her,,, expolde
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neurodiversity talk
does anyone else struggle with... being able to perceive things about other people? I'm thinking about this because I was talking with my best friend (who is also autistic) about COVID on campus, and he was mentioning that they would notice that people would sniffle and be congested in class. and I was like... I haven't noticed any of that in my classes. but then I realized that it was very possible that there were people who were audibly sick in my classes and I just never noticed, because this is the kind of thing that I never notice. I remember a time in 2022 when I was taking a train trip with a different friend, and they later talked about how anxious they were with how many people were sick on the train. and I thought about it and was like "wait, you're right... how did I not notice that myself?"my mom tells me too, that I don't "perceive" other people. usually she tells me this when she's angry at me and yelling, but I feel like there is a truth to it (as much as I hate to admit.) It's not that I'm intentionally an asshole to people or that I have "main character syndrome", I do not think that I am the main character of life or anything like that. I think I am a normal person who lives a normal life, one human among 8 billion, and I try my best to be polite and considerate and kind to people I encounter.
but I cannot pick up on things the way other people can. I've gotten better at reading my best friend, but that took months of them being the person I had the person I had by far the most contact with; and I'm still not great at it. I know it's a fairly common autistic experience to not be able to tell when people are making fun of you; I definitely have that. I also do struggle with being able to read people's emotions, which is par for the course for a lot of autistic people.
But here's another thing I don't notice — I never perceive it if/when people stare at me. I dress in a way that would invite stares (very loud and alternative), and yet I cannot remember a single person ever staring at me. I think it's kind of statistically impossible that nobody has ever stared at me, ever. this is literally the reason why I have never struggled with self-confidence when it comes to fashion. I don't perceive stares. And if people are giving me angry or judgemental looks or whatever, I extra can't perceive that.
I'm also incredibly gullible. I've fallen for a lot of scams in the past, especially when I was doing a lot of mutual aid stuff on social media back in the day. and looking back at it, there were a ton of signs that they were scams; and I would fall for them over and over. I just don't notice stuff.
And... body odor? Is that a thing people notice about other people? Because it's not something that has ever crossed my mind? Someone could smell atrocious and I simply would not pick up on it?
Maybe this is a reason why I don't get sensory overload from being in loud or crowded places. In fact, I find them exciting (yes, taking COVID precautions in 2024 does make it impossible to enjoy things that I want to enjoy, like live music.) Wait. Is this hyposensitivity?
I very much... live in my own world? Idk how to describe just the way that my brain works exactly here. It's not that I don't care about other people, I care about other people a lot. But I feel like my brain is wholly oriented inwards and not outwards... I simply don't perceive things. I don't know what this is, if anyone has any relevant resources I'd appreciate it. This is incredibly long and rambly. I guess I'll end it here.
Personally, no. I'm extremely perceptive of my environment. I can tell when I'm being stared at (men are way less sneaky than they think). I can hear people when they're exhibiting symptoms of COVID and the like. All of that stuff. This is entirely personal experience, so don't take it as gospel.
When I was young I was similar to how you describe in your first two paragraphs. I would take people at face value because I'd assume people were similar to me. I guess between being taken advantage of and being blind to things I made a concemtated effort to not let that happen going forward.
I got bullued a lot so I'm very perceptive of people taking the piss and I'm hyper aware of it. My natural mode is analysis too so I'm always looking for info and I default to psychoanalysis (I was great at psychology). I can sense emotion with my empathy more than from facial cues. For example if someone is upset or angry I feel it. I am wary of me staring a hole through people (autistic trait) but I can tell when I'm being looked/stared at.
I spent years analysing people so I can see between the lines so to speak too. My brand of autism comes with heightened senses too, smell and sound are tweaked so I can smell odours in separate rooms and my hearing range is in the upper human range. Unfortunately my sight is hampered with an astigmatism, I also have light sensitivity and need to sleep with a sleep mask. I also have misophonia so you have cons with the benefits.
I'd say a lot of this can be worked on, a lot can be gained by paying attention to people around you, make mental notes of little details etc.
sorry to but (butt?) in, but i'm curious about this:
do you ever struggle to identify which emotions are yours vs. other people's?
I struggle to feel happiness, I sometimes can tell in hindsight. Like if I notice I am humming but this would be a later acknowledgement like hours or a day later thinking back on the previous day.
Other people I feel their emotions more than my own at times, especially elevated emotion. Sometimes I don't know how to feel. Mostly for myself I feel nothing or level.
thank you, ive been mulling this over in between sleep. No answers on my end yet lol.
No worries ^^
::: spoiler no resources only anecdotes sorry
gullible is just honest/trusting tbh. There are things you can observe, things you can infer, but even that's subject to personal biases so why not take someone at their word instead?
And then to commit that to conscious analysis or even memory, pssh what am I some kinda social savant brain genius?
I'm pretty tolerant of BO but definitely notice it, pretty hypervigilant so likely overcorrect in the other direction instead. idk world is fuck born to die i am trash man