this post was submitted on 18 May 2026
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I think it means Kurt Cobain was so obviously and genuinely gender/identity queer at a time when there wasn't a popular conception of such a thing that people who were also queer saw Kurt and realized that, at the very least, being a boy or girl, man or woman, doesn't need to be this one thing, which is socially reinforced in the negative.
Kurt expressed something we didn't have words for as young people in the early 90s. But as you dug deeper, it was all in Kurt's music, from the very beginning. It was drastically different from depictions of "transvestites" we had grown up with. And it was not just a token identification with conflicting gender identities, but deep grappling with all these inner thoughts, experience, worry, frustration, love. And everybody loved it. Through Nirvana's music, I think you could feel accepted for being queer, because Kurt's music was deeply resonant with many queer people's experience, and it was hugely popular and culturally prominent.
And there's Kurt with dirty long hair in a dress, beautiful blue eyes, looks like about to tell someone "fuck you* and bash someone over the head with his cheap Japanese Mustang, which Kurt was known to do. The coolest rockstar on the planet, in a thriftstore dress.
So maybe op meant something like, "I identified my own queerness when I saw Kurt's". But all this is made up just someone alive and infatuated with Nirvana at the time.
This is written in the booklet of Incesticide: