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most perverted men are actually very vanilla and run away when faced with a perverted woman
(lemmy.world)
this post was submitted on 16 Jun 2026
548 points (92.5% liked)
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Kink is weird. There are some things that are considered kinky but aren’t super kinky (biting, feet, degradation/praise, ect) that can be done with anyone if the vibe is right. Then there are kinky kinks that are a little less common and require more trust and familiarity to be done safely.
Kinky for me is to be tied down and have hot wax poured over me while I’m blindfolded. Or free use / cnc type stuff, being available 24/7 without word at literally anytime to be used as they please. Or ddlg / age regression with a daddy dom that extends outside of the bedroom.
Idk, I feel like these are still pretty vanilla. At least as far as the people in this thread are saying "I'm soooo kinky".
Of course, this is all the societal hedonic treadmill in kink. All kink becomes vanilla eventually. But at this point I feel like it isn't "real" kink unless it makes me queasy or say "what the fuck?" Like, furries, pet play, shit, piss, vomit, blood, asphyxiation, and sounding are "real" kink to me. Anything that boils down to basically "you're in charge of me" or "you inflict pain on me" is pretty vanilla.
And then I've heard of being set on fire and sensory deprivation, which seems less like a kink and more like a silly experience / party trick
hot
I think it’s jaded to consider ddlg or cnc vanilla but idk man. I’m not here to gatekeep what is or isn’t kinky enough to be kinky, I’m just positing the model of distinction to be things that could be achieved with with a stranger through simple body language, and things that require more intent / communication/ set up to be achieved.
Being set on fire, feels more fetishistic / excentrism than kink to me but I’m not Mr Webster so idk.
I've never liked CNC sex. Feels more like masturbation with a safety officer. Prefer those kinds of tools be operated manually.
To each their own, masturbation doesn’t do it for me personally
Shibari is normal for me. That's just my jam. Not into impact, blood, not super into choking, but can do it more-or-less safely if that's what my partner enjoys receiving. No shit or piss (technically squirting is mostly pee, but somehow that's okay). I like tying a partner up, blindfolding them, and then alternating between soft/erotic touch and riding crop/paddle/etc. Or tickling, but that's one is a bit risky, since I had a partner that nearly dislocated a shoulder straining at the ropes. Feet are meh, biting is okay, wax seems like a pain to clean up.
Had a partner that really wanted to be 'abducted' and 'raped'; never got around to it before we broke up. It would have been risky in a big city, but still...
Iv seen rape play go about as wrong as it can and now I absolutely fucking hate the idea of any form of power dynamic that can be abused.
To be short, a good friend ended up having a girl convince him to tie her up and "rape" her. She arranged to have a friend show up and call the cops.
Ruined his entirely life. He's still in jail from it. They had dated for a bit over a year and till then I had thought they were a great couple. She just turned out to be a raging fucking cunt who wanted all his shit.
Fucking stole everything from him basically.
Swear to God it feels like the only reason she got away with it is she was white and he was black.
...Jesus.
Remind me to start getting negotiations on video...