Yeah, I am feeling a bit of doubt that I have the will and the experience to organise effectively, but again, it isn't just me alone, of course I don't have the experience and will to organise by myself, it's a group effort, this is how I should be feeling about it, the need to work with others, the want to work with others. I don't know why I've never really made that connection reading theory before. Maybe it's because this is more personal accounts than more abstract theory, accounts of regular Soviet citizens, not a major leader of a movement. I've never felt like I'm "vanguard party" material, but this is the first time I've ever really felt ok with that I guess, I just need to help others as much as I can. I might try bringing this book up with a few local orgs I work with. It might just get put on an ever expanding reading list (as is tradition) but it also might really help them, there's no harm in trying.