this post was submitted on 25 May 2025
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Manliness has always been a scam.
Source: me having grown up in the Balkans where manliness tends to reign supreme as a life goal
Manliness is an ideal intentionally placed out of reach. An insecurity to be exploited
Only if your conception of masculinity is stupid. There are plenty of manly role models out there, we've just largely decided not to pay them much attention.
The manliest man I can think of: Norm Abram. His achievements:
Made a living wearing flannel shirts
Excellent beard
Distinguished service award from the American Academy of Ophthalmology
Built a sailboat
said "Not roman orgy, roman ogee" on national television and got away with it
If you step out of line with what is considered acceptable (and The most toxic insecure men incent things to be afraid of out of nowhere) you get harshly punished. Learned this the hard way growing up trans
Trans man or woman?
In my experience, transfemme although trans men have had interesting things to say on the topic
I guess you got off the hamster wheel at some point. I imagine trans men being faced with this stuff.. That's not to say there's no toxic stuff on the femme side of things.
Oh yeah we got problems on the girl's side bit at least women aren't afraid soybeans is gonna take away their masculinity
The most dangerous beans.
Word
It's stupid on so many levels.
First off, it implies there is some sort or series of social masculine trait(s) that are in some way desirable. It gets even more stupid when this turns into expectations, like "you're a man, you should X".
It's kind of sad but not unsurprising that there's an industry trying to capitalize on the resulting insecurities.
I think it was a positive aspect of the MGTOW idea to reject these expectations and do your own thing.
I think mgtow pretty quickly became an incel movement, at least from what I saw on reddit.
That doesn't seem surprising. They both are misogyny plus not getting laid
Well like the other commenter said, it was ostensibly about guys just focusing on themselves and breaking out of the toxic trait of defining yourself by whoever is on your arm. That in itself is fine, and hell, even helpful. The issue is that it naturally attracted incels trying to be the aloof sigma that's too cool to bother with silly women.
This is a good movie, if you don't mind the blood and gore: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Northman
It follows the life story of a manly man... not something many would truly pursue for themselves even if they had the opportunity.
I was always told to be manly was to show up for those that you love. To be reliable and useful on a day to day basis. All this nonsense about dominance and "independence" is just ridiculous.
And it's entangled with paranoid, exclusive nationalism of the worst sort. It's no wonder the women there like foreign guys.