this post was submitted on 16 Jun 2026
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[–] blarghly@lemmy.world 5 points 23 hours ago (2 children)

Kinky for me is to be tied down and have hot wax poured over me while I’m blindfolded. Or free use / cnc type stuff, being available 24/7 without word at literally anytime to be used as they please. Or ddlg / age regression with a daddy dom that extends outside of the bedroom.

Idk, I feel like these are still pretty vanilla. At least as far as the people in this thread are saying "I'm soooo kinky".

Of course, this is all the societal hedonic treadmill in kink. All kink becomes vanilla eventually. But at this point I feel like it isn't "real" kink unless it makes me queasy or say "what the fuck?" Like, furries, pet play, shit, piss, vomit, blood, asphyxiation, and sounding are "real" kink to me. Anything that boils down to basically "you're in charge of me" or "you inflict pain on me" is pretty vanilla.

And then I've heard of being set on fire and sensory deprivation, which seems less like a kink and more like a silly experience / party trick

[–] basxto@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 9 hours ago

being set on fire

hot

[–] VirtigoMommy@sh.itjust.works 2 points 14 hours ago

I think it’s jaded to consider ddlg or cnc vanilla but idk man. I’m not here to gatekeep what is or isn’t kinky enough to be kinky, I’m just positing the model of distinction to be things that could be achieved with with a stranger through simple body language, and things that require more intent / communication/ set up to be achieved.

Being set on fire, feels more fetishistic / excentrism than kink to me but I’m not Mr Webster so idk.