this post was submitted on 13 Dec 2025
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My favourite is the idea that mary was hooking up with the wise men and either kept it secret or was clueless about reproduction and they were tricking her and the wise men came bearing gifts because each thought they were the father
I have a fun head-canon that combines Christian mythology with that of ancient Rome and/or Greece. It all starts with Jesus's animal metaphors. Jesus is a lamb of God. Jesus is a dove of peace. Jesus is represented with a drawing of a fish.
So it seems that Jesus has interesting shapeshifting powers. Sounds reminiscent of another deity, doesn't it? Zeus famously transformed into animals in order to seduce women. He also had a jealous wife, Hera, who frequently punished his extra-marital partners.
My thinking goes that Zeus seduced Mary once upon a time. However, knowing his wife's wrath, he never disclosed it, and advised Mary to say she was a virgin in order to throw her off Hera's radar.
Thus, Jesus the shape-shifting son of God was born. In a manger, of all places. Perhaps Zeus was there to support Mary in the form of a sheep or something.
animorph jesus ?
Jezeus
This sounds just as believable as the bible, with it's magical sky daddy.....
oh gods...
Maybe they were wise for not bringing it up until they'd seen the baby.
bible says jesus was ugly as ugly babies get.
Like a reverse Mama Mia! situation.