbyist for big TP: Alright Senator, what do we gotta do to get that sweetheart contract selling toilet paper to the Navy?
Senator: Beans.
Lobbyist for big TP: Huh? Did you say, "Beans"?
Senator: Yes. Black beans, kidney beans, adzuki, red, white, pinto any kind will do really. Just beans... and lots of them.
Lobbyist: staring Oh... okay. Why?
Senator: Do you really think anybody will give a fuck if I'm getting paid in beans? And if anybody does give a fuck, I get to claim to be clinically insane. taps temple knowingly