this post was submitted on 12 Jul 2026
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[โ€“] cerebralhawks@lemmy.dbzer0.com 33 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I assume they already know and have made the decision to not let it bother them.

Since he came up in conversation yesterday, I'll use him as an example: say someone comes up and says how Chris Brown is such a good singer.

If I have any opinion on his actual singing, the conversation can go well even if I think, say, Drake is a better singer. (I did explicitly choose two R&B singers with different controversies.)

But if I say "yeah but did you see the police pictures of what he did to Rihanna's face?", then I feel like we're about to be in a fight. They're a fan, they probably already know. I just don't see that conversation going well.

You could say that you don't like artists who abuse others without directly referring to the specific incident, but if they ask you about who you like, you really have to be careful who you put up on your pedestal, lest they call you out as a hypocrite.

So I let it go.

Now if an American is telling me he likes Chris Brown, he likes Drake, and he supports Elon Musk and Donald Trump, he's pretty much told me his position on women (and minorities) and I know this is a person to keep at arm's length. I'll speak to them, I'll be polite to them, but I'm not going to introduce them to my younger sister or her 13-year-old daughter (if I had a younger sister, and if she had a 13-year-old daughter). But if they just wanna talk music, sure, we can have that conversation. I'd rather speak with someone who thinks it's not okay to beat women, who thinks it's not okay for grown men to have inappropriate relations with young girls, but if we're just a couple people online separated by a huge distance talking about music? That's fine.

This approach works for a lot of different topics.

For example, I'm an atheist. If someone I'm talking to is just brings up their faith I'm not going to go out of my way to start an arguement.

But if they're start being argumentative, like coming up with bad faith arguments to bash gays or atheists, then I'll push back. Usually gently at first, but if they keep going then the kiddie gloves come off.

Thankfully, most people I interact with (at least irl) know to not be an asshole. I get that not everybody has that luxury though.