here's the picture that i saw when i was 11 that made me binary:
this post was submitted on 18 May 2026
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Fake news. Minimalism did not yet exist back then.
Minimalism was a forced choice at the time
Is that a 5 1/4" disk drive? From back when floppy disks were actually floppy.
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Before I came out as transfemme, I was in the city of Manaus in Brazil, traveling during Carnaval. Manaus is not terribly popular with foreigners, and I stood out as very white, very American, and very blonde, so lots of people would stare, want to talk with me, randomly touch my long hair, etc. All normal travel things.
During a concert however three guys were actively watching and inspecting me, all turned away from the stage to do so. They'd turn to talk to each other, and then turn right back to stare at me. Not so normal, and I was getting a little spooked and thinking about an exit plan, when they all came right up to me with a phone out.
One shouted over the crowd as he showed me his phone, "This you?!" and showed me a picture of Kurt Cobain. Hilarious, and seeing Kurt in a dress of course is even funnier now in hindsight. I said no, pointed out that he was dead, shook a couple hands, and they wandered off. Fun times.
Nice try, Kurt.
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More men should wear skirts and dresses. With right style even masculine men can look good with such clothes.
And long hair. Long hair is so beautiful and sexy that everyone should grow long hair despite of the gender.
As a bald man... Fuck your long hair encouragement! (Out of spite, and envy)
Fortunately for you, Scotland exists
FREEEDOOOOM!!
... for gender expression
As long as your gender expression is channelled along very strictly defined lines that define what tartan to wear, how to wear it, which accessories are allowed / required with it, etc.
I run in circles where dudes semiregularly wear kilts.
I've sat in a circle with other dudes where they were comparing brands of utility kilts. Lol
There are folks out there that wear them. It's just not super fashionable in a lot of circles. Unfortunately.
I run in circles
I also have a toddler. So yes.. I run in circles quite often.
Lmfao
In the 60s and 70s, feminists fought for the idea that people should feel free to dress and act however they wanted and not let their gender define them.
It seems like we've taken some steps backwards since then. Men wearing dresses is more accepted now, but only in the narrow confines of being trans. I don't think Kobain or Bowie ever wanted to be defined as trans, they just wanted to be themselves and challenge cultural norms.
There's a sort of societal pressure to present as your gender when you're trans simply because it's safer and the alternative is often being misgendered and marginalized. it's also really scary to change presentation early on so early in the transition is when you'll see many sort of "overcorrect" and go overly femme or masc, but many are perfectly happy to be gender non-conforming, and many try less hard as they get more comfortable with themselves.
There's also the growing trend of femboys or guys that present more feminine, and I see guys painting their nails more than before these days.
I think a celebrity making a gesture or doing something symbolically is really cool, but at the end of the day the real signs of a cultural shift is what regular people are doing casually, and to me it feels like there's something shifting, even if it's slow going and there's pushback.
PS the trans dress thing sounds sort of accidentally transphobic, but looking at your profile I don't think that was intentional and is just an issue of phrasing.
I've noticed that many people don't really care that much when I present feminine in public, and that it's also the same for many other femboys as well. So I think public perception of it is at least neutral. Things are getting better these days, even if it is slow. I think that until people are doing it casually though it'll always be seen as something fringe or queer. Not necessarily a bad thing, but not widely accepted as normal like how women wearing pants is.
It seems like we’ve taken some steps backwards since then. Men wearing dresses is more accepted now, but only in the narrow confines of being trans. I don’t think Kobain or Bowie ever wanted to be defined as trans, they just wanted to be themselves and challenge cultural norms.
I wouldn't agree with that wording, it's more like people see wearing a dress or a skirt as something that makes you a woman (or woman-adjacent). They don't see it as socially acceptable for a man to wear a dress or skirt not because they think it's unacceptable but because they see him as a woman, or wanting to be a woman. Trans women aren't men wearing dresses, trans women are women, who sometimes wear dresses.
The conflict here is that men (or masculine/androgynous enbies) who wear dresses aren't women and don't see themselves as such. So other people seeing them as women or wanting to be women for their fashion choices sucks. I agree that Kurt Kobain and David Bowie if they were alive today probably wouldn't want to be defined as trans. Many GNC people today face hardship because society expects them to want to be women due to how they dress. Although I have noticed that getting better. Egging and Egg culture is way less acceptable these days, and most people in the community can recognize how nasty it is to dismiss someone's identity and call them the wrong pronouns on purpose. 4 years ago I wouldn't be so sure of that because it happened so much in queer communities I felt unsafe being open about my gender non-conformity online.
i remember reading that in the medieval age, most noble men had long hair because it was a sign of wealth and such
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okay but are those jorts underneath the dress?
I get wearing some shorts underneath for safety, believe me. I remember being a smol femboy insecure about my body and posture. but jorts? jorts‽
It was the early 90s, of course they're jorts
This is what can be achieved when you leave fear behind
No, those are jeans cut into shorts
Terrible news champ, when you cut jeans into shorts length you create jorts.
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To be fair it looks like Kurt is also wearing a t-shirt... the dress is probably over an outfit
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Estrogen would've saved her 😞
I genuinely believe this. I really think Kurt was trans and not coming to terms with that caused a lot of pain.
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He's kinda cute.
The neck snap at the end perfectly sums up how horrifying this is
That implies one can be un-made from non-binary or made straight or made gay. Is this true?
I think it means Kurt Cobain was so obviously and genuinely gender/identity queer at a time when there wasn't a popular conception of such a thing that people who were also queer saw Kurt and realized that, at the very least, being a boy or girl, man or woman, doesn't need to be this one thing, which is socially reinforced in the negative.
Kurt expressed something we didn't have words for as young people in the early 90s. But as you dug deeper, it was all in Kurt's music, from the very beginning. It was drastically different from depictions of "transvestites" we had grown up with. And it was not just a token identification with conflicting gender identities, but deep grappling with all these inner thoughts, experience, worry, frustration, love. And everybody loved it. Through Nirvana's music, I think you could feel accepted for being queer, because Kurt's music was deeply resonant with many queer people's experience, and it was hugely popular and culturally prominent.
And there's Kurt with dirty long hair in a dress, beautiful blue eyes, looks like about to tell someone "fuck you* and bash someone over the head with his cheap Japanese Mustang, which Kurt was known to do. The coolest rockstar on the planet, in a thriftstore dress.
So maybe op meant something like, "I identified my own queerness when I saw Kurt's". But all this is made up just someone alive and infatuated with Nirvana at the time.
This is written in the booklet of Incesticide:
At this point I have a request for our fans. If any of you in any way hate homosexuals, people of different color, or women, please do this one favor for us - leave us the fuck alone! Don't come to our shows and don't buy our records.
Scientists have not found that pic yet.
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