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My parents were (and still are) toxic people. So when I got married, I was bitching about my spouse because that's what I knew how to do. This went on for a while until my friend stopped me and said, "Hey, do you even like this person?"
It felt like being splashed with ice water, but he was so right. I stopped dissing my friends and my partner behind their backs and tried to stop that toxic 'ball and chain' sort of humor as soon as I possibly could.
Thanks, Marcos. You started a very long and necessary process of self discovery and healing. I'm so glad you said something that day.
I had a similar but in reverse. I was at the bar with some coworkers, 4 of them or so, and they were all bitching about their wives. They turned to me and I didn't have anything. I literally made something up, I was so on the spot. They laughed and the conversation moved on. It hit me though because it was like this cannot be healthy, is this what you actually think?
10 years later, 3 of them are divorced.