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Judge Orders Everyone to Know This Piece of Shit from Covington, Not Seattle (theneedling.com)

submitted 1 day ago by CombatWombat@feddit.online to c/theonion@midwest.social

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This week a Seattle judge who ordered the man that threw a rock at an endangered monk seal return to Hawaii for court also ordered the general public to know this piece of shit is from Covington, not Seattle.

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[–] tal@lemmy.today 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

In the meantime, Hawaii was reportedly waiting for anyone in either Seattle or Covington to kick his ass too.

I mean, I know that they're joking, but:

https://www.hawaiinewsnow.com/2026/05/16/defense-attorney-explains-why-rock-was-hurled-endangered-monk-seal/

After the May 5 video surfaced, Lytvynchuk was assaulted by another man. Breiner said they know who he is, but they will not be pressing charges.

“He was beaten pretty badly. There were no broken bones, but yeah, he had welts all over his back, his head, shoulders,” Breiner said.

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.cafe 3 points 1 day ago

"The Monk Seals have a message for ya..."