this post was submitted on 14 Dec 2025
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Recently I have tried to do this "touching grass" thing, again, and it's difficult. Any fleeting joy of participating in this thing we call society, the moment I notice a homeless person struggling, it just evaporates. How can I enjoy participating in social events when most of them involve exchange of goods that could have been used for the purposes of helping those in need?

Do I need to donate a certain % of my income and then I get a pass? Well I don't have an income, how much do I need to give then? Should I deduct a % of any money I get and set that aside for donations? Should I donate to local causes or international? Who gets the priority? Can I justify spending any money on things like a movie ticket to see a movie with friends, why so? What makes me more important than the person struggling on the street right next to the theater?

Are there any resources or guides you could point me towards? Is this something you've struggled with and found ways to cope with it? If so how have you managed?

(edit: I made an update in the comments. )

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[–] HamiltonMusicalFan@hexbear.net 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You need to take care of your basic needs before you can help others. If you don't have an income then start with getting a job and an independent life. You can't bail out other people's boats if you're currently drowning

[–] RedSturgeon@hexbear.net 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

My basic needs are covered, that's not what this post was about. I had to quit doing what I was doing because it was too damaging to my health that's all. Obviously I am looking for employment why wouldn't I?

Also I'm not dependent on anyone. I just can't say what I do so I stay vague about shit.

[–] HamiltonMusicalFan@hexbear.net 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Okie dokie. You seem a little defensive. "I don't have an income" while stressing about how much money to donate to causes / homeless people just kinda stood out to me and reminds me of a lot of friends who have had similar struggles.

Anyway, I used to think a lot like you - It's really hard to enjoy life when there are other people suffering, yes. But at the end of the day you can't save the world, so prioritise yourself and people in direct community with you.

For deciding what to commit energy / funds to, I personally try and stay within my sphere of influence so that the gains for me and my community have force multipliers if that makes sense at all.

[–] RedSturgeon@hexbear.net 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Yeah I am having a hard time keeping it together. I'm sorry it's not your fault.

Anyway from reading your other comments in this thread it sounds like the thing that's bothering you the most is your paperwork / identification. It's also likely there are LGBTQ legal aid volunteer programs in your country that will help you process the necessary paperwork and possibly assist with financing it.

So if that isn't impossible to change, keep job hunting and save the finances and get it done. You aren't screwing anyone over by prioritising yourself. Not sure where you're at, but surely it isn't a completely insane amount of money

best of luck