Microblog Memes

Maybe I don't recommend it, but my bus love story is cute so I'll share. Moved from a small town to a big (ish) city for college and took the bus every day. So did one of my neighbors who I recognized to be from a neighboring small town. Whenever the bus was busy we'd sit together, and nearby if not. We are both SUPER introverted but after a year we knew each other pretty well. She would try to catch pokemon when the bus would slow down which was always an exciting moment. Then when YuGiOh Dual Links came out we were both playing it non-stop (I wish that game didn't power creep so much, or I'd still be playing it).

Anyway, we'd sometimes run into each other on walks and then walk together. Share baked goods and all that. But YuGiOh was what actually gave us an excuse to hang out (so we could play each other). We were both busy with college and so we had "the talk" where we basically both said we weren't interested in a romantic relationship at the time. I think we both meant it, but somehow it made us relax around each other more. Suddenly we were best friends (with benefits), going out to eat, doing homework together, making sure we took the same bus as much as possible. It was really easy and not a demanding thing. We both knew we were busy and had goals, we just also tried to spend time together when we could. After probably four months of that we realized we were in love and just pretending we were too busy for commitment. Nothing changed and today we're happily married and still working hard on our careers. But we play Magic The Gathering now.

I have a decently strong in-person social anxiety that I bash my way through on a regular basis, it's exhausting, but I need to make the connections sometimes for my kids.

I can only offer you anecdotal evidence, but it's rarely worth it. The vast majority seem to have some major dysfunction. Racist, sexist, abusive, anti-science, anti-climate, conspiracy theorist, narcissist, It's like we can't survive as a species without ticking at least a few truly unsavory checkboxes. I get it, we're all different, and there are a bunch of disappointing checkboxes that I dgaf about and overlook.

You can find tons of people with whom you can hold a 5-minute enjoyable conversation. Just don't go too deep.

We seem, as a species, to do best when we have a common thing to complain about. It bridges gaps and usually gets the least rejection. A tiny pop of sarcasm about something that is going wrong in a shared experience will often net you a quick, low energy conversation.

I don't think they really are, but there's lots of lonely people out there open to chance encounters. Transit's one of those rare spaces where diverse groups of humans gather, and chances are attend on a frequent schedule. Most folks on transit would prefer you just leave them alone, but hey, you never know. I've met people/had good conversations on busses before.

A thought: if you see one of these regulars again, try giving a nice compliment (with strangers, nice = one that doesn't involve their body - think a cool book they're carrying, t-shirt, dangly thing on a backpack, cool shoes, etc.) and a question (open ended if you feel like trying for a conversation, closed is fine if that seems daunting). Sometimes cool shit can follow - worst thing that generally happens (so long as you follow the advice afterwards) is you're told to fuck off. A lot of the time, it's something in a middle - the question gets answered, you might say "Awesome! Well I hope you have a great day" with a smile and go sit, and the stranger moves on with (maybe) a little boost. That ain't nothing - lots of us could use those little boosts. All of of a sudden you might see yourself mentioned in those missed connection posts, lol.

Despite having my own hot-and-cold periods over it, I truly feel we need to talk to strangers in meatspace as a whole more often.