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I can go worse, but not as stupid. Still, worse. Crazy thing, found multiple guys on reddit with the exact same story.

If you want out now, tl;dr: Don't jack it with hair conditioner. This had happened 4 times over a couple of years till I put the pieces together.

Jacked off the usual way, manually, sans lube, typical Tuesday. Same day, still horny, hair conditioner in the shower, little extra friction, but I score, because I am not a quitter. Est GOOOOOALL!

6 hours: Laying in bed reading, tuggin' my junk, kinda itchy.

12 hours: Really itchy, bail for inspection. Circumcision scar down (or up, depending on orientation), pink, puffy, as if lightly sanded with masking tape marking the work area, perfect demarcation. Applied antibiotic unguent for good measure, boxer briefs now contain the anomalous zone.

24 hours: Penis angry, Red Hulk angry. Praying for the itch to return, hurts to wear pants, cannot walk. Another antibiotic poultice, wrapped with thin gauze and tape. Walking now. Weeping a bit.

36 hours: Skin turning brown, turning black, sloughing off. I'll not elaborate. Skin. Off. Tears.

48 hours: Final flesh chunking off, bright new skin underneath. The pain. Kill. Me. DO NOT TOUCH ME!

(vader_burn_robots_pick_flesh.jpg.)

60 hours: Still cannot walk, the wrappings, they do nothing! I smell like a corpse, I dare not shower, dare not wet the thing that has become my nightmare, my master of pain.

72 hours: Fresh epidermis, merely a sunburn, dare not wrap him again. I fear the wrap for reasons I cannot articulate. I lay naked in bed, legs spread to accept what healing oxygen may come, fearful of raising it's wrath again.

96 hours: Mostly new member, thanking both new and forgotten gods, cautious limp. I rejoin mankind.