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Community Rules
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Be nice. Assume others have good intent (within reason).
Block or ignore posts, comments, and users that irritate you in some way rather than engaging. Report if they are actually breaking community rules.
Use content warnings and/or mark as NSFW when appropriate. Most posts with content warnings likely need to be marked NSFW.
Most 196 posts are memes, shitposts, cute images, or even just recent things that happened, etc. There is no real theme, but try to avoid posts that are very inflammatory, offensive, very low quality, or very "off topic".
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Avoid AI generated content.
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Moderator Guidelines
Moderator Guidelines
- Don’t be mean to users. Be gentle or neutral.
- Most moderator actions which have a modlog message should include your username.
- When in doubt about whether or not a user is problematic, send them a DM.
- Don’t waste time debating/arguing with problematic users.
- Assume the best, but don’t tolerate sealioning/just asking questions/concern trolling.
- Ask another mod to take over cases you struggle with, if you get tired, or when things get personal.
- Ask the other mods for advice when things get complicated.
- Share everything you do in the mod matrix, both so several mods aren't unknowingly handling the same issues, but also so you can receive feedback on what you intend to do.
- Don't rush mod actions. If a case doesn't need to be handled right away, consider taking a short break before getting to it. This is to say, cool down and make room for feedback.
- Don’t perform too much moderation in the comments, except if you want a verdict to be public or to ask people to dial a convo down/stop. Single comment warnings are okay.
- Send users concise DMs about verdicts about them, such as bans etc, except in cases where it is clear we don’t want them at all, such as obvious transphobes. No need to notify someone they haven’t been banned of course.
- Explain to a user why their behavior is problematic and how it is distressing others rather than engage with whatever they are saying. Ask them to avoid this in the future and send them packing if they do not comply.
- First warn users, then temp ban them, then finally perma ban them when they break the rules or act inappropriately. Skip steps if necessary.
- Use neutral statements like “this statement can be considered transphobic” rather than “you are being transphobic”.
- No large decisions or actions without community input (polls or meta posts f.ex.).
- Large internal decisions (such as ousting a mod) might require a vote, needing more than 50% of the votes to pass. Also consider asking the community for feedback.
- Remember you are a voluntary moderator. You don’t get paid. Take a break when you need one. Perhaps ask another moderator to step in if necessary.
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As a sub, the thing you need to understand is that a lot of subs are bad at it. It's easy to give power up to some theoretical person who will do whatever you fantasize about without any of the guilt of asking for it or reciprocating what they want.
Including dommes introduces room for conflict, it introduces room for failure on both parts, it introduces room for you to feel bad that some of what you want is effort for your partner and that your partner may want some stuff that you may not necessarily want. It's vulnerability.
The "do-me sub" is a perennial complaint in actual kink communities. They drive off dommes, especially dominant women who aren't as comfortable saying no (and some don't bother listening to nos). They often come from online fantasy spaces filled with kink from exclusively submissive perspectives and they often make femdom spaces uncomfortable.
If anything though, the existence of a rule means there was a perceived need for one. Often online kinks like this have no such rule because nobody has burst their bubbles by telling stories about dommes dealing with illness or workplace discrimination or being harassed by the cops and how that would impact a d/s dynamic. No they're little worlds of minor kings and queens, escapist fantasies in which every dominant is perfectly in control and perfectly in tune with their sub. This rule means that the target audience saw this and wanted to tell stories of politics, of the struggles of aliens attempting to keep an extremely high maintenance pet happy, but unwilling to consider freeing it.
It's so fucking ironic that these subs want someone to tell them what to do, but in practice, they make up a fake dom who only ever tells them to do what they already want. What's the point of having the fake dom in the story if the sub is still in charge? It's just like you say, they're bad subs. They misunderstood the point, and want all of the power with none of the responsibility.
In a consensual relationship doms should only be telling subs to do things they consent to of those, but that's not what HDG is! This is a sex slavery story! Fucking missing the point is what this is. If you want a perfect smart mummy to take complete control of you, why are you in complete control of her, not even doing her the dignity of writing her character with plausible motivations and nuance? Characters can take on a life of their own in a work of fiction, but I'm getting the sense very few HDG writers allow that to happen.
This is so disappointing.