I recommend homosexual dating.
this post was submitted on 07 Apr 2025
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Yeah, the only times in my life I couldn’t quickly get gay-laid were when I went through difficult times that left me temporarily rizzless.
I just look in the mirror, saves a lot of time
You assume people are actually getting to see your profile. There are no stats of that available though.
I don't know how good their algorithm is nowadays, but generally Tinder will show you profiles they think you'd want to match with, but ideally not get in a lasting relationship with. They want you to keep using the platform, not find true love.
If you get swiped left enough, Tinder won't really show you to most people. That part of their algorithm definitely works, it's easy. I'm not sure if they've yet found a way to quantify risk of lasting relationship.
Fuck the Capitalist commodification of love.
Drop the dating apps & muster up the patience go do things & meet people irl instead.
Women do not want to be approached in public.
We're better off regulating dating apps and predatory buisness practices, because people prefer to use apps.
Women as a whole want different things, and often don't know what they want from moment to moment. In my experience, most women prefer to be approached in public under some circumstances, and what those circumstances are differs wildly from woman to woman.
When & who it is/is not appropriate to approach is a totally separate issue from what I'm talking about.
I think the problem has more to do with the expectations of meeting people via dating apps vs organically irl, especially through common interests/activities.
Also, let's be real, regulating Capitalism does not work (look around).
Also, let’s be real, regulating Capitalism does not work (look around).
*looks around*
It seems to work fine around me. I peeked at your profile to confirm my assumption that you're American, and it seems I'm correct. I'd say it's partly a cultural issue in your country. The whole rugged individualism thing leads to a whole lot of anti-regulation sentiment. In my country even the ultraconservative "let's throw the gays in the oven and deport all black people to Africa" party isn't considering privatizing healthcare or education. The classical liberals are considering this, but this is where having a sane election system comes in. Since neither the conservatives nor the socdems agree, it's pretty hard for them to enact anything even if they do win an election, because "winning" an election usually means like ~30-40% of parliament seats and the ruling coalition is always a minimum of 2 parties, often 3. Plus the president's one and only power is that he can tell them to fuck off if a law seems unreasonable.
We currently have people from 6 parties in parliament, plus some people who were either thrown out of their party, or left it willingly.
We're pretty good at making noise if we don't like something, and while a lot of people complain about our MPs and ministers getting paid so much, it means they can live well enough without taking bribes. Party donations have limits that can get people into actual trouble if exceeded, and individual campaign donations aren't a thing. Political corruption gets the party fined and potentially individuals punished too. Even in municipal government corruption cases. There was a case that took several years, where a businessman approached a politician in the same party as the capital city's mayor, implying that if the mayor were to reduce certain legal costs on the department store his company was building, the party would receive a major donation - which it then did. The party got fined nearly 10x what they made from this deal, and two people received probationary sentences. This party, formerly a major player, can now barely afford their next election campaign. The company that owns the future department store has been fined more than once for not getting it done as fast as promised - because it's in a prominent location along the promenade.
We have tons of consumer protection laws too. Plus a government entity for consumer protection so you don't have to hire a lawyer and go to court to get your justice in a lot of cases. Similar for employment rights, etc. Fire someone without a paper trail to prove their incompetence or malice? You'll be paying them a hefty severance.
Take a class.
Agreed that the capitalist commodification of love sucks, but also, who even does things IRL anymore? And if you do, success rate isn't that great either, unless you abide by rules 1 and 2.
I'm no longer single, but when I was, there were two main activities I did outside of work. Gym - a place where it just feels wrong to approach women. And women never approached me. Bar - cozy local small community place where I had plenty of great conversations with a lot of people, many of whom were women, but most were in relationships already. Maybe it's the same for women as it is for men, where in a relationship you're more confident and thus have an easier time talking to strangers. Made some friends though.
When I was on Tinder, though, with my fairly mediocre appearance, I'd still get matches. Not every day, but at least a couple a month in even the slower periods and like half of them evolved into at least conversations (not a simple "hey" -> unmatch). Met some IRL. Both times I've been on Tinder, I eventually found someone there, though it was over a year in both cases (nearly 3 years second time). And both times the person I found was someone who'd pretty much just joined. I don't live in what I'd call a big city though.
Nowadays, I also work from home with no office option (unless I rent one for myself), so even shitting where I eat is not an option if I become single. What DO people do in their free time where they meet new people, besides nightlife activities? I'm not interested in drinking 2-3 nights a week anymore lol
Hobbies, classes, sports teams, volunteering
If you want to meet women, take a pottery class, join a softball league, take knitting lessons, join a book club, volunteer at a local animal shelter, go to the library regularly, join a protest, join a running or biking group, or even look around on one of those meetup apps for activities in your area
Maybe your problem was that you only went to your gym and your bar, instead of trying to meet new people? The point is, it's easy to get stuck into a routine, and swiping on Tinder often becomes part of the routine
I don't think I've ever met someone organically and then dated them
They say workplace relationships don't work and they're probably right, but the problem is that's the only place you ever meet anyone these days.
Before you started working you meet people at school, well, take classes and meet people you don't work with!
When you befriend the people at your workplace, you will also meet their friends.
That's wishful thinking. I might be befriendable, but I'm not fit to introduce to people.
Yeah I think that's common, but it's literally how we've been doing it since, well, forever.
Big Tech wants you to think it's scAAaRRrry BooOoOOo!
(I mean, tbf, sometimes it is. Also humiliating lol).
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Honestly, I'm good. I never really used apps but I have had a lot of girlfriends through mutual friends and such. I'm just over it. I'm tired of romance and especially tired of sexuality. I just want to program computers.
Fuck capitalism for sure, but the apps can still work. I know happily married couples who met on tinder. Not saying that it's everyone's experience, but still. The more avenues people are open to the better sometimes.
We're a happily married couple who met through OkCupid, back when that was decent!
Honestly, OKC back in its heyday was the place to be. So many of my friends made legitimate, genuine connections there. Devastating that they ended up being sold to match. OKC had plenty of people, but it was apparently the goto for all the nerds. A lot of them use meetup now, but there's really nothing like what it was for nerd/nerd dating.
The problem is when it works it's despite the algorithm not because of it. It's probably easier for women, as there are more men on dating sites and there are women on dating sites.
We'll have to make sure we're not looking through rose tinted lenses here, you know what they say, the odds are good but the goods might murder you.
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Tinder is a hellhole intentionally designed to keep people lonely and depressed so they'll pay up for the "gold" features. The gender split is well past 80/20 male/female so good luck with straight matches, and the number of bots they leave up to waste your swipes is incredibly high, so even that ratio is probably worse.
I'm pan and I can't even match with a guy lolol :(
Few years back I was on 5 dating sites, knocked it out the park on three of them. Got maybe 2 dates from Tinder and 1 from eHarmony (who I married!) Tinder was the first one I dropped, but they somehow fucked me out of an extra month or two.
Hinge worked for me. There was no pressure of "writing the perfect bio" - just pick 3 interesting questions that are insightful into who you are and you're off to the races.
Isn’t eHarmony a Christian dating site? I’ve heard people get bounced with no matches immediately based on some religious questions.
well, it's a religious site, so maybe try lying like most people do
Is there a dating site for followers of Baphomet?
Besides lemmy.
Weirdly appropriate username lol
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This is how you find out your profile’s bad.
I don’t know how applicable this is to this persons specifically, but here’s some general advice from someone who’s been on both sides (I’m trans), and got a high amount of matches either way.
Every woman I’ve spoken to about Tinder agrees :
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Men overwhelmingly have profiles with little to no info in their bio (most often copy-pasted jokes, extremely generic facts like “I like food and music”…)
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And poorly taken and/or cringe photos (posing with their car, half drunk with half a dozen other people, making a weird face, showing off nonexistent gains…)
If you want more matches, you need good pictures (not blurry, not from far away, not backlit) that stand out from the rest (especially, no one cares about your car. An expensive car is a huge douchebag redflag), and a bio that actually says something about your hobbies, world view, etc.
So, in summary, two steps :
- Actually be an interesting person (probably already true, but hard to fix if not)
- Communicate that properly (easier than you think, see above)
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In 2014 I tried an experiment. I let my profile run for two months. First couple of weeks I used a standard headshot type picture. Nothing. Then I switched to a picture of me playing the guitar. A couple of hits. Finally I switched to a picture of me wearing headphones and fiddling with my old sequencer. Tons of hits.
If you can't hit them with good looks (I'm not handsome) then at least use an interesting photo that tells a story and showcases an unusual or unique thing about you in a positive light.
Bingo! Can't remember the pics I used, but I went for several different looks so women would know what they were getting into, not just my very best. That comes across honest, because it is.
Aimed for pics of me doing interesting and active things like kayaking and cooking and such. No dead animals, hot rods, motorcycles, bros, etc. No stereotypical manly bullshit.
Also, inject some humor. Like an old friend told me about sales, "If they're laughing, they're buying." On one post I ended with, "And as god as my witness, I hate NASCAR." Ended up married to a huge NASCAR fan.
Pro tip for the guys: Setup an account as a woman looking for a man. Take an afternoon and dig around. See what the other guys are doing? Do not do that shit.
My wife still remembers one of the profile pics I had - I was goofing around wearing a super-sized cereal box on my head.
Had that one, a "normal" shot that was my profile picture, and some casual shot I don't remember now. Put that one up on my sister's advice, and that's the one that still stands out in my wife's mind!
I swear humans use confidence and humor the same way peacocks use tails. If you're comfortable being silly, it says a lot about where you're at socially.
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He must be doing something drastically wrong for not even the ThotBots to be matching with him.
the ThotBots
Are those the matches that only want to talk about World of Warcraft?
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