Day by day I begin to wonder more and more if I can even call myself a communist anymore. Its becoming hard to really reconcile my faith with communism if the ideology itself is theorically opposed to it. Bukharin's book, "ABCs of Communism," has an entire section on Chapter 11 that directly talks about why religion and communism are incompatible. Communists believe history is driven by class struggle and material conditions. Religious people believe in stuff like divine intervention or divine will. A communist would probably look at islam (my faith) and be like "No prophet was sent a message by God and acted upon it, it was their material conditions that made them act." I don't see how one could believe both, it feels like its either or.
Sure, it is perfectly possible for religious people to largely agree with Marxists on such things as historical materialism and present-day class struggles, not to mention struggles for national liberation, against racism, etc. It is possible be anti-capitalist and fight for a classless, moneyless, and stateless society where MOP is colletively owned but at the end of the day, there is philosophical tension.
I feel at best, I can be an ally, but the way I see it, I will never be one of them. I do not belong. My voice does not count equally and my beliefs make me suspect. I have faced hostility from leftists that are atheist and hostile towards religion and been called a revisionist. If this is how me and others are gonna be treated just because of our faith, I'd rather die than simply be used as cannon fodder in a revolution.
Also, to the point about hostility from atheists, keep in mind that some of us come from pretty awful experiences with religion and the hostility is probably not personal, but is a side effect of that.
Personally, I try to be accommodating about it, but I had to go through a lot of introspection and reasoning in order to reject my religious upbringing and find my way to atheism, so there is a certain amount of staunchness behind it that can be hard to sugarcoat and I mostly just refrain from getting into that subject with people. Some religious claims are absurd to me to a strong degree, which is part of the reflex I developed for rejecting the beliefs in the first place, and I'm aware it might upset a religious person if I voiced my thoughts about their claims in blunt terms. But it's also not really fair if I'm supposed to be nice about it, but when they are fervent to me about what they believe, that's fine; this is more an issue with proselytizing though, than anything else.