this post was submitted on 12 Jan 2026
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DHS warns any action by Americans will be treated as domestic terrorism (theonion.com)
submitted 1 month ago by Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/theonion@midwest.social
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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/41508279

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[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

If it's not an apartheid orange from Israel, that's terrorism.

[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It's from Costco. Oh shit, This morning I got up from the couch and I took a shower and had breakfast and drove to work. I'm not sure if any of that is not legal anymore.

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That depends: are you a cishet rich white Christian man who loves fascism?

If not, I'm afraid that merely existing is grounds for summary execution.

[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'm gonna need a second opinion from a different doctor LOL.

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 month ago

Fair enough. I'll get you a referral for Ronny "Candy Man" Jackson.