this post was submitted on 07 Apr 2025
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Honestly, I'm good. I never really used apps but I have had a lot of girlfriends through mutual friends and such. I'm just over it. I'm tired of romance and especially tired of sexuality. I just want to program computers.
Careful or you'll get exactly what you're asking for.
That's the goal, man. I would be happy to never have sex again. I always felt like it was more for her benefit than mine anyway.
Yes, I understand. But it's less about the sex & moreso the companionship. When you're 58 years old hanging out by yourself day in/day out, you may wish you'd put more effort into developing relationships.
Maybe not, I'm just saying.
I have sufficient companionship. Plenty of true friends who know and love the real me. I've been more fortunate in this than most people could hope to be if I'm being honest. I really think that when you take sex out of the equation, most of modern dating is a feeble attempt to foster this type of relationship. People are afraid to reveal their true self and so they seek one person they feel safe enough to do so with, when you can actually have this relationship with everyone you're close to if you're brave enough.
I love being friends with women but I don't love being romantically or sexually entwined with them. And I'm not attracted to men. So why pursue it? I socialize when I have the energy for it. In the rest of my free time, I want to write code.
Good to hear. I hope you continue having lots of fruitful relationships, you seem like a reflective person.
I actually think being physically intimate allows two people to become closer, unless they're asexual, of course (sounds like you might be).
And I agree with you about shallow relationships but, imo, it's dating apps that cause the problem, not sex.
Dating apps do not always allow relationships to blossom naturally. Tinder dates (or whatever) can feel more like job interviews. Real yucky stuff.
I agree that physical intimacy can make people become closer, but I'm not always sure that's for the best. I think it's better kept as something to enjoy after a deeper bond has already formed. Anyway, I'm not asexual but I am somewhere on that spectrum, not sure where though. Also yeah... when my friends tell me about their tinder dates I can't believe how transactional and almost algorithmic their date sounds. It's such a shame that it's the norm now.