Dude, "hired gun who worked at the torture prison and used to complain on social media that large-scale wars take the fun out of fighting, but has now retired to a quiet life as an oyster farmer and domestic abuser" is a character description from a Shadowrun campaign or some 00s action movie with washed-out colors and lots of slurs and souped-up Audis. That's a fucking carricature, that's less human than the vat-grown candidates you complain about.

Also why the hell is the idea Amerikan social democrats have of a relatable everyday person always, without fail, a horribly problematic white guy who makes every woman in a 200m radius cover her drink? What the fuck is up with that? You are consultants, you should know which demographics vote Democrat, you should know which demographics skew progressive, you should know which demographics skew left-leaning, you should know who does actual activism and is willing to go out and mobilize people for a left-ish candidate, NONE of these groups is represented by a middle-aged white cishet dude. None. Not even if we leave the war crimes and the SA and the nazi tattoos aside.

I want to forcefeed them Settlers.