Fucking LOL. That's amazing.

"Anger as suspect in ＄100M jewelry heist said to be biggest in US history avoids standing trial – because ICE paid for and aided his getaway."

The officials said Flores appeared at an immigration hearing on December 16, where he represented himself, and admitted to the allegations against him then requested voluntary departure.

If a bunch of morons offer you a get out of jail free card and a one way ticket to freedomville, you take it.

The prosecutors added they “remain eager to prosecute defendant for his crimes and vindicate his victims” if he returns to the country.

That dude won the jackpot, cashed in his chips, walked out the front door, and he is never coming back.

This whole story couldn't be more ridiculous if it were a Looney Toon's episode.

Step 1. Commit ~~crime~~ act of civil service, Luigi-style.

Step 2. Submit yourself to ICE using a false identity for voluntary deportation.

Step 3. Allow the U.S. government to smuggle you out of the country where they no longer have jurisdiction to prosecute you.

Step 4. Laugh as the crypto-fascists get up on stage and boast about how tough on crime they are.

edit: formatting because phones are stupid.

The perfect crime 😎

ICE probably thinks it did its job because the people in it are incapable of thinking that people can have a comfortable life outside of the US, never mind a better one. So basically, they literally helped an immigrant steal $100 million from the US and make away with it because they had an accent and the wrong skin color - which opens up the possibility of just acting like a bad caricature of an immigrant to get free deportations after criminals carry out their crimes.

You get fast-tracked from whatever consequences you would have had to just getting deported, and you didn't even have to bribe Trump with 2 million dollars. Thanks, ICE!

that happens when high quotas are set as Miller did, ice agents will deport no matter what to fulfill

edit: do Maduro next

Lately I've heard a lot of officials say somethimg along the lines "if they come here and start causing problems, we're gonna deport them." but I never hear them say whether or not the problem-causing immigrants are facing justice. prior to being deported.

I'm happy for the dude and wish him well

WIth or without the jewelry?

Edit:

Much of the merchandise has not been recovered.

Holy fuck! 100 million smackers? That's like what Jeff Bozos makes in a gnats's coffee break. But still...

I hope he fucking kept all of it and posts pictures of him smoking cigars and snorting blow off a hooker's boobs while having Batman and Robin playing in the background with Arnie's depiction of Mr. Freeze saying 'Iced to meet you!'

It hurt itself in its confusion!

I mean they said they wanted to deport criminals lol

Justice? No, Just ICE. What did they think would happen when they started targeting courts and going after people just for getting charged with a crime? They already fucked over a bunch of people by pardoning convicted criminals who owed a ton of restitution.

Serious criminals are allowed to just walk away, but poor granny has to be dragged from her home kicking and screaming. Maybe it's not about enforcing laws at all, eh? Start calling a spade a spade and stop dancing to their drum.

Gotta fill the quota. Dude probably traded it for bitcoin and can now live large

Incompetence and cruelty are the hallmarks of this administration.

FIRST you Libtards COMPLAINED when we were Shooting Mothers in the Face and Kidnapping Children and NOW You're complaining when we're ACTUALLY Deporting Criminals! There's NO PLEASING YOU!

-Hakeem Jeffries!

Sometimes the system works.

Go off, king.

Well you know what they say about broken clocks. Good on Jeson, I hope he gets away with it. What a legend.