it's hot. also i'm growing cacti from seed which is new to me and i'm excited, a few of them are sprouting now. how are you?
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I had to find a new roommate this spring because my old one moved in with his gf. I thought it would be cool to live with another trans women. It was going to be a good friend, but then she backed out last minute and I went with a stranger. It went well for a while tho, we were friends and would do stuff together, and she was clean and stuff.
But recently, she began trying to touch me. Like sayiyshe was anxious and wanted a hug, leaving me no space when we were on the couch, weirdly putting her head on me. Then she straight up asked me out on a date.
Now besides the obvious issues with dating a roommate, I am not even slightly attracted to her. I don't think we have that sort of connection at all, whatsoever. I guess normally that would be fine, like if someone asks me out but im not interested, I just politely decline. But for some reason, this whole thing has really bothered me.
Part of it is because she's my roommate, so it's awkward. But idk I've also spent a bunch of time helping her with stuff, like getting her on a better HRT regimen, or recommending a place to get her hair cut, or shopping together. I felt happy to do those things because I love helping out other trans women. But idk, now I just feel used I guess. I find myself feeling really annoyed when I see her, and I barely want to talk. I have no idea how to make things right, cause the last four days it has been very awkward.
I wish it was easier to make trans friends in general without there having to be gay drama involved. A good platonic friend seems to me to be worth so much more than another confusing situationship. It's often so hypersexual when I meet other trans girls. Like I wanna hang out and do normal woman stuff, and instead I get invited to the Discord with the NSFW channel, and I'm forced to learn everyone's kinks, and if they hang out it's to try and get in my pants.
It makes me want to only befriend straight girls, but the worst part is that im not even straight. Maybe I just hate myself? Idk I would still never ask out my roommate.
pushing the boundaries like that with a roommate is not something i would consider acceptable. sorry you had to go through that. it would be one thing to just confess her attraction in an honest and direct way but the touching is very icky. solidarity comrade, i hope you can push through this and get back to normalcy, although it's unfair that that responsibility is even on you at all. if you were made to feel uncomfortable you def need to communicate that even tho ik it might be mad awkward. wishing you the best with navigating this ๐