Not The Onion

19501 readers

1274 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

Links to news stories from...
...credible sources, with...
...their original headlines, that...
...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

kescusay@lemmy.world

895

Anger as suspect in $100M jewelry heist said to be biggest in US history avoids standing trial – because ICE deported him (www.independent.co.uk)

submitted 5 days ago by bytesonbike@discuss.online to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

96 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Last month, federal officials allegedly deported one of the suspects in a massive 2022 jewelry heist in Southern California where thieves made off with $100 million in merchandise, in what prosecutors have called the largest jewelry heist in U.S. history.

Jeson Nelon Presilla Flores was sent to Ecuador on or about December 29, according to court documents obtained by The Los Angeles Times. He was believed to be linked to a raid on a Brinks truck that netted a fortune in stolen jewels, gold and watches.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] ArmchairAce1944@discuss.online 15 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Holy fuck! 100 million smackers? That's like what Jeff Bozos makes in a gnats's coffee break. But still...

I hope he fucking kept all of it and posts pictures of him smoking cigars and snorting blow off a hooker's boobs while having Batman and Robin playing in the background with Arnie's depiction of Mr. Freeze saying 'Iced to meet you!'

[–] Lucelu2@lemmy.zip 2 points 3 days ago

He will be on a beach somewhere, in some lovely resort... or on a yacht in the bay that he purchased with his ill-gotten gains.

[–] selokichtli@lemmy.ml 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Is that the current version of the American dream?

[–] ArmchairAce1944@discuss.online 1 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Always has been.

[–] selokichtli@lemmy.ml 2 points 3 days ago

Oh. Oh, suddenly everything makes sense.