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The Onion

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DHS warns any action by Americans will be treated as domestic terrorism (theonion.com)

submitted 1 month ago by Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/theonion@midwest.social

11 comments fedilink hide all child comments

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/41508279

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[–] Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Can it be satire if it’s true?

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 month ago

Yes

[–] Glytch@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

It's gotta be hard to be a satirical journalist when you know you're writing next week's real headlines.

[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)

How about just eating an orange?

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

If it's not an apartheid orange from Israel, that's terrorism.

[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It's from Costco. Oh shit, This morning I got up from the couch and I took a shower and had breakfast and drove to work. I'm not sure if any of that is not legal anymore.

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That depends: are you a cishet rich white Christian man who loves fascism?

If not, I'm afraid that merely existing is grounds for summary execution.

[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'm gonna need a second opinion from a different doctor LOL.

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 month ago

Fair enough. I'll get you a referral for Ronny "Candy Man" Jackson.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The eating of an orange is a lot like a domestic terrorism

[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 1 points 1 month ago

No!!! What should I do now!